:1778633327,1986691, Simply type into Google, the following very simple phrase: Is Clare's Law successful in the West Midlands.
The answer will be YES. And, it will give the stats (a dirty word for some), the volumes, and the reasons why.
You see, up in my neck of the woods, Read more… we encourage our women folk not to be punch bags AND CRUCIALLY, not to let perpetrators get away with stuff. So it's no surprise that CLARE'S LAW works well up here!
Maybe, you should contact your equivalents up here and take some lessons... that is, if you really want to make things better for your clientèle.
It is a well known fact that just making a noise with no actual attempt to bring about change, clearly doesn't work.
No doubt there'll be no forthcoming apology or conceding to THESE DOCUMENTED FACTS, just more 'whataboutery', and more high jacking.
---------------------------------------------------
Because I know some people do not want others to see those facts and figures, I've taken the liberty of posting some of them here... You're welcome.
==================
The following is what you'll see when you do that Google search:
Clare’s Law (Domestic *** Disclosure Scheme) is considered highly active and successful in the West Midlands, with thousands of households using it to check partners' violent histories. Data indicates a major rise in disclosures, helping to protect people at risk.
Key Success Factors and Data (2025–2026):
High Usage: In 2025, West Midlands Police reported over 5,500 applications. In 2024, there was a 39% increase in warnings issued.
"Right to Know" and "Right to Ask": Police, in early 2026, were processing thousands of requests to proactively disclose information or answer enquiries from concerned citizens.
Preventative Impact: The law is credited with helping individuals identify abusive partners who lied about their past, allowing victims to take action to secure their safety.


It’s rather revealing that, despite claiming experience working with women fleeing domestic *** in a refuge setting, your contribution to a discussion explicitly asking what men should be doing differently to combat VAWG was to immediately redirect responsibility back onto women with one, sole solution.

You could have chosen to share your 3rd hand experience. Your could have advocated on behalf of women. You could have made suggestions on how men can make changes. You could have taken shared accountability.

You simply added another reminder for women to modify themselves, restrict themselves, monitor themselves and take yet another precaution in a society where women have already been conditioned to do exactly that for generations.

To circle back, the entire point of the OP was asking how men examine and modify their own behaviour, attitudes and ***r culture, not how women can continue carrying the burden of prevention against someone elses behaviour while you, and other men remain comfortable, passive observers.

For someone positioning themselves as informed through professional experience, your response is less insightful than I imagine you believe it to be and yet another example of how deeply ingrained it is for men to centre women’s behaviour even in conversations specifically about male *** and a lack of accountability.

:1778356956,452480, it is finally down and charges are starting
however...... like a lot of tube, pirate, etc sites a lot of this content was there, and there for years. I'm not saying this is ok, the opposite in fact. They also weren't the only guilty website - I treat folk Read more… who rave about (fuck it, I'll name it) pornhub with deep suspicions because for the longest time they were extremely slack on content which shouldn't be there, including stuff where one or more parties did not consent to the act, being filmed, etc. only 2022 they started to take it seriously and only because the card companies threatened to do list them. I also extend some of this distrust to people who access pirate content in general

Absolutely, its been there for decades, hidden only accessed by those looking for it. In its place a number more will be created purely because of the media attention received putting ideas in to people's minds as to how depraved they can be and get away with it

:1778377648,1986691, I've supported quite a few in my time, because it was a part of my job role.
Hence, my display of pretty extensive knowledge on the subject, and CLARE'S LAW in particular. A diligent person would have picked up on this and realised that I had more than Read more… just a "passing interest".
The women I worked with in the female refuge / safe space arena, are NOT man-haters, and as a result, were able to form many useful connections and networks. This resulted in some very innovative and well received awareness, targeted and educational campaaigns about VAWG, SA and DV.
If they saw this thread, they would be horrified at the high jacking and wasted opportunity to get men to talk freely about the topic of VAWG and how they could counteract it. In fact, they would see it as very, very counterproductive.
You see, their approach is to bring people INTO the conversation, NOT to alienate them out, which is probably part of the reason why they're so successful when others, clearly aren't.

There's a lot of assumptions there.

What your experience should provide you is with an ability to see that with every positive is a/are negative/s and that nothing is black and white.

When someone as passionate as Jess Philips resigns from her post as the Safeguarding Minister calling out a lack of action/boldness of her Govt. You start to realise VAWG is on no ones agenda as a priority than those that live it.

