Ju**** Posted August 29, 2023 Kink Shaming | You're too Old, Fat or Tall for Your Kinks | Fetish.com I browsed this article on the magazine bit I think it was. About how someone is making comments about people being too old, fat or tall for Little Play. The article, I get what it's trying to say. But is it kink shaming? They are not degrading the kink, they are degrading the persons ability to do the kink based off their age/height/appearance. It reads more as body shaming. Age shaming. For instance, I see kink shaming as "XYZ is gross and makes me feel sick, why would anyone do that "insert vomit emoji". But someone telling me, oh you can't partake in shibari play because you're too fat, it won't look good enough, is shaming me, in my skin and for my weight. Does this make sense? Good article but I think perhaps the wrong label or idea of kink shaming? If I am mistaken I'd love some examples to educate me to understand
Ke**** Posted August 30, 2023 Yeah that's definitely more body/height/age shaming then kink shaming as you said kink shaming is more like "feet are gross why would anyone want to worship them?" *Insert vomit emoji* but that isn't kink shaming it's just straight up saying "I don't like old/tall/fat people for this kinda play."
MisterSandman Posted August 30, 2023 You don’t have to look the part to play it.  If somebody is shaming, based on anything regarding the appearance of the other., they should not be in this game
MisterSandman Posted August 30, 2023 Because what they’re saying is they actually don’t like you physically
TheBookCollector Posted August 30, 2023 I would agree its more body/age/height/disability shaming rather than kink shaming. . The exception may be telling someone who is.size 14+ they cant do suspensions, as you are kink shaming as well as body shaming. But its an edge case. . Some ***r ropes use larger models, ive seen a 20st man suspended, and most of my bunnies have been size 14+ (largest was size 18). There was a body positive thing on FL several years ago where larger models where suspended, i remember seeing a person in a wheelchair being suspended so its possible if youre willing and able. . Kink shaming is stating that your kink is not.appropriate, eg those that have racial M/s kink dynamics, or prefer large (20+year) age gaps, WW2 military uniforms (esp. German NAZI) .
Charms Posted August 30, 2023 24 minutes ago, TheBookCollector said: I would agree its more body/age/height/disability shaming rather than kink shaming. . The exception may be telling someone who is.size 14+ they cant do suspensions, as you are kink shaming as well as body shaming. But its an edge case. . Some ***r ropes use larger models, ive seen a 20st man suspended, and most of my bunnies have been size 14+ (largest was size 18). There was a body positive thing on FL several years ago where larger models where suspended, i remember seeing a person in a wheelchair being suspended so its possible if youre willing and able. . Kink shaming is stating that your kink is not.appropriate, eg those that have racial M/s kink dynamics, or prefer large (20+year) age gaps, WW2 military uniforms (esp. German NAZI) . I love that a person in a wheel chair was suspended. Disabled people get so much hate. Kink people are most awesome. There's a guy in a wheelchair who uses the dungeon I ues. I'm disabled as well an seen other disabled people there we don't judge. But what I don't like is people on purposely making themselves disabled. Saw a documentary were a woman made herself blind on purpose
He**** Posted August 30, 2023 No Jen I agree in your viewpoint. It is shaming the person not the kink, and that is really like a personal attack, and possibly worse?
