Deleted Member Posted November 22, 2019 Posted November 22, 2019 (edited) This question is mostly aimed at Dominants, but that does not mean others cannot answer as well. As a possessive and controlling Dominant, combined with my trust issues, I dislike the idea of having my hands bound to the head-board of be bed by my Submissive. This act I do not consider to be the submission of a Dominant, since the Submissive is essentially doing her duty of pleasing her Master, by seducing him and playing with his body. I have mentioned before that there is a practically-limitless combination of likes and dislikes for any kinkster, so I am a Dominant who does not enjoy being bound, but I am sure there are Dominants who enjoy this kind of play. Wrists bound to a head-board, maybe blindfolded while the Submissive pleasures him. My question is therefore not "ARE there Dominants who enjoy it?", but rather why? As a control-freak, I can sort of understand the sexual appeal, but I could never allow it myself. Edited November 22, 2019 by Deleted Member
Deleted Member Posted November 23, 2019 Author Posted November 23, 2019 I was made into a dominant. Not born! I’m naturally a control freak too however I have in the past quite enjoyed being bound to a bed post and blindfold but in a trusting, if there is such a thing, relationship. That freedom of giving to another for your own pleasure is quite different from taking it. It frees you to enjoy and be enjoyed without having to act on your primal feeling. The control. I enjoyed it a few times but now much prefer to continue my control. I would never put myself in somebody else’s control.
ey**** Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 I'm more switch than a "Dominant who enjoys perceived submissive acts" (or vice versa) but within a scene or play I'd be highly unlikely to ask a sub to do something that perceivably alters the dynamic I think for a lot that do... they maybe are generally Dominants but just with the odd fantasy or like here or there of being on the other side. I guess see also the trope about the sub client who has a day job that is fairly Dominant so is a sub to give up the control expected of them.
Ve**** Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 I am the same. I haven't been tied for years. Even as somewhat of a switch. I prefer to be in control. I don't mind collaring and enjoy that but not full tie restraint.
Phoenyx Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 Definitely a tough question. There is no clear answer. Personally, as a dominant, I feel that it is my responsibility to occasionally submit. I need to mentally record every bit of the experience, every sensation, every emotion, every last detail, so that I better understand and empathize with what I do to others. For me, this is far from an easy task. First, I must make it clear, that this is a temporary arrangement. Any attempt to dominate me in the future, without my express consent, will raise my ire. I must also find it within my heart, to trust this lady to honor our agreement. The last dominatrix who did this favor for me, slipped and made demands a few days later. The results were ugly, and I apologize for that. To find my submissive place, I must relax and meditate deeply, almost to the point of a hypnotic state. There can be no distractions. I especially cannot have other people around, as outsiders will reactivate my dominance. This lady must also have a technique similar to my own. My style is based on seduction, not ***---getting subs to feel that they can no longer control themselves. If all goes well, I'll actually enjoy the experience. Nice to have someone else do the driving, for a change.
Titwork101 Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 Right? It's especially difficult when your new to this, & your kind of both, & don't want to be labeled.
Vandalslut Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 On 11/23/2019 at 11:44 AM, Aimil2019 said: however I have in the past quite enjoyed being bound to a bed post and blindfold but in a trusting, if there is such a thing, relationship. There is such a thing We've got a trusting relationship - 35 years on.... 3 hours ago, phoenyx said: The last dominatrix who did this favor for me, slipped and made demands Nothing worse than demands! Demands make me go the other way - at speed.
Deleted Member Posted November 24, 2019 Author Posted November 24, 2019 (edited) 9 hours ago, phoenyx said: make it clear, that this is a temporary arrangement Thank you, @phoenyx, this entire response has if anything opened my eyes. Most of it, as always; is obvious, yet still needs to be said out loud to trigger a conscious thought. The meditation is a good idea, as it would allow me to cage my base urges to dominate, and that way I might be able to enjoy my (hypothetical) Submissive's attempts to seduce; not dominate. Perhaps combining that with a wrist tie that I can instantly undo, this could be enjoyable. ... I think I may very well have another story idea. Thank you. Edited November 24, 2019 by Deleted Member
Deleted Member Posted November 24, 2019 Author Posted November 24, 2019 (edited) It’s an interesting and complex question. you open the psychology idea of that particular play. While I am not appeal by being tied up or even ever thought about it, you could of course still controlling your sub by being tied up. It’s a good test to see if she’s bratty type too 😈😂 Edited November 24, 2019 by Deleted Member
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