:1778299126,1986691, The 'decent men out there,' have been speaking up and challenging those that aren't for a while now... It's just that some women have simply chosen not to recognise their efforts.
The mother of the woman who the DVDS is named after, CLARE'S LAW, didn’t Read more… just sit around moaning that it's 'all mens' fault', and that 'men should do better'. She didn't sit around and say 'it's not our job'. Instead, she made sure that the deeath of her daughter at the hands of a man who had convictions for SA and DV, would not be in vane.
HENCE, why SHE pushed to ensure that an exception in the law was made whereby women and others, would have the right to be told if their partner or ex partner had a history of SA and/or DV.
As a result, very many women HAVE BEEN SAVED from becoming veectims of a SA and DV, BECAUSE they used CLARE'S LAW.
We've even had a lady on this very thread, testify how it saved her from becoming a potential next veectim.
It's all too easy to criticize when there is no intention to try and improve upon a situation, or, contribute in a positive way to the effort.
Just think, if this topic hadn't been derailed, there could've been some good suggestions that could have gone on to be genuinely good workable and viable ideas. Instead, here we are.
For 'decent men', when we can't directly protect those we care about, we do the next best thing, we give and we share tools and information that they can use to protect themselves. One of them, being Clare's Law. It's not perfect, but it's more effective than just wishing for change.


As i previously asked, how many women and g1rls have you supported through DA, SA and VAWG?

Its literally my job and has been for the past 18yrs. In addition to being a women, thats what makes me educated enough on the subject to be able to voice the reality of everything you deny.

:1778115486,1986691, @TheZenCommander again, you are incorrect. This was the original question.

Jo Shaw' ex ***d his way into her house with an explosive device which went off. They both d1ed.
The case has been referred to the IOPC Read more… wanna know why? Jo had been reporting to the police the DA incidents she had been experiencing with him for a long time. Theybwere both well known to the authorities. This was after she'd left the relationship, changed her phone number and moved address. She subsequently reported that she beleived that he was trying to harm her.
The police took no action.
So you can tell us to make use of Clares law, leave a DA relationship, got to an IDVA/Police and get a non mole , do this, do that. Women are still dy1ng despite doing everything right.

How many arrests have been made following CNN's report on one global r@pe academy? Is the website still up and running with that particular area of it active? Rhetorical, I know the answers.

We report and we aren't beleived as evidenced by one victim whose husband drugg3d and then r@ped her was told by the police - Well, we can't use that, that isn't clear evidence, because it looks like you're pretending to be asleep.’

Let's not forget the Rotherham grooming gang which went on for decades with numerous agencies being aware of what was happening (you can read the Jay report) but those in positions to do something about it framed the situation as the g1rls being sex workers, undesirables and being blamed for the cr1mes committed against them with professionals suggesting that the g1rls were consenting to the r@pe. A reminder that all those involved (other than the perpetrators) were minors and unable to consent legally.

These are not isolated incidents but a recurring systemic problem.

You can shout as much as youbwant avout all the things women and g1rls can do to keep ourselves safe. We already know them because we're told about them from an early age. They're ingrained in us.

We can report but, unless we're the perfect v1ctim, there won't be a Charge brought.

This does not change until men decide to change. Until the decent men out there speak up and challenge those that aren't which is literally the point of the OP. Until VAWG is actually a priority for govts. laws and systems are changed and women are believed.

:1778000485,1986691,

Neither @TheZenCommander nor I suggested to anyone that they do not make use of Clares law nor did we make a blanket statement that it doesn't work. What we said was, it has its faults, shouldnt be relied upon and Read more… quite frankly it shouldn't be required in the first place. Men should be able to act like decent people.

Out of interest, how many women have you worked with/supported that have experienced male v1olence be that DA or SA. What's your experience of such incidents that gives you so much insight into VAWG to feel so confident in shouting people with that experience down?

The reason VAWG is so prevalent is that women and g1rls are not listened to, not believed and the voice of the male is still louder than ours as evidenced within this thread where you have a man clearly displaying misogynistic/violent behaviour towards others and no apparent comeuppance evident.

:1777832788,5668161,
Wild. How about those of us who aren’t doing those terrible things?? Aren’t we mitigating it just by being who we are? Disappointing really when you all have had fathers/brothers/uncles/nephews/sons who haven’t done it and are still Read more… lumped into the same crowds who are terrible people. But I digress, what do I know? Lol

It may have been good enough in years gone by but not now no. Not when we now have to listen to people lamenting that there's a male loneliness epidemic without acknowledgement that everything mentioned above is a contributing factor.

We can all find stats that suit our own narrative. For example

DA crimes recorded by the police show the following trends:

The victim was female in 72.1% of domestic ***-related crimes in YE March 2025
69.6% of victims of domestic homicide were female, compared with 11.4% of victims of Read more… non-domestic homicide between YE March 2022 and YE March 2024

Sexual a$$ault crimes recorded by the police in year ending March 2025 show the following:

The victim was female in 82% of sexual offences
for female victims of r@pe, the perpetrator (where known) was most likely to be an intimate partner (48%), whereas for male victims of r@pe, the perpetrator was most likely to be an acquaintance (33%) or “other family relative” (32%).

