Deleted Member Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 Hello, I'd love to open a discussion on the strength that manifests from submission. Enabling Empowering Enlightening Excavating Evocative Ecstasy These are words that come to mind when I think of my journey. As a result of all of the above my life has become far more brilliant! The question I have is how have others managed this and have they faced any difficulties along the way? For me this has meant that I've become more outspoken and confident leaving others uncomfortable, scared or nervous of me! Also, I welcome any tips from the meek and mild about how you'd like to be treated, Thank you 🔥
BigPolly Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 Morning Fire, Im super loud (mainly to hide an underlying shyness) & I have very little filter so often say what I think. I’ll happily take the lead in any situation or conversation & I feel this leaves others quite nervous of me. Luckily most people know me & know that I’m a big sweary female version of Brian Blessed. I’m also flipping hilarious (which I often remind people) & so I think this helps me get away with who I am but I’m also a great believer that if someone doesn’t like me that’s fine, that’s life & we can’t all like everyone. I’m also a terrible control freak in any situation. I do however feel this has been a sticking point when finding Doms with bags of confidence. I don’t know whether most have just been ‘all talk’ or whether my confidence has then stripped them of theirs. When I submit I strip myself of my own control, so far but i am yet to find a Dom who makes me feel like he has enough power & confidence to strip it back even further or even totally! I’m certainly not a brat but I find that I won’t submit fully unless someone has total control. I also then get into a mind battle with myself where I push myself further, only because I refuse to stop until someone can stop me (if that makes sense) I know this has frustrated at least one Dom. Thing is, we are all amazingly & beautifully different & the world would be boring if we were all the same. I can’t change who I am & so the journey to find those that we slot into place with or accept us is an exciting journey 😊x
Deleted Member Posted February 20, 2019 Author Posted February 20, 2019 4 minutes ago, BigPolly said: "big sweary female version of Brian Blessed. I’m also flipping hilarious (which I often remind people) & so I think this helps me get away with who I am" This but made me 🤣🤣🤣 it also reminded me that those troubled by me need to know me more! Thing is, we are all amazingly & beautifully different & the world would be boring if we were all the same. I can’t change who I am & so the journey to find those that we slot into place with or accept us is an exciting journey 😊x I love this sentiment and whole heartedly agree 🔥
BigPolly Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 2 minutes ago, Firewitch said: it also reminded me that those troubled by me need to know me more! But you are who you are, you are simply ‘wonderful you!’ Is it down to you to show others more about yourself or for others to find out more & make their own minds up? Others will always have an opinion good or bad & that’s ok, that’s human nature. There are those out there who love your confidence & strive & maybe would love to be more like that & there are others who wish you’d step back a bit but in reality those that travel alongside us in life are the ones who simply accept us without any explanation & the ones who are worth our time because they allow us to be ourselves ❤️
li**** Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 I was always confident when I was younger had to be as I use to be a dancer then met my ex who absused me till I was an empty shell of my former self. All my confidence I worked so hard for had gone, hence why now I am very very shy when meeting new people or I don't speak up enough. As a sub I always thought you needed to be mild and meek but since meeting a few Dom's and now my play partner I am finding that my confidence is coming back and I feel even more sexier and stronger than before. And I think I second what you ladies are saying in that if everyone was the same the world of BDSM would be a very boring place, if people are scared of you or don't like you for you then that's their problem not yours. I personally love your confidence and outspokenness and strive to be more like that myself. 🔥🔥🔥
Deleted Member Posted February 20, 2019 Author Posted February 20, 2019 Thank you lilm for sharing your story 😘 it's so inspirational x
Deleted Member Posted February 20, 2019 Author Posted February 20, 2019 Mmmm where to start with this one ? I totally understand all of the above POV, for me as old school the sub is the power and strength in a Ds relationship , the Dom strives to support, develop and enable her, I love taking a sub on the journey from meek mild and naive to strong sensual and knowledgable. You can almost tangibly feel the power exchange happenning as they present you with the gift of their submission once you have their trust and confidence ownership of the mind, then anything is possible after all in the dark mirror of our world THE IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING XX
Lillyth Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 Hi Fire, I think that your confidence can seem a bit daunting but only because (for me personally) it’s something I aspire to and feel so far away from! Even writing this takes a lot! The more I get to know you the more I learn that it is a huge journey that has got you to this point. I tend to shy away from putting myself out there and hate to feel as though I’m imposing on others and therefore often need to be pushed to do so. I’m very grateful I have that from you as with every new challenge I feel I’m taking a step further. Thank you so much ❣️
Deleted Member Posted February 20, 2019 Author Posted February 20, 2019 Hi, As someone who is inexperienced and learning as they go in a D/s relationship, confidence and strength can be gained or lost very quickly, and depending on what's caused that to happen can depend on if/when/how it can be regained. There are a lot of subs with strong, confident, some times loud personalities, and that in itself is very attractive, but can be intimidating to someone who is still building their own confidence and strengh. I have struggled in the past when meeting new louder people due to being quite reserved around new people, sometimes coming across as shy, but once I open up my true outgoing personality can show through. Some people can/will judge you before they get to see/know this and works both ways (unfortunately). I believe a Dom can grow the same way as a sub, and it's the same principles of good communication and understanding that help this happen. Sometimes it takes longer to happen or even see happening, and it can be in many different forms. There are a lot of beautiful personalities and people waiting/looking to find someone. It will happen, and it will be worth it when it happens!!
Fa**** Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 Just from joining here and chatting in the lobby i have learnt so much about myself, who i am and who i would like to be. After being taken under a wing i have learnt and changed a little about myself but am finding myself slipping back into obscurity through ***.
NessieWolfe Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 I've been on both sides of the coin . I think the main thing is if having a conversation as a group to try to ask an opinion of someone who is in the corner that may not know anyone or shy. So they feel included and the ice is broken.
Deleted Member Posted April 13, 2019 Author Posted April 13, 2019 On 2/20/2019 at 8:35 AM, BigPolly said: When I submit I strip myself of my own control, so far but i am yet to find a Dom who makes me feel like he has enough power & confidence to strip it back even further or even totally! This is totally me, I am also loud, bubbly and confident. Which I think can put some people off and have trouble fully submitting. I have often referred to myself as a bratty submissive but since meeting my new dom and building our trust and relationship I am slowly learning about submitting fully. I also think its part of a nerves thing, to fully give up control and trust someone explicitly is hard!
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