How Intense is too Intense?

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, MysticDom73 said:

Well that's unfortunslly one of the reasons my sub/slave drop me was because I apparently "triggered her " but if someone d that "triggered" wouldn't she want you gone asap?

Why would you think that? Because being triggered is all screaming “get away from me!”? Because that’s not reality. Sometimes being triggered is going non verbal, sometimes it’s actually trying to be closer to a person, sometimes it’s being super affectionate and loving… it depends on the person and what they went through.

There’s a book called the psychology of bdsm and kink (written by Douglas Thomas) and another book called understanding trauma (edited by Laurence j kirmayer) that might help you change this very stereotypical view.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, MysticDom73 said:

Well that's unfortunslly one of the reasons my sub/slave drop me was because I apparently "triggered her " but if someone d that "triggered" wouldn't she want you gone asap?

I was at an event last December and the partner in an *** cage got triggered and she yelled from top of her lungs (GET ME OUT GET ME F OUT). All the while the top was flustered as she did not have the key within reach as she had placed it inside her purse. When she finally got the key, someone took the key from her and rushed to get lady out of the cage and when the top approached her the hatred in her face (if looks could kill) she yelled at her GET AWAY FROM ME and avoided her touch. The top was all nonchelant as if it was no big deal. I wanted to kill the top. So I can attest where you are coming from because that reaction could be common.

[PrinceCruel]

Not all triggers are "explosive", mine are intensely "implosive" where I either dissociatiate or become ***fully catatonic. In any case, if it shows one thing it's that you engaged into play without the adequate level of communication and awareness of each other but also of the risk of the practice.
For me as a Dom, it is my responsibility to be in-tuned with my sub. The trigger is not a button that gets accidentally pushed; with proper attention you could have noticed the harbinger signs, breathing cadence change, muscle tension, body temperature, eye movement, skin texture... all those preceeding the rupture point.
I know a Dom who never has a first session in private, it addresses a lot of the red flags you have pointed out, starting with the self question check "would you do it if other people knew it ?"
I have had my share of close calls and always took it hard when hearing the dreaded "red" call, but I was grateful for the honesty, integrity of my play partner and could only respond with the same honor and learned my lesson, accept my short comings and strive to do better next time.

[leighbratscamper]

Again I will go back to the importance of taking things slowly (for all involved). Triggers will happen, however long you have been together, how you manage them is the key. A Dom can't be expected to know all triggers and they will only know what a sub tells them. How a Dom responds to triggers though is important, they need to acknowledge and reassure the sub without judgement . Trust comes with time. Imo both rushed in.

[Deleted Member]

I think you need to spend some time understanding the nuances of consent and safety within kink before attempting another session with another submissive. I will be quite honest: your responses are troubling to Me.