BDSM & CPTSD: Introduction

[kree90]

Disclaimer:

Please keep in mind that I only have a Bachelor's Degree right now (only lol), so everything related to this series comes from my own extensive research, therapy, discussions with mental health professionals, and personal lived experience. That being said, I am not a medical provider. I very much intend to further my education to achieve a mental health professional status. 

Most of the following will be about a female with CPTSD and submissive. It can be similar for anyone, with either letter, or no letter at all.

 

___

 

No doubt you’ve heard of PTSD-Post traumatic stress disorder. We see this in soldiers and people who have experienced horrific events. You think of flashbacks, outbursts, and poor emotional regulation. Soldiers returning from war differed from the day they left. 

 

You can develop PTSD several times in your life, from separate events. Witnessing anything horrific will naturally affect you, especially if you’re in no position to help yourself, or others, or to stop it.

 

Some common symptoms of PTSD are:

*Reliving the event well after it is over

*Heightened states of arousal (not *that* kind)

*An array of emotions and physical reactions (like panic attacks)

*Unwanted thoughts

*Struggling with feeling safe

*Agitation, irritation, short temper

*Depression

 

In the early 90s, they introduced a new type of PTSD, adding a C in front of it. CPTSD stands for Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It comes from being chronically in danger and unsafe growing up. The primary caregivers could be the cause, of *** in the community, being trafficked, or growing up during wartime. 

 

In order to be diagnosed, you must also meet the requirements for PTSD *and* the three additional symptoms: interpersonal problems, self-worth issues, and difficulty staying regulated emotionally. (Not my rule). CPTSD has been shown to take longer to treat, but just like PTSD, you *can* heal. CPTSD is a form of structured brain wiring. It affects our core beliefs because of the schemata built over time that were developed through a lens of *** and shame and ***ness. Chronic mistreatment affects our very brain chemistry.

 

But, neuroplasticity and all (we have the ability to change what we believe and think over time).

 

So, what does this have to do with BDSM? Nothing, and yet everything.

 

What are some of the biggest elements of BDSM? Safety. Trust. To me, allowing someone to tie me up is the biggest sign of trust and safety. I trust my safety with you enough to tie me up. I give you the one thing I have been fighting my whole life to obtain: control of me, in the most intimate and *** ways.

 

It’s terrifying, yet I crave that feeling. Because I’m human, and I want the same things as everyone else. Love, trust, respect, an unshakable foundation to build on.

 

Despite my trust and basic human rights being violated every day growing up, it’s still a natural human instinct to want connection and love. It does become difficult when you realize a core wound is a general distrust of people.

 

I have felt the safest in my life in my Dominant’s arms. When that connection gets cultivated and cared for… My mind witnessed for the very first time that quietness that I’d only heard about. I didn’t get that from vanilla boyfriends. I’ll go more into why BDSM helps my healing, such as how impact play gives *me* control of the *** being inflicted on me. It’s the***utic to enjoy it rather than be afraid of it.

 

I’m well on my journey to healing my CPTSD. In fact, I’m using current energy from a recent action that very much triggered my CPTSD to write this, taking control over my life and my reactions. *This* reaction wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for all the steps I’ve taken. Like my Autism and BDSM posts, my hope is that I can fast forward your healing a bit, too, and just help you love yourself. We’re here to make a difference and enjoy our lives, so even though you don’t need it, I’m giving you permission to start.  

 

What does this have to do with BDSM? 

 

Nothing, and yet everything.

[gi****]

Thank you, kree90 for sharing this. I agree that safety, consent, care and aftercare, safe words, impact play, consensual ***, etc. can allow a sense of connection and intimacy that many us missed during our upbringing (and some experienced the traumatic events that you described). As someone who is also neurodivergent, I've found community in this lifestyle that often felt denied to me otherwise. Thank you

[Ne****]

Thank You. Thank you for putting into words what I struggle to explain to others and often want and need others to understand and respect as well as learn how to handle about Me.
I wish you well on your healing journey and in your academic endeavors.
❤️‍🔥

[hiddenvixen]

This is why I really want to try shibari rope bondage I think it would be really healing

[gi****]

Just now, hiddenvixen said:

This is why I really want to try shibari rope bondage I think it would be really healing

I've recently been studying Shibari, and I am so intrigued by its focus on safety, connection, and intimacy. I think it has tremendous possibilities.

