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Sex drive

By Deleted Member
in New to BDSM, Kink & Fetish?

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Deleted Member

Posted

I feel like this is a missing topic...

Sometimes my sex drive is high & one ex told I need to get some more hobbies

Other times my sex drive low & another ex told to stop wanking & fuck her more.

As far as I am aware it's not me who is control of my sex drive.  The rite person/kink make my sex drive go up.
Life being crap makes my sex drive go into hiding. 
Iv noticed when I eat healthily my mood is improved ... but there is nothing I can do like that to influence my sex drive.
Dose anybody do anything to influence their own sex drive or is it always a case of  letting the body decide ?

ge****

ge****

Posted
Sex drive and libido are influenced by many things - physical and mental wellbeing are part of it, general fitness and more - there's nothing you can really do to control it other than by taking care of yourself.
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For some their level of sex drive may vary over time, for some it's generally high, and for others generally low.
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It's also worth noting that other people's perceptions of your sex drive are actually reflections on their own sex drive rather than yours - for example someone thinking you have a high sex drive may have a low one themselves, so yours just seems high by comparison.
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Mine comes and goes with the wind, and a lot of it comes down to my state of mind at any given time - but then at my age it doesn't surprise me.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
🖐️ I have no drive. Contributed to the breakdown of my marriage (one on a list she had).

If you unlock the magic let me know. I might have the motor kick in once a month if I'm lucky. But yeah most of the time, it's non existent

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
I'm going to pass up on that lol. But good suggestion
ge****

ge****

Posted
5 minutes ago, anadrolbaby420 said:
Inject testosterone

Whilst having your testosterone levels checked and, if necessary, addressed may be an option when done and recommended by a health care professional - simply injecting testosterone is most definitely not a good recommendation without those relevant checks.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
14 minutes ago, DaleG said:

🖐️ I have no drive. Contributed to the breakdown of my marriage (one on a list she had).

If you unlock the magic let me know. I might have the motor kick in once a month if I'm lucky. But yeah most of the time, it's non existent

If you have always had a low sex drive then there is nothing wrong with you ( everybody has a list of faults & strengths . Lucky people find others that fit in with that...VERY lucky people)

ooooor seeming as we are on this site maybe the truth is you just have found the rite kink yet.
I suggest you goto the community  section & look at the list. Try one a minimum of one a week ;)

DominicKernows

DominicKernows

Posted
I can say when I had a fairly muscle body, I often had a crazy sex drive which nearly drove me nuts. The unspoken truth of the gym, that said sometimes I was so tired from working out and repairing muscle he didn't want to play. Diet and protein especially seems to have a large effect on me and we are all individual

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
14 minutes ago, u-6195578a4437c said:

If you have always had a low sex drive then there is nothing wrong with you ( everybody has a list of faults & strengths . Lucky people find others that fit in with that...VERY lucky people)

ooooor seeming as we are on this site maybe the truth is you just have found the rite kink yet.
I suggest you goto the community  section & look at the list. Try one a minimum of one a week

Oh I know my kink, ive known for about 20 years. Just wasn't something my ex wife was interested in. But yeah, never really had a drive.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
1 hour ago, u-6195578a4437c said:

I feel like this is a missing topic...

Sometimes my sex drive is high & one ex told I need to get some more hobbies

Other times my sex drive low & another ex told to stop wanking & fuck her more.

As far as I am aware it's not me who is control of my sex drive.  The rite person/kink make my sex drive go up.
Life being crap makes my sex drive go into hiding. 
Iv noticed when I eat healthily my mood is improved ... but there is nothing I can do like that to influence my sex drive.
Dose anybody do anything to influence their own sex drive or is it always a case of  letting the body decide ?

Am exactly the same

Mi****

Mi****

Posted
It’s natural for sex drives to fluctuate for a myriad of reasons. Mismatched sex drives are a point of contention in most relationships, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to change unless you yourself want to change.

Maybe that’s a change in diet, increased exercise, taking steps to improve your mental well being, seeing a doctor, improving your communication with your partner, or exploring new kinks with them.

If there is still a mismatch, some people find that opening the relationship up helps. The person with the higher sex drive gets those needs met with someone else, and it takes the pressure off of the lower sex drive person to always have to perform, even when they aren’t in the mood.

The times your ex told you to “stop wanking and fuck her more” points to a deeper seated issue. If you were literally masturbating instead of interacting with your partner, then that indicates your sex drive was fine, but something was off with your sexual desire for them.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
1 minute ago, MisterUp said:
It’s natural for sex drives to fluctuate for a myriad of reasons. Mismatched sex drives are a point of contention in most relationships, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to change unless you yourself want to change.

Maybe that’s a change in diet, increased exercise, taking steps to improve your mental well being, seeing a doctor, improving your communication with your partner, or exploring new kinks with them.

If there is still a mismatch, some people find that opening the relationship up helps. The person with the higher sex drive gets those needs met with someone else, and it takes the pressure off of the lower sex drive person to always have to perform, even when they aren’t in the mood.