(All current info on the ONS)

Whilst I dont disagree that these are offences affecting all genders, women and girls face a higher level of risk and always have done.

For those suggesting that its a generational matter, that today's male generation aren't 'real men.' Incorrect. As a society, women are reporting more.

For those suggesting its an issue of men being raised in families with absent fathers, another straw man and a narrative thats been pushed on you. Male perpetrator are typically from gender normative homes where they've seen male to female *** in whatever form and its been normalised.

For those suggesting its a women's issue, we need to 'make better choices' read up on coercive control, gaslighting and love bombing.

For those who think that Clare's law is the answer, less than 3% of r@pists are convicted. When a request is made under the DVDS, not all information is necessarily disclosed and, in reality, from experience, such requests are generally not responded to. Off the top of mind head, I can think of 3 cases where the request was made, no information shared and all 3 were so high risk they all ended up at MARAC

But, the OP isnt asking whose problem it is, they're asking men, what you do to mitigate against it. So far, I've seen very little. Disappointing really when you all have/have had, mothers/grandmothers/aunts/***s/nieces and possibly daughters.

For those who are interested in educating themselves on the matter (because thats where it starts) have a look at a site called HASSL.

:1773836465,452480, I really don't feel I've much to add to it. I'm also not sure what his regurgitated BS even had to do with the spirit of the thread, but hey ho

I could have added so much more but unfortunately had to go to work Read more… 🤣
Google is always available for anyone to actually fact check what they're spouting 🙄

:1773830467,725155, I know. But I think they also rely, to some degree or other, on not being called out and challenged by other men. If my comment gets even just one or two to reconsider their mindset, I believe it's worth it.

I Read more… appreciate your response, youre right men do need to call out other men

:1773798348,3018607, Hello, I'd like to properly debate this what you have wrote here without being nasty. I find it quite insulting for a woman to write women dont need men. Men have built this world you live in and this is the easiest in history for a woman. To remind you Read more… that women have it so much easier than men. You can have sex with no consequences by having the pill and abortions, but we can't have a say if we dont want ***. Women use the *** as weapons for either spite, *** etc. 95% of courts side with the mum. You have pro rata in the work place. Nearly all hr in the work place is geared toward women. When in public women and call men misogynistic and narcissistic when they dont even know how severe those words mean. Can accuse men of *** and *** and mens lives are ruined when most of the time it's the woman who say worse things. Because women can't physically hurt most men they go down the road of deceive and try and ruin them socially and in work. Women can make *** so much easier than men and can get access to things. Even though they do it by wrecking their chances of being a good mother and wife in the future. And it's all our fault. Social media has ruined women. The self entitlement some women have these days is horrendous. Nobody deserves anything unless they work hard for it. Women can cheat in marriage and still end up taking half and the ***. And myself im a good strong man who leads by example in life for my son of whom I've brought up myself. Worked hard and by no means an angel myself. Im a strong minded and loving man that makes his partner feel loved, safe, special, secure, sexy as much as possible. Im a man's man who makes his partner feel properly feminine. And it's reciprocated the other way. Women dont even trust other women most of the time and how are men supposed to know what you want when women let their feelings and emotions rule decision making instead of facts and being practical. Thank you. X

I’ll respond to this in the same 'respectful' spirit you asked for, by addressing the claims directly (maybe a little more educated/less biased)

1. “Men built the world
Women have it easiest now”
It’s true that historically men dominated many visible roles in infrastructure, politics, and industry. But that wasn’t because women were less capable, it was largely because women were excluded from education, property rights, voting, and professions for centuries.
At the same time, women contributed in less recognised but essential ways: raising families, unpaid labour, agriculture, healthcare, and community stability. Modern society is built by both men and women, just in different proportions depending on the era and opportunity.
Today, things are more balanced, not because women “have it easy,” but because barriers have been reduced by women.

2. “Women have no consequences for sex”
Inaccurate. Contraception and abortion reduce some risks, but they don’t remove consequences and they arent widely available to all:
Pregnancy affects women physically, emotionally and medically, more so for POC
Social stigma still exists in many places
Emotional and psychological impacts can be significant
Women still carry the majority of reproductive responsibility
Men and women simply face different risks, not zero vs. full consequences.

3. “Men have no say in parenthood”
You’re right that men don’t have the same level of control once pregnancy occurs.
However, the legal reasoning is based on bodily autonomy: pregnancy happens in a woman’s body, so the final decision legally rests there.