[kree90]

2 minutes ago, hiddenvixen said:

This is why I really want to try shibari rope bondage I think it would be really healing

To be honest, even the word "Shibari" is soothing to my soul lol

[Deleted Member]

I love this post. I admire your bravery and authenticity. Every day I think about hue trauma affects our choices and how that can go very good or very bad in any community. Yet, in BDSM, everything is heightened: the stimuli, the pleasure, the risk, etc. a perfect place fur healing…,, or is it?

[PantyhoseSissy]

Good Evening Ma'am, May I Please have Your Permission to Confess immediately in *** Before You ?May I Please Present myself Before You in *** as I will Video Record as I will Slip into these Panties Bra and Skirt imagining that You are My Dominatrix Mistress. I Fantasize that You Order me to Pull my Panties Half Down to present my little tiny Useless Pathetic Sissy Fagot Clit for You to Inspect and Laugh at.May I untuck my little Pathetic Sissy Clit from between my Legs and Touch myself as I look at these Magazines under Your Supervision Mistress ?Good Evening Ma'am, May I Please have Your Permission to Confess immediately in *** Before You ?May I Please Present myself Before You in *** as I will Video Record as I will Slip into these Panties Bra and Skirt imagining that You are My Dominatrix Mistress. I Fantasize that You Order me to Pull my Panties Half Down to present my little tiny Useless Pathetic Sissy Fagot Clit for You to Inspect and Laugh at.May I untuck my little Pathetic Sissy Clit from between my Legs and Touch myself as I look at these Magazines under Your Supervision Mistress ?May I Please Present myself Before You in *** as I will Video Record as I will Slip into these Panties Bra and Skirt imagining that You are My Dominatrix Mistress. I Fantasize that You Order me to Pull my Panties Half Down to present my little tiny Useless Pathetic Sissy Fagot Clit for You to Inspect and Laugh at.Good Evening Ma'am, May I Please have Your Permission to Confess immediately in *** Before You ?Good Evening Ma'am, May I Please have Your Permission to Confess immediately in *** Before You ?May I Please Present myself Before You in *** as I will Video Record as I will Slip into these Panties Bra and Skirt imagining that You are My Dominatrix Mistress. I Fantasize that You Order me to Pull my Panties Half Down to present my little tiny Useless Pathetic Sissy Fagot Clit for You to Inspect and Laugh at.May I untuck my little Pathetic Sissy Clit from between my Legs and Touch myself as I look at these Magazines under Your Supervision Mistress ?Good Evening Ma'am, May I Please have Your Permission to Confess immediately in *** Before YouGood Evening Ma'am, May I Please have Your Permission to Confess immediately in *** Before You ?May I Please Present myself Before You in *** as I will Video Record as I will Slip into these Panties Bra and Skirt imagining that You are My Dominatrix Mistress. I Fantasize that You Order me to Pull my Panties Half Down to present my little tiny Useless Pathetic Sissy Fagot Clit for You to Inspect and Laugh at.May I untuck my little Pathetic Sissy Clit from between my Legs and Touch myself as I look at these Magazines under Your Supervision Mistress ?May I Please Present myself Before You in *** as I will Video Record as I will Slip into these Panties Bra and Skirt imagining that You are My Dominatrix Mistress. I Fantasize that You Order me to Pull my Panties Half Down to present my little tiny Useless Pathetic Sissy Fagot Clit for You to Inspect and Laugh at.Good Evening Ma'am, May I Please have Your Permission to Confess immediately in *** Before You ?