Cheating... training

[Hi****]

So I would like to have an online d/s but I don't know how to stop feeling like I would be cheating. Yes I love my husband and yes he is sorta dominant but I need more. I really don't know how to tell him that I want more without hurting his feelings.. please help if you can TIA

[no****]

feel the same way on the other end of the d/s spectrum, i wish you the best of luck

[Deleted Member]

If you need more you should just tell him, maybe he is holding back too. Maybe not but he might be ok with you having an online thing. If neither of those happens at least you will have some clarity on what you need to do.

[Je****]

13 minutes ago, HisSubby1987 said:

So I would like to have an online d/s but I don't know how to stop feeling like I would be cheating. Yes I love my husband and yes he is sorta dominant but I need more. I really don't know how to tell him that I want more without hurting his feelings.. please help if you can TIA

Just bring it up. He might be open to the idea or compromise.  Worth a try, he might surprise you. 

Only way you'd be cheating is if you're doing it already behind his back which isn't ok and you'd need to come clean about or it would eat you up, but a fresh approach on an idea, may be the successful one 😉 

[GreyHog]

Maybe if he's sorta dom he might enjoy being a cuck and watch you with a full dom, then dom you after

[da****]

It will hurt you and your husband if you hide your needs and do online D/s without consent. If you’re hiding an online relationship or an IRL relationship then it’s cheating. If you express your need for more and he is unable to provide it, then you should see if he is ok with you having a relationship outside of the marriage (again virtual or IRL doesn’t matter). If he is unwilling to support your needs then you need to evaluate if you are willing to sacrifice your needs for his. If not then you need to come to terms with you having an affair and that you are willing to risk the consequences when (not if) he finds out.

In the poly/ENM world- it’s not cheating if everyone knows upfront what is going on.

[Je****]

1 minute ago, dallas809 said:

It will hurt you and your husband if you hide your needs and do online D/s without consent. If you’re hiding an online relationship or an IRL relationship then it’s cheating. If you express your need for more and he is unable to provide it, then you should see if he is ok with you having a relationship outside of the marriage (again virtual or IRL doesn’t matter). If he is unwilling to support your needs then you need to evaluate if you are willing to sacrifice your needs for his. If not then you need to come to terms with you having an affair and that you are willing to risk the consequences when (not if) he finds out.

In the poly/ENM world- it’s not cheating if everyone knows upfront what is going on.

I agree.

[Sh****]

Having an online affair is still having an affair

[ey****]

without wanting to sound judgemental

it feels like cheating because it IS cheating

your starting point needs to be conversing with your husband to try to work out a route to improve your satisfaction

if you're worried about how saying something will hurt his feelings; he'll be more hurt when he discovers you're cheating online

[Sh****]

Communication is everything in the lifestyle whether it’s swinging or polyamory or ENM

[Hatter2904]

Talk to him about it.
I mean question I have is “how does the cheating make you feel.”
If you find you’re getting a buzz of it then tell him that this is what you need. You can’t tell him loads of details because it kills the buzz and he’s not to bring it up for the same reasons.
If it’s making you feel bad then again, tell him you need more, but explain you’ll be open with him every step of the way so it doesn’t feel like cheating if he knows every part of it.

[LustAndLogic]

In my case, I did suggest to my wife to open up our relationship and give each other the liberty to have casual encounters with others from time to time. At first she seemed open to the idea but in the end she didn't agree with my proposal. However, I decided to do it anyway without her consent. Yes, it is cheating and yes I have to look at myself in the mirror every morning knowing that I am a cheater. There is no way to sugarcoat it, even if cheating has become a kink of its own for me. In any case, I believe you should at least try discussing it with your husband first, maybe he is open to the idea of you having an online d/s.

