Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 Okay so I'd like some advice. I had been seeing this great Dom, this is second time around, as first time we had a miscommunication which left us not talking for a couple of months. This time we dated for over a month before we became intimate; he wanted to show me that he was serious and not just wanting a one night stand. We have a contract which we both agreed on. Now early December he had to work really long days, including weekends. Then his father took seriously ill and last I heard was in hospital. At first my dom messaged me, every few days to keep me updated. But then about 3 weeks ago, he informs me that his father has taken a turn for the worse, but that he would call me the next day. I've heard nothing since, I've left 2 or 3 messages just saying hey I'm here if you need to talk, but no response, finally this weekend I telephoned, I left him a message, asking how he was but have still not heard from him. I'm confused is it a case of worst case scenario, his father passed away and he is reeling from this and dealing with me is too much for him? Or has he just decided not to bother with me. Not knowing makes it hard to know how to act, do I wait for him? Do I just chalk it up to another one of those things? How long do you wait for someone without knowing whats going on?
Maraudermitch Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 Solar. Just give some space. If they want to get back they will in their own time. Do you have any of his social media where he would put that info.
Cheekysub247 Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 Even when my dad was dying/died, i replied to those close to me. Personally i would move on x x
Ma**** Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 I've recently been "ghosted" by my lg, and I think if she had enough then she should have said
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2023 Author Posted January 9, 2023 I agree, its selfish to not do so.
Ma**** Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 What ever has gone on it doesn't take much just to say sorry but, , ,
Maraudermitch Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 Unfortunately some people find it hard to be honest. But be selfish with your heart. We have all got heartache from previous relationships
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2023 Author Posted January 9, 2023 Yes, although my case isn't quite the same, I mean his dad was in hospital last I heard.... I have lost family members I know how hard that is, I kept in touch with those that mattered to me, but maybe that's just the point, I didn't matter much to me so he doesn't have the head space for me.
Cheekysub247 Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 It takes less than a min to type out, sorry i need space to someone who said they wanted to show how serious they are x x
MrHulk Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 Well its different for everyone to be honest, But he could still message to say hey I am OK hope you are to. At least its a message and some contact, the question is how much you like him how much you want to wait so its a hard one
CopperKnob Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 My grandad was the person I was closest to in the whole world. The 5 days he was in hospital at the end, I stayed with him sleeping in the chair when I could, buying a phone charger from the shop within the hospital. I still managed to message the people outside of the family who were important to me. It may have taken me a few hours after he past to do so but I did. Like Cheeky says, it takes a couple of mins to take your phone out and send a message regardless what's going on. It's what you as an individual makes a priority at times of difficulty. I think, if it's been a few weeks and you've reached out with no response, I'd cash in my chips. I think you know that else you wouldn't have asked. They may have been a "great Dom" at the start but when it's a facade it only lasts so long, they don't have the energy to keep it up
ge**** Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 It's a difficult one being honest - people deal and cope with grief and situations like serious family illness in different ways - and for some the focus becomes dealing with that situation and contact with some, particularly a casual sex site contact becomes less of a priority, even to send a quick one liner - I know when I was in a similar situation part of me felt "awkward" maintaining outside contact whilst I was dealing with what was going on, now I soon got past that, but for others it may not be the same. . That said I can also understand your position OP and how not knowing may raise concerns etc. . I think in this instance I'd take it that you'll not hear from him and may never know what the truth of the matter is, but at the same time keep an open mind if you do hear from him - you've shown you care and are there for him by reaching out, now you have to leave it with him.
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2023 Author Posted January 9, 2023 Thanks to everyone for their comments and advice.
CopperKnob Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 2 minutes ago, Solar-9882 said: Thanks to everyone for their comments and advice. You may want to ask a Mod to close comments otherwise people will keep commenting and I'm guessing that that may not be helpful to you
ey**** Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 the slight cynicism for me is that this is seemingly a second time this has happened (in the sense of a first communication breakdown and then him coming back) but it is very difficult to weigh up the benefit of the doubt and what is reasonable. So Don't make any further contact to him. Give him maybe one week or two and if you hear nothing then cut losses.
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