4. “Courts favour mothers” Why that bias existed (and sometimes still does)
The “Tender Years Doctrine” (historical foundation)
For a long time especially in the 19th and early 20th centuries courts followed something called the Tender Years Doctrine.
It assumed young *** were best cared for by their mothers
Fathers were seen primarily as financial providers, not caregivers
This created a strong default toward giving custody to mothers
Even though this doctrine has largely been replaced, its influence shaped legal culture for decades, and some of that thinking still lingers.
Traditional gender roles carried into courtrooms
For most of modern history, men worked fulltime outside the home
Women were primary caregivers
So when courts had to decide custody, they often asked:
“Who has been doing the day to day parenting?”
Because of those roles, the answer was usually the mother not necessarily because of bias in that moment, but because of how responsibilities had been divided before the separation.
Even today, this can still affect outcomes:
If one parent has been the main caregiver, courts often try to maintain that stability for the child
“Best interests of the child” can be subjective
Modern courts use a standard called “the best interests of the child.”
That sounds fair and it is in principle but in practice:
It gives judges a lot of discretion
Personal beliefs and cultural norms can influence decisions
Fathers were historically less likely to seek custody whuch is a key point that often gets overlooked.
In many cases:
Fathers did not pursue full or primary custody
Some assumed they wouldn’t win
Others prioritised financial provision over custody
So statistics showing more mothers with custody don’t always mean courts chose mothers over equally competing fathers sometimes only one parent was actively seeking it.
That said, when fathers do pursue custody, their success rates are often higher than people expect.
Courts consider:
Who can provide a stable home
Work schedules
Financial situation
Historically, men were more likely to work long hours
Women were more likely to have flexible or home based roles
That made mothers appear more “available,” which influenced custody decisions.
Family courts tend to be cautious because they’re dealing witha ch1ld’s welfare.
If there’s any uncertainty (even minor or unproven concerns), courts may lean toward:
The parent perceived as more “safe” or familiar and still thats often the primary caregiver, who is frequently the mother. It’s as simple as risk management.
Shared custody is increasingly the default
Fathers are more involved from early childhood
Courts are more aware of past biases
There’s been a shift toward:
Co-parenting arrangements
Equal parenting time where possible

5. “False accusations ruin men’s lives”
False accusations do happen yet, at the same time, most accusations are not proven false. Many cases of harassment/***/DA/SA go unreported primarily due to not being believed by priorities and other failings within the criminal justice arena. The percentage of proven false accusations is miniscule. Just because someone didn't get charged/convicted doesn't mean it was a false accusations, it means CPS didn't agree a charge because they didn't think it was in the publics interest to do so.

6. “Women manipulate socially because they can’t physically compete”
A generalisation than a fact. People regardless of gender use different forms of conflict: Some use physical aggression
Others use social or emotional tactics
These behaviours aren’t exclusive to men/women. Men also engage in reputation damage, workplace politics, and social manipulation.

7. “Women have advantages in work and HR”
There has been a push to correct past inequalities (e.g., hiring bias, pay gaps, workplace harassment). However, men still dominate many high-paying and leadership roles even in sectors heavily dominated by women such as the health and social care sector.
Workplace policies are designed to reduce legal risk, not favour one gender personally
It’s less about “favouring women” and more about trying to create fairness/protect the organisation either financially or their reputation.

8. “Social media has made women entitled”
Social media amplifies extreme behaviour on both sides. You’ll see entitled attitudes from some women, toxic or hostile attitudes from some men, the manosphere isnt a made up word.
But that’s not representative of most people. Algorithms reward outrage, not reality.

9. “Women cheat and still benefit in divorce”
Divorce outcomes usually depend on:
Assets acquired during marriage, child custody arrangements, financial dependency
Infidelity can matter legally in some places, but often the system focuses on financial fairness rather than moral judgment.
Men can and do receive fair settlements too especially when they are primary caregivers or earn less.

10. “Women are too emotional; men are more practical”
A stereotype, but research shows both men and women are emotional
They just express and process emotions differently. Men need to be emotionally intelligent. Good decision-making actually requires both emotion and logic. Too much of either alone can lead to poor outcomes.

11. Your personal point
You describe yourself as a responsible, involved father and partner. That matters a lot. Many people, men and women, are looking for exactly that kind of stability and mutual respect.
But it’s important not to project negative experiences or online narratives onto all women. Just like it wouldn’t be fair for women to assume all men are harmful or irresponsible.

:1772437513,6180068,
I 100% agree with you! How I was raised and where, women always had more rights than men did, and I have no problem with that, because they’re our equals.

Where was this?

I do love when a man tells me what it is I 'need' 🙄

Anyway.

We're now responsible for stripping the world of masculinity, who knew we were so powerful, powerful enough to strip an entire gender identity???

If a man’s definition of masculinity is dependent on women needing him, it's not Read more… masculinity, it’s anxiety over job security.
Don’t worry though, the world isn’t running out of masculinity. It’s just running out of the kind that requires applause for basic decency.