[Hi****]

So I don't want to have sex with someone else he the only one that I want have set with but I want the emotional aspect of a d/s and possibly to upgrade to a IRL d/s without the sex I feel like I'm contradicting myself by saying it.. and no cheating doesn't give me a buzz i feel horrible about it... I can't explain it I need help to put it in words.. I don't wanna make him feel like he's not enough for me and in a way he's not but also he is enough... I'm so f'ed in the head right now.. 

[Sh****]

Emotional affairs count as affairs

[Sh****]

And honestly do think one person can fulfill everything that you need is unrealistic

[ItsSusan]

Hubby must know. Mine same but we open talk he become ok. Now actual turn on him see me after I visit Dom

 

[Am****]

Sorry I didn’t read all the comment but have you told her what you need more of? Lots of woman are like my man doesn’t do this but they haven’t told him what you need or feel or are missing. Just be straight forward honest and respectful. Their no harm in saying what would make your relationship marriage better.

[ey****]

many folk would consider it cheating even if it was "emotional only"

but when it boils to it; some folk try to convince themselves they're doing nothing wrong; I guess at it's simplest is that if you feel there's nothing wrong with doing this, then there's no reason not to tell your partner

some folk have of course told partners and not got a response they hoped for - and, at that point, there are multiple ways to proceed - and some choose to cheat.

some folk are afraid to tell their partners in case they don't get a response they hope for and there's serious kind of communication flaws to be worked on there before embarking on any form of D/s anyway

 

[polycouple_69]

You can find a video with the level of intensity you like, send it to him with a cute note,pledging yourself self and surrendering to him - in the note describe what you like as if your watching it in real time….ask him to discuss it you (make it a game) Give him the time on the screen certain things happen and make sure he know without question what he is looking at - boundaries / limits - make it sexy, make it a journey - take it together - tell what you want from him as his sub, he should understand that by doing this for you it adds to your pleasure, togetherness and closeness in intimacy as well as sexploration

[polycouple_69]

7 minutes ago, polycouple_69 said:

You can find a video with the level of intensity you like, send it to him with a cute note,pledging yourself self and surrendering to him - in the note describe what you like as if your watching it in real time….ask him to discuss it you (make it a game) Give him the time on the screen certain things happen and make sure he know without question what he is looking at - boundaries / limits - make it sexy, make it a journey - take it together - tell what you want from him as his sub, he should understand that by doing this for you it adds to your pleasure, togetherness and closeness in intimacy as well as sexploration

Before you invest in someone else on line - invest in him, take time to share , go to an on premise club, a dungeon in your area or while on vacation, take stigmas away- sometimes “social norms” restrict us from being sexually free , because of fear of ramifications or rejections - your sexual life is a game of truth or dare until you are completely open and 100% honest and even In a long relationship truths and fantasies go unspoken between partners - available to chat privately if you wish- stay sexy, be open, have fun , but do it together

[d3****]

Just tell him it will be a much easier conversation then him finding out you are doing something behind his back I’m sure thats not a conversation you would want to have and i can tell you that most times if not all times the husband ore wife always finds out

[d3****]

And yes forming an emotional connection with another person while in a relationship is cheating no matter what way you look at it and some people have said that forming an emotional connection with someone was 10 times worse then a physical one it takes time to form an emotional connection it takes a few minutes to get naked with someone but it all depends on what you can push away and the secrets you can keep

[Curioussub-8028]

From experience honesty and straight forward communication hurts way less than doing anything behind his back to some people emotional cheating is worse than anything physical communicate your wants and needs with your partner first before investing in someone online :)

[QXX666]

Asking us wont help you tbh. Only you can make the decision and peoples opinion can only make you feel worse.
1/ you keep it for yourself and if he find out your relationship might get damaged
2/ you tell him and he will feel like he will never trust you and your relationship will suffer
3/ you tell him and he’s ok with it. Hopefully it will be that scenario
You know him so make that decision based on your guts.
There are many test to see if he’s open for the game, search online and pick the ones that correspond to your situation

[Deleted Member]

Next time in bed look him directly in the eyes and say: is that all you got pussyboii ?!