The times your ex told you to “stop wanking and fuck her more” points to a deeper seated issue. If you were literally masturbating instead of interacting with your partner, then that indicates your sex drive was fine, but something was off with your sexual desire for them.

Yeah, I tried that open relationship in an attempt to save my marriage. She's now with one of the guys she was seeing in the open relationship 😂. Back fired on me that one 🤣

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
Exercise, especially in the evening.

Planning time to play can help, getting your body & mind in a routine of being aroused, even if it's just massage or foreplay, after some exercise can be a good time whilst you have a boost of energy, testosterone & other feel good chemicals in the brain & body.

Confidence & positivity can help, if you're low in confidence & esteem it will have an effect on your sex drive. Don't dwell on past issues or poor performances, shit happens, just move on.

We, psychologically all have triggers, negative & positive, we as people have lots of microtriggers that build up & can cause heightened anxiety & stress but the right triggers can build up heightened pleasure & arousal, lots of small pleasures, to build up arousal through the day, like having good open sexual conversation, having that connection with them to build up arousal through the day with flirting, touching, dirty talk or if you know there are specific sexual things you like, toys, kinks or fantasies you have (the more you explore kinks, the more you find the things you & your partner like the more chance you have of a regular higher arousal & drive), planning them, thinking them through, sorting the things you need can help raise arousal, each piece of the puzzle you put in place a microtrigger to heightening your arousal & sex drive.

Masturbating less can help for some, reducing it & letting things build up a bit, bottle it up a bit so to speak, to save the desire, energy & juice for with your partner.

Try to keep stress levels & anxiety low.

Smoking, ***, including medications & alcohol can have an effect on drive & performance.
Mi****

Mi****

Posted
14 minutes ago, DaleG said:

Yeah, I tried that open relationship in an attempt to save my marriage. She's now with one of the guys she was seeing in the open relationship 😂. Back fired on me that one 🤣

I don’t know if that “backfired” so much as your relationship was already nearing its logical conclusion. Opening up a relationship will never fix it, but if it’s a strong one already it can address certain issues and make it even stronger. I’m glad you’re able to laugh about it now and I wish you better fortune in the future.

Ch****

Ch****

Posted
I dont have a sex drive, i can only feel some sort of need for orgasm when my brain is stimulated by the right person. Yes brain not body, wrong person means nothing will happen no matter what is done to the body. So i let my brain decide x x
Lagertha

Lagertha

Posted

For me the more sex I have the higher my sex drive becomes, especially if I trust who I'm with and they make me feel sexy. If I'm not with anyone (or who I'm with is a tit) and I'm not getting any it drops and I'm actually not bothered I just get on with life lol. Everyone is different and that is perfectly OK, there are tons of reasons why it can go up and down. 

Totallyyoursub

Totallyyoursub

Posted
One thing I’ve learned is women and men are definitely different. Women seem to need a desire to want sex, and generally aren’t as easy to be aroused as me. My sex drive is that if someone that’s 18 years old… so 40 years younger… seems that’s too much for the women I’ve been in LTR with. The beginning is great then it fizzles after time passes. Sex has always been awesome, but my drive is way higher than any of my partners. This is what brought me to this site… hopefully I’ll resolve this issue. Cheeky hit something there though. The more you do it the more you want it. Stop doing it… well as they say.. use it or lose it

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
For me my sex drive is always high. It’s as important as the air to breath for me. Unfortunately finding anyone with a drive as high that can withstand a day of it and then wanting it three times a day seems a bit much for anyone I’ve ever been with. Don’t know why it’s that high other then I enjoy sex, the act of it, the feeling and making a partner be way over stimulated during. But I’ve been told I’m the weird one because I’m not normal so there is that.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
Sex is quite objective really and the arousal and ergo the desire for sex tends to be a mental stimulation or psychological of which there are many catalysts and vice versa. It's such a wide ranging topic with a no size fits all (oooerrr) type of solution that satisfies everyone. I imagine that being in a relationship of polar opposites would cause some issues unless circumstances dictated otherwise.
  • 3 weeks later...

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
My medications influence mine as well. The ones that I need most tend to drive the libido into the ground. But meeting with my doc this week to find a better solution because I crave my sex and orgasmic experiences, meds be damned. None are life sustaining so may even have to leave "normalcy" behind to get my 💦 back
  • 4 weeks later...
Re****

Re****

Posted
I am a 64 year old woman who has a sex drive of a 20 year old! I need Sex everyday 5x a day! I need 7 lovers for 7 days a week
JourSans

JourSans

Posted
6 hours ago, Real5819 said:

I am a 64 year old woman who has a sex drive of a 20 year old! I need Sex everyday 5x a day! I need 7 lovers for 7 days a week

If you don't mind me asking had your sex drive always been that high ?   Do you manage to satisfy it?

Re****

Re****

Posted
Since I moved to Florida, 2 years ago it’s totally overboard! I need Sex, like you need air to breathe and function!
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