Am I a bad sub?

[sp****]

i recently had a bad interaction with someone on here. they were cute at first, i had a playfully bratty response, then the guy calls me a bitch. after stating i don’t want to be degraded, he says that if i’m good then he won’t do it. he then proceeds to tell me im not a real sub and shouldn’t be on here.

i’m just overwhelmed with this encounter. i need some advise please.

[Zk****]

Thats pretty screwed up if u ask me

[al****]

If that is your limit and he didn’t respect it he’s not a real Dom. Rule 0 of being a Dom. His loss

[hiImJames]

No you're not a bad sub, name calling is ok but only with what you're comfortable with

[ki****]

That person is trash and is gaslighting you. You are still learning. Block him and move one. Sorry, there's some shit people out there. Gotta sift through it, unfortunately.

[Zk****]

My advice is u did nothing wrong! You spoke about how u felt an what u didnt want an he didnt want to respect that dont let one bad apple ruin what u could possibly find on here!

[Deleted Member]

I'm clearly no expert, but you should be able to be the kind of sub you want. Then you have to find a good fit. It's important to clarify early (which you seemed to have done). From what you said I don't think you did bad.

Edited October 9, 2024 by Deleted Member

[x2****]

Sounds more like a bad Dom than you being a. Bad sub. It's Dom role to learn and earn submission not assume and they should be aware of the dynamic and boundaries you have in place before acting Thier out Thier own desires and demands. Just put them on the block list and move on

[ED****]

Disrespect of any kind is a no no,
no real person or dom abiding by any kind of respectful consenting interaction, agreements first always, though some get into their exchanges pretty fast, it’s fine if, if the level is agreeable to both only !

[x2****]

Oh and not blaming you for your bad experience but you are young and maybe reach out to those in your local kink community help you learn how to get better and perhaps just some random advice maybe update your profile to include boundaries and limits if you highlight the *** is a hard no then it is

[ED****]

Sad this happened to you, be stronger to overcome your ***s and move onto better people and times, they are here x

[ED****]

***s *

[SeaDragon580]

My advice is to block and move on. You're entitled to having limits. If someone makes the conscious choice to ignore them you get to make the conscious choice not to have anything to do with them. And that block button is just so so easy to click :-)

[Du****]

Another wannabe Dom who doesn’t know what he’s doing. No need for you to put up with that.

[Will72]

Sounds like you were being your play self but he didn’t know what you wanted or at least did not find out what you wanted before imposing his dominant persona on you either.
You may have had a lucky escape or he needs to learn and accept his role better dominance can be harder work than submission as you set limits he has to work within unless otherwise agreed.

[GB****]

He isn’t a real Dom. Dom’s understand that the sub actually hold all the power. He just seems like an asshole on a power trip. Move on, block and stay clear. No reason for all that.

[Deleted Member]

You are not a bad sub, that idiot just wasn't a dom. On this app there is an EXCEEDINGLY high amount of men who play pretend as doms. As others have been suggesting, just block him. He is not worth your time or worry.

[La****]

Oh loord… The amount of people who called themselves doms just to give doms a bad name. A lot of shitty ppl give themselves the label just so they could have their way with being an assh_ole and doing abusive things. Dont believe any of those bs. The foundation on kink scene is consent and respect. No agreement and respect then its just toxic and should be stopped.

[Ch****]

Sounds like a bully

[Deleted Member]

The reactions seem unanimous, so I hope you feel better now @spooky_boo 

[J8****]

Petty much. On all accounts....suck it up, and carry on.

[Deleted Member]

That guy is still learning and figuring out how this all works. albeit in a terrible fashion and at the expense of your feelings. He probably felt insecure and unsure of himself after u said that and instead of communicating his feelings, he lashed out in anger. Not your fault.The dom picks the sub just as much as the sub picks the dom. He should have been respectful, taken mental notes said sorry and moved on. The same goes for you. If it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. His way is not the only way and that's a lesson he'll have to learn. You will find someone who knows how to tame a brat without name calling lol it's not hard, I find it harder to expect calling someone bitch to work, especially when ur degradee score is pretty low on ur profile. Put name calling as a hard limit if u haven't already. Good luck.

[Deleted Member]

Ok so just to cover this shortly. No decent Dom ever will just jump into anything unsolicited. Respect is always a huge part of any dynamic. Don't tolerate people insulting you just because you're not interested or comfortable with their personal desires or kinks. Turning down someone's desires will never make you a bad sub. And you're under 0 obligation ever to participate in play you're not comfortable with regardless of how well you know someone. Anyone who ignores those boundaries or excuses their bad behavior as "punishment" is not someone you have to interact with any further. Even if you enjoy ***, you don't deserve anything that's unconsensual or abusive. Don't let their bad behavior to your self respect or boundaries gaslight you into self doubt. That's not fair to any sub.

[BruiseWayne]

I wouldn't worry too much about it. When certain kinds of people get butthurt over a bad interaction they will try and say whatever they think is the meanest or most hurtful thing they can come up with or try gaslighting you to make you question yourself and chip away at your self esteem.You're allowed to have limits and you don't ever have to do anything you're not comfortable with. Really, just chalk it up to this person just being a shithead and move on. No sense really dwelling on it.

Edited October 9, 2024 by BruiseWayne
words

[Deleted Member]

Sound like a fake dom some things that may help you and reassure your safety security and enjoyment. Don't say yes when you want to say no. Know the value of your submission the power is with you safe words boundaries and limits should be discussed and agreed these can always change as your relationship grow. Expect to be treated as a full, multifaceted person (not just a submissive plaything)