qu**** Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 How do pick up on things when youre unable to read body language, by this I don't mean just in a fetish/kink sense, but in a normal sense, many times now after the event people say she really fancied you, and I sit there thinking,Really? I never got that impression
sm**** Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 Can be a tough one to call, intuition mainly, there are the only cliche ones like, eye contact, hair stroking, and mimiking your own moves. It's tough as most can be misread as just friendly gestures and a lot of people are afraid to make the mistake and putting booth feet in it.
qu**** Posted December 9, 2019 Author Posted December 9, 2019 Well I've always viewed it as someone just being friendly, but at a later stage friends, male and female, point out it was more, always when it's to late I hasten to add
ey**** Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 everyone can be guilty of not picking up signals - but if you became aware after the effect you can always return to her.
Deleted Member Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 Touching is the giver. Someone just friendly would give you the signal not doing it. The lips are also another sign, so they watch your lips when you talk communications too, do they snap response or evasive? Their eyes look for hep in the room cross arms and legs but you need to be more direct if you like that person and get into cheeky mode
PixieDust Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 There is a book called "Body Language - How to read others' thoughts by their gestures" by Allan Pease. He is an Aussie author who specialises in Body Language, his books are available worldwide. Alternatively he has some YouTube clips available with some good information from a visual point of view.
Vandalslut Posted December 10, 2019 Posted December 10, 2019 15 hours ago, quietlysure said: How do pick up on things when youre unable to read body language, by this I don't mean just in a fetish/kink sense, but in a normal sense, many times now after the event people say she really fancied you, and I sit there thinking,Really? I never got that impression Comedian Billy Connolly said he had the same problem.
Phoenyx Posted December 10, 2019 Posted December 10, 2019 17 hours ago, quietlysure said: How do pick up on things when youre unable to read body language, by this I don't mean just in a fetish/kink sense, but in a normal sense, many times now after the event people say she really fancied you, and I sit there thinking,Really? I never got that impression I have found practice to be the best teacher. Oddly, the supermarket is a great place for this. As you shop, take casual glances at the other customers, and try to judge their mood---happy, stressed, bored, rushed, etc. But don't stare. That will corrupt the experiment, and draw attention to yourself. Just casual glances---mental snapshots. You can always go back for a second glance, if needed. The more practice, the more detail you will see. Checkout clerks make especially good subjects. The young, quiet ones will sometimes tell their whole life story, without ever saying a word. OK, so that's a bit of an exaggeration. Still, there is a lot to see. You can even test your assumptions. I do it all the time, to stay in practice. The other day, I noticed fatigue in the body language of a store clerk. So, I asked, "Long day?" Turned out I was right, and this led to a conversation. Simple questions and casual observations can help to give you confidence in your reading ability. Oh, and if she reaches out and touches you with a finger, go for it! The light finger touch is definitely a green light.
Vandalslut Posted December 10, 2019 Posted December 10, 2019 Yeah, definitely the supermarket. And check out what people have in their baskets, that tells you a shed-load. As in: whether they respect themselves or not; whether they live alone or with someone; are they insecure enough to keep checking out their phone constantly while in the queue...Or sit on a park bench on a nice day and people-watch. (Discreetly.) The best example I ever saw of VERY unmistakable body language was the day I came home with an art-fart friend who thought he'd been very sneakily subtle about his feelings for me. (I knew and had done for years, he hadn't kept it a secret from me; but Art-Fart thought the Vandal didn't know...Idiot, he was about as subtle as an A-bomb.) So, the Vandal, his burly work off-sider and one of his old outlaw club mates were relaxing after a solid day of hard manual labour; I bound in the door with Art-Fart and - this was the weird bit - all three of the Men (capital intentional) leant back in their seats, crossed their legs and folded their arms - as one. It looked like a rehearsed move - the big F*** Off, Sleaze. Art-Fart got the message (at least for that day - he did eventually stop being a pest.)
qu**** Posted December 10, 2019 Author Posted December 10, 2019 Tried most of those things, still haven't got a clue 🤪, that's why I'm online, still can't tell friendly from interested 🤪🤪
ca**** Posted December 10, 2019 Posted December 10, 2019 Are you able to ask them? Be open about it - ie bring it into the conversation - i am not great at picking up signals (as subtle as you like !!) ........ also at what point is it that you are discussing it after (the event!??? what event??) - how does that conversation manifest itself?
qu**** Posted December 10, 2019 Author Posted December 10, 2019 Would I be eternally single if I could approach someone? Just general nights out, and it's mentioned a day or two later when it's too late, and usually in a more micky taking way
ca**** Posted December 10, 2019 Posted December 10, 2019 So how are you approaching at present to be having these 'experiences' and the follow up communications.... seems you are making that first step (which is potentially the hardest??) but then not asking the 'right / direct' question? Or am i off the mark?
