blocking etc

[Ky****]

8 hours ago, DaFetts said:

Ghosting implies youve opened communication prior. In that case its a rude and uncivil practice that clearly illustrates how little respect women have for men. Sub or dom

the problem is that ppl are expecting replies v quickly, for all kinds of reasons we can't be on here all the time or even monitor replies/messages, so when someone sends a few things then blocks its annoying, its not ghosting if you aren't online to reply

[Le****]

Oh don't even get me started on vip/premium message monitoring. I have been told how come I messaged today and didn't reply to them yet 😂😂

[Ky****]

3 minutes ago, Lecs said:

Oh don't even get me started on vip/premium message monitoring. I have been told how come I messaged today and didn't reply to them yet 😂😂

that doesn't sound good although I'm not sure exactly what you mean can u explain a bit please?

[Le****]

2 minutes ago, Kymi said:

that doesn't sound good although I'm not sure exactly what you mean can u explain a bit please?

If you are vip or premium (don't know which or both?) you can see the messages a iser has sent and received either all time numbers or that specific day that you are looking at their profile. So if you are 'monitoring' someone you can see they have sent 18 messages today, just not to you. I have NO idea why this platform allows for that and it is one of the things I really don't understand about it.

[Ky****]

2 minutes ago, Lecs said:

If you are vip or premium (don't know which or both?) you can see the messages a iser has sent and received either all time numbers or that specific day that you are looking at their profile. So if you are 'monitoring' someone you can see they have sent 18 messages today, just not to you. I have NO idea why this platform allows for that and it is one of the things I really don't understand about it.

ah, its probably so ppl can see if its worth sending a message

[ey****]

2 minutes ago, Lecs said:

So if you are 'monitoring' someone you can see they have sent 18 messages today, just not to you. I have NO idea why this platform allows for that and it is one of the things I really don't understand about it.

one of the things I know some ladies do is they look at that stat when they receive a message.  

If the person has sent vastly more messages than they've received and/or have sent out a lot in a short space of time (especially without reply) then it's felt they've been mass messaging and that's often a turn off
 

Somewhat bizarrely - mine is sat at received 4205, sent 2305 - so I've received over 2000 more messages than I've sent.  Even though this is over a, what, 5 year period it feels nuts different (though there is someone who I chat with who has a habit of sending 4-5 messages at once, and I reply to all 4/5 together) I rarely get scammers, but I simply don't engage with them

But cos of this I rarely send out a first message and that shows in there.    

[Th****]

5 hours ago, Kymi said:

the problem is that ppl are expecting replies v quickly, for all kinds of reasons we can't be on here all the time or even monitor replies/messages, so when someone sends a few things then blocks its annoying, its not ghosting if you aren't online to reply

It's particularly silly, nonsensical, whatever adjective you prefer to use, when you've specifically mentioned at least in your profile if not also in actual conversation that you have a tendency to dip suddenly mid chat or have varied response times in order to mitigate other people's potential frustration or confusion and they *still* get their feelings in a way over it. 

[Deleted Member]

September 4, DaFetts said:

Women are the ones most guilty of it. Face it, for most of time men have pandered to women. We value them. 90% of guys arent ghosting like that. Id say thats not a number women could come close to. I dont give a shit about any implied sexual cobtext, Im talking about human beings being civil to each other. It seems a lost art. Isnt kink supposed to be about connection?, how does one achieve that without communication. And I do take offense at the bastardisation of the term "nice guy".. I like to think of myself as a nice guy, and thats not with pejorative intent. Facts is facts. PC bullshit just avoids responsibility.

Unless you are in a true form of relationship you are owed nothing. Anyone on an app like this is absolutely within basic human rights to decide they no longer feel the need to put energy into a conversation with another person. You are dm’ing someone on a kink site and not getting a response; you aren’t getting left at the alter. Put it in perspective.

[ey****]

On 9/4/2023 at 7:41 AM, DaFetts said:

We value them. 90% of guys arent ghosting like that. Id say thats not a number women could come close to.

the thing is - you have no way of knowing this.  it's numbers you've plucked from thin air.   Aside from ghosting being a misused term... conversations halt, end, pause and can do for a number of reasons by either party.   Whether it's disinterest and it never seeming a good time to say "I'm not really interested in continuing this" but whether one person is busy, personal life, etc.  when a last comment wasn't conversational, two people say "see you later" but neither goes "back again" - and so much of this is just how things fizzle and, yeah, guys do this whether they realise or not. Whether they admit or not. 

[Al****]

Upshot is - don’t expect anything from anyone. Just keep treating others as you’d like to be treated. There are some out there who will treat you nicely and who won’t judge you on a few words. Be patient, it’s a nice surprise when you do get treated like a human being.

[Ky****]

2 hours ago, Alexkid said:

Upshot is - don’t expect anything from anyone. Just keep treating others as you’d like to be treated. There are some out there who will treat you nicely and who won’t judge you on a few words. Be patient, it’s a nice surprise when you do get treated like a human being.

yes and isnt it unfortunate that we agree as to it being a nice surprise to be treated like a human being

[Al****]

Yes it is. Well I’ll always treat you like a human being Kymi.