Advice needed

[Mangotout]

So myself and my husband have been married for a few years now. We both have a varied taste when it comes to sex. 

The advice I seek is on ***. My husband is in to cbt big time which was a little strange for me to get used to but I'm finally getting there. I still find it hard to purposely hurt him sometimes. It's not something that come naturally as I have low self confidence but I'm taking the opportunity to release my anger on him haha.

He has said about cuckolding which is fine with me as I enjoy 3sums etc but with the cbt he wants to be humiliated. I'm at a loss of where to start. I can't stand being horrible to people. Its hard for me to get into the mind set and be mean. Can anyone suggest where to start. He wants to be 100% dominated. Like with the cbt I think maybe I would find it easer if it was a routine /plan to the sessions?? No idea. Please help! 

[TDH-7746]

It's not about being mean and horrible it's about satisfying a need. You could use cbt  as a means of punishment when he upsets you. 

[MadameZ]

What I would actually say is: Tops have limits too. if you find the idea of doing this particular thing upsetting, it oesn't make you a bad person or a bad partner if you say you don't wwant to do it. Remember kink is supposed to be enjoyable (or rewarding) for everyone.

[sl****]

If you want to do CBT that he can limit so you don't feel bad have you tried a humbler bar. It clamps over the balls with the bar running behind both thighs. If you remain squatted down it just pulls your balls tightly down. As you try to stand it effectively pulls more and more as you straighten up. You can then make him do tasks or follow orders and it is then up to him how far he stands etc and how much he fights against the bar and basically applies his own ***. I have worn one and it was amazing for me.

Edited November 19, 2017 by sleazykink
Typo

[Deleted Member]

With actual CBT, my laziest move is a simple finger-flick to the balls. One to each testicle can be very, uh, stimulating.

*** is tricky, because what’s humiliating to one person is just dumb-silly to another, good fun to yet someone else, and absolutely degrading to a different person. You have to know your target to hit the sweet spot that is erotic ***.

Some guys HATE being called “cute”, and are absolutely miffed if their penises are referred to with diminutive nicknames. So, patting him on the head and saying “How’s my lil’ cutie?” and then looking down and saying, “How’s my lil’ Engine that Could?” may hit the right spot, or may fall flat.

Decorative ribbons in pastel colors for his genitals? Maybe hanging little tinkling bells or chimes from it so he develops a musical walk?

Oh, there are guides that you can place on his public mound to trim his pubic hair into specific shapes: hearts, a landing strip, a clover, a star, etc. You might even be able to dye the hair a charming color - maybe something seasonal?

Do you knit? If not, you may be able to find (itchy) wool cock and ball cozies online. And yes, seriously, these are a thing. They look ridiculous, hence some potential ***. CBT and potential *** in one!

You know him better than most, I suspect. There are levels of taking someone down - the trick is knowing whether you can build them back up afterwards pretty quickly on your own. If you’re not sure, leave that idea for later.

[Deleted Member]

On 11/19/2017 at 12:17 AM, sleazykink said:

If you want to do CBT that he can limit so you don't feel bad have you tried a humbler bar. It clamps over the balls with the bar running behind both thighs. If you remain squatted down it just pulls your balls tightly down. As you try to stand it effectively pulls more and more as you straighten up. You can then make him do tasks or follow orders and it is then up to him how far he stands etc and how much he fights against the bar and basically applies his own ***. I have worn one and it was amazing for me.

This sounds amazing 

[Deleted Member]

I don’t think CBT needs to be done with you being mean or necessarily just when you are angry. You can provide CBT whilst still being caring, being too nice sometimes is more intimidating than being upfront angry. You can take pleasure in still applying some CBT, you could even make him roll a dice with each number representing what he must do, that way you don’t need to have a guilty conscience if it’s the dice’s fault. Aftercare also is important and allows you to be loving etc..