Charms Posted August 30, 2023 28 minutes ago, TheBookCollector said: I would agree its more body/age/height/disability shaming rather than kink shaming. . The exception may be telling someone who is.size 14+ they cant do suspensions, as you are kink shaming as well as body shaming. But its an edge case. . Some ***r ropes use larger models, ive seen a 20st man suspended, and most of my bunnies have been size 14+ (largest was size 18). There was a body positive thing on FL several years ago where larger models where suspended, i remember seeing a person in a wheelchair being suspended so its possible if youre willing and able. . Kink shaming is stating that your kink is not.appropriate, eg those that have racial M/s kink dynamics, or prefer large (20+year) age gaps, WW2 military uniforms (esp. German NAZI) . I love that a person in a wheel chair was suspended. Disabled people get so much hate. Kink people are most awesome. There's a guy in a wheelchair who uses the dungeon I ues. I'm disabled as well an seen other disabled people there we don't judge. But what I don't like is people on purposely making themselves disabled. Saw a documentary were a woman made herself blind on purpose
Ju**** Posted August 30, 2023 Author I don't know. I just read it and was like... where is the kink being shamed? More and more bits I was just seeing the persons body or shape being an excuse for soemthing. Body shaming is very ripe in this world. And it just shouldn't be. And to me, within the article saying this stuff is kink shaming, I feel was shadowing that it's body shaming. I don't know if I am reading wrong. Neither body nor kink shaming is ok. Keeps happening sadly. And yes someone saying your kink us wrong, rotten, disgusting, inappropriate or makes someone feel sick... is a big no no. If its not for you keep your gob shut. If you wanna tell someone they can't do a kink or activity because of their height, looks, weight or anything else, you best make sure you are PERFECT in all these areas (which doesn't exist) before commenting about someone else's body and its abilities.
Deviant_dad74 Posted August 30, 2023 I agree Jen. This site used to be for Kinky fuckees into all sorts of filthy fun. So we could chat openly and form friendships or even relationships. The main rules were be nice and no judgement. X
QXX666 Posted August 30, 2023 Technically not… as your question is not a technical question either 🤷♂️😂
Mistress-Moon Posted August 30, 2023 This doesn't really strike me as kink shaming so much as people generally being assholes. Hassling someone over being interested in a particular kink such as age play is an example of kink shaming.
Deleted Member Posted August 30, 2023 Sounds to me, like they are 2 different categories but the same concept. Why would unconsentual shaming be okay in any given area?! Whether kink or individual, "mind ya business".
Ri**** Posted August 30, 2023 Written like kinks are purely a visual thing. I'm 100% sure some of my kinks don't make me look to be very attractive but the feelings more than make up for that. Kink shaming is only an issue if you give a crap about what people think so dont give a crap 🙂
tr**** Posted August 30, 2023 It just society being weird I feel like I have the same problem  in life
Deleted Member Posted August 30, 2023 In my mind that’s worse. Someone saying specific acts are gross is one thing, but to say a specific person is gross, not because of their kink but just because their fat or whatever isn’t nice
TheBookCollector Posted August 30, 2023 5 hours ago, Hels1920 said: No Jen I agree in your viewpoint. It is shaming the person not the kink, and that is really like a personal attack, and possibly worse? Sadly thats modern life, if you dont loom like a magazine model or love island contestant you rarely get anywhere, especially online where looks matter more than kinks. . In person you can at least let your personality show, unless youre an introvert, unless someone engages.
He**** Posted August 30, 2023 2 hours ago, TheBookCollector said: Sadly thats modern life, if you dont loom like a magazine model or love island contestant you rarely get anywhere, especially online where looks matter more than kinks. . In person you can at least let your personality show, unless youre an introvert, unless someone engages. I don't look like a model, I do okay. 2 hours ago, TheBookCollector said: Sadly thats modern life, if you dont loom like a magazine model or love island contestant you rarely get anywhere, especially online where looks matter more than kinks. . In person you can at least let your personality show, unless youre an introvert, unless someone engages. I don't look like a model, I do okay.
Deleted Member Posted August 30, 2023 I don't like it, but it's the way the world runs, especially social media making it worse. Trying to think positive, it does filter out the ones that was not meant to be. Do we really want to be with a person who does not appreciate the beauty of our stretch marks and cellulite.
Chloebear Posted August 30, 2023 I suppose because you are being told you cannot have that kink because of your appearance… it’s not kink shaming exactly but it is ignorance about the kink. People can be pretty ignorant about littles, expecting them to all look a certain way would display that ignorance about the kink specifically. If they were not seeking those attributes in a person, that’s their taste. If they berate a person for having those attributes, I’d say it moves to body shaming. That said, it could well make someone feel ashamed for having that kink if they encountered ignorant opinions around it, such as you can’t have that kink because of how you look. That feeling is close enough to saying the kink is wrong in my opinion, so I can see the parallel.