Phoenyx Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 I had a thought, of something you might want to look into. "Being stuck" (as I call it) is one of the most difficult problems to troubleshoot. Perhaps, the problem isn't that you're not receiving signals. Maybe, you're actually sending the wrong signals. If the lady leans toward you, or otherwise subtly closes the distance, do you react by backing away, to maintain the space? This is an instinctive reaction that you may not notice. Try to catch yourself doing that. Allow her to draw within range, where she can give a clearer message. Just a thought.
qu**** Posted December 13, 2019 Author Posted December 13, 2019 Quite simply I never have a clue about any of it 🤪
Phoenyx Posted December 14, 2019 Posted December 14, 2019 23 hours ago, quietlysure said: Quite simply I never have a clue about any of it You need to focus. You need to take conscious control of your reactions. Yes, such cognitive processing will cause awkward delays---maybe as much as one or two seconds. It may even do funky things to your body language. You will likely be sending mixed messages. But, a mixed message is still better than a negative one. Start with the suggestion that I mentioned above. Next time you're interacting with a lady, keep telling yourself, "Do not rear back...Do not rear back." Keep that thought in the forefront of your mind. You will catch yourself doing it. See the difference in the outcome. It may not be the total answer. But, you'll be one step closer. C'mon, you're 50 years old. You've done this before. I've seen your profile pic. Your body says shy and unsure. But, your eyes denote power and wisdom. You need to quit leaving that part of yourself stored in the basement. You need to bring it to the surface, for all to experience. Are you really going to look me in the eye, and say that you can't do this? Are you really going to stand in front of all of these people, and claim that you're too weak to take control? Are you going to just meekly crawl on your hands and knees, buck naked, as Life publicly flogs and humiliates you? Are you going to continue to be Life's lowest slave, to be whipped and degraded as seen fit? Or, are you going to stand up and say, "I can do this! I have the power!"
Deleted Member Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 On 12/9/2019 at 7:49 PM, smeagol said: Can be a tough one to call, intuition mainly, there are the only cliche ones like, eye contact, hair stroking, and mimiking your own moves. It's tough as most can be misread as just friendly gestures and a lot of people are afraid to make the mistake and putting booth feet in it. As this said it can be very tough to call. Communication is key. I will usually be very up front and ask politely if the other person is interested. On 12/9/2019 at 8:27 PM, FabSeverus said: Touching is the giver. Someone just friendly would give you the signal not doing it. The lips are also another sign, so they watch your lips when you talk communications too, do they snap response or evasive? Their eyes look for hep in the room cross arms and legs but you need to be more direct if you like that person and get into cheeky mode While for the female sex this advice is dead on. Woman tend to be very flirty and touch is their biggest give away that they are interested. Men tend to be a little harder to read when first meeting. Verbal cues are usually easier with men.
Deleted Member Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 I would thought men are easier to read 😂 usually they would smile more and their head tilt a bit as they already in move for a kiss. Also they would focused 90% on the women face and body, like scanning her. They won’t make the mistake to look around as they know it will offend her. They might get a bit nervous and start fiddling with something in their hand...
Deleted Member Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 As always you have made some good points. Though these do not apply to all men. I have had a few that I have meet recently that do none of these then tell me later that they were interested but intimidated. Keep in mind as well of different cultures. Though body language is a huge indicator different cultures show respect differently. Example: I am American and raised in the Southern US. I would never greet a familiar male by kissing him on the cheek but I would hug him. In the Netherlands where I live now it is common to be greeted with a kiss to both cheeks. It took me years to get used to this.
Deleted Member Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 Of course always wise to check country culture and way of greeting people’s 😂😂 we do kiss in France but only family and close friends not everybody you meet! That would be a no no ! i think we lost the way to understand body language since we all glued to our phone in the street 🤷♂️🤔
Phoenyx Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 There is one definite male body-language cue, that is universal. Ladies, if the man suddenly leans back and stretches while conversing with you, this is not a sign that he his bored. He is getting aroused---whether he realizes it or not! The stretching is an autonomic bodily reaction, to increase *** flow.
Deleted Member Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 Touch, smell, eyes and catching someone's gaze across the room. I have been known to pay a bloke a compliment on his aftershave or checked out his ass as he passes me.
Deleted Member Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 3 hours ago, phoenyx said: There is one definite male body-language cue, that is universal. Ladies, if the man suddenly leans back and stretches while conversing with you, this is not a sign that he his bored. He is getting aroused---whether he realizes it or not! The stretching is an autonomic bodily reaction, to increase *** flow. Shall pay attention next time that happens to me.
Vandalslut Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 3 hours ago, phoenyx said: There is one definite male body-language cue, that is universal. Ladies, if the man suddenly leans back and stretches while conversing with you, this is not a sign that he his bored. He is getting aroused---whether he realizes it or not! The stretching is an autonomic bodily reaction, to increase *** flow. 15 minutes ago, MsBossyCow said: Shall pay attention next time that happens to me. So will I !
Recommended Posts