Ch**** Posted December 21, 2022 Posted December 21, 2022 As a Dom myself, I have my own perception when it comes to comment on the strictness of a Dom. I would be very keen to find out the sub's point of view. From the sub's perspective what criteria do you have/ use in order to conclude/ label a dom as a soft or as a strict one. For e example: What does matter for you sub's? The tolerance of the dom before enforcing punishment? The severity of the punishment? The intensity? The duration? The resulted marking on your body?(assuming it's an impact punishment) The implement used for? Please feel free to post your opinion.
ge**** Posted December 21, 2022 Posted December 21, 2022 I don't tend to think in terms of harsh, strict, soft etc - more in terms of compatibility, attraction, connection etc - if they're in place the rest will follow naturally
KittenforSir Posted December 21, 2022 Posted December 21, 2022 Totally agree with gemini_man - if that is all in place then you can explore more together
Cheekysub247 Posted December 21, 2022 Posted December 21, 2022 I personally need someone strict (in my view of strict) i need them to follow through with a punishment which are normally harsh/what i dont enjoy
Deleted Member Posted December 21, 2022 Posted December 21, 2022 I definitely need very firm boundaries I love control. Speach, posture, eye contact etc. With my long term Dom we had levels of submission for example if we were out in a, shopping mall I had to walk on his left side slightly behind. I could speak without permission but what I said had to be pertinent. I had to show respect without being obvious. If we were in a club eye contact and speech were only allowed with permission, the only form. Of address, allowed was 'Master' I was on my knees at all times unless otherwise instructed. This, was, our 'formal' level. Then there was, strict wher I wasn't allowed any movement at all, no speeck other than eresponding to His questions, probably held in a stress position and if punishment was being a m nisteted I had to stay as, silent as possible. For me tjis kind of framework works to enable me to push myself to deeper levels of submission and subsequently subspace. I love an almost militaristic style of discipline that leaves no rokm whatsoever for doubting expectations or consequences. I personally don't like aftercare much either. For me be ng told 'thatceasn' t bad but I want more next time's going to leave me wanting to reach those new targets. But we aren't all the same. Each must plot their own course.
CopperKnob Posted December 21, 2022 Posted December 21, 2022 7 hours ago, gemini_man said: I don't tend to think in terms of harsh, strict, soft etc - more in terms of compatibility, attraction, connection etc - if they're in place the rest will follow naturally This. If all the basics of a (non D/s) relationship, in terms of what I need, such as those Gemini mentioned and, including trust and respect are present, then submission will follow and likely develop as time goes on. Personally, the only response to a 'punishment' I'll give is apathy. Enough of it and I'll withdraw. That's why the individual conversations about needs/wants/limits are essential but, only once there's a relationship.
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