Us**** Posted August 31, 2023 I think it would lean more towards body shaming than kink shaming. Shaming someone for what they like would be kink shaming, but shaming someone for how they look participating in said activity would be body shaming. I am vehemently against judging anyone for their apearence and their personal prefrences. A good example would be take a foot kink for example. Someone saying "feet are absolutely disgusting anyone who could possibly find them attractive they are just gross." That would be kink shaming as they are soeaking against the idea of someone finding it apealing. If someone were to say "Your feet are disgusting how could you possibly engage in foot play." Would be body shaming as they are not expressing negativity toward but the individuals participation in it. When someone is against the action that would be shaming the kink. When someone is against an individual participating in said kink that would be shaming the individual and not the action and fall under body shaming. Its essentially saying "You do not fit the picture I have in my head of the type of person that I would find pleasing to participate in this." They arent speaking out against the action but are against the individual. Alot of time these are coupled togther sadly so its hard to distinguish between the shaming towards the person and the action itself.
Deleted Member Posted April 19, 2024 August 31, 2023, Usa2UK said: I think it would lean more towards body shaming than kink shaming. Shaming someone for what they like would be kink shaming, but shaming someone for how they look participating in said activity would be body shaming. I am vehemently against judging anyone for their apearence and their personal prefrences. A good example would be take a foot kink for example. Someone saying "feet are absolutely disgusting anyone who could possibly find them attractive they are just gross." That would be kink shaming as they are soeaking against the idea of someone finding it apealing. If someone were to say "Your feet are disgusting how could you possibly engage in foot play." Would be body shaming as they are not expressing negativity toward but the individuals participation in it. When someone is against the action that would be shaming the kink. When someone is against an individual participating in said kink that would be shaming the individual and not the action and fall under body shaming. Its essentially saying "You do not fit the picture I have in my head of the type of person that I would find pleasing to participate in this." They arent speaking out against the action but are against the individual. Alot of time these are coupled togther sadly so its hard to distinguish between the shaming towards the person and the action itself. Well I see you have an opinion that i see that it’s not just shaming but bashing of what another person loves to do, I bet if I go on your profile there might be something that I don’t like and talk down on you! What you have done is wrong and they deserve an apology, and if you can’t send an apology then you should post it on your profile. But as of I love sucking on toes as well, and it’s something that you wouldn’t know how to make a woman feel good!
Us**** Posted April 19, 2024 13 minutes ago, facetonthehunt88499 said: Well I see you have an opinion that i see that it’s not just shaming but bashing of what another person loves to do, I bet if I go on your profile there might be something that I don’t like and talk down on you! What you have done is wrong and they deserve an apology, and if you can’t send an apology then you should post it on your profile. But as of I love sucking on toes as well, and it’s something that you wouldn’t know how to make a woman feel good! How is anything I said even remotely connected to anything you said? I have no idea how to even respond to this. Not sure if you are replying to the right person or not, but this comes off as an ad hominem attack for someone responding to a question of opinion and personal view. Which seems bizarre to me. Especially 8 months after the response has been given.
Deleted Member Posted April 19, 2024 10 minutes ago, Usa2UK said: How is anything I said even remotely connected to anything you said? I have no idea how to even respond to this. Not sure if you are replying to the right person or not, but this comes off as an ad hominem attack for someone responding to a question of opinion and personal view. Which seems bizarre to me. Especially 8 months after the response has been given. Have your partner help you out. If you don’t want anyone commenting on what you have typed Down 10 years ago then delete it! But you’re arrogant towards other people’s kink, I’ve seen your profile, and I’m not the type to talk down on anyone but if this would of been a different app, then I would of hurt your feelings! If you think something is disgusting, talk about it with your significant other, but besides that. Keep your ridiculous opinions to yourself.
Chloebear Posted April 19, 2024 50 minutes ago, facetonthehunt88499 said: Well I see you have an opinion that i see that it’s not just shaming but bashing of what another person loves to do, I bet if I go on your profile there might be something that I don’t like and talk down on you! What you have done is wrong and they deserve an apology, and if you can’t send an apology then you should post it on your profile. But as of I love sucking on toes as well, and it’s something that you wouldn’t know how to make a woman feel good! I think you need to read the posters comment again, you seem to have misunderstood.
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