Feeling Drained and Deflated After Unsuccessful Meetings

[Ki****]

You have a well written profile that seems clear in what you are interested in and looking for. You do gear it towards newbies who are looking to explore. So you have to expect that they may not really know what they are looking for. They may not know how to articulate themselves with the same language and experience that you already have. 

 

You need to get better at interviewing so you can set your own expectations when you do meet. I think having more patience with inexperienced people and not getting yourself overly excited about their potential for a partner match. Maybe work on more specific questions to ask them before meeting so you will have a better sense if they may match. Really pay attention to their answers and try to draw out from them what they really are looking for. Then you will go in to the meet better prepared for their expectations. But chemistry is that elusive thing that is sometimes just not there….

[Deleted Member]

24 minutes ago, Kitanya said:

You have a well written profile that seems clear in what you are interested in and looking for. You do gear it towards newbies who are looking to explore. So you have to expect that they may not really know what they are looking for. They may not know how to articulate themselves with the same language and experience that you already have. 

 

You need to get better at interviewing so you can set your own expectations when you do meet. I think having more patience with inexperienced people and not getting yourself overly excited about their potential for a partner match. Maybe work on more specific questions to ask them before meeting so you will have a better sense if they may match. Really pay attention to their answers and try to draw out from them what they really are looking for. Then you will go in to the meet better prepared for their expectations. But chemistry is that elusive thing that is sometimes just not there….

Thank you, I shall definitely bear that in mind.

[be****]

It’s tough to find the right person outside of the persona you’ve chosen to go with, whittling that pool down by 95% by choosing to be a dom, so you have to find a sub rather than just someone you click with.
I always think it’s a bust trying to find the role rather than the person.
But I’m just ***ting in broad strokes.

Also I’d ask myself, am I someone that I’D turn total control over to?

[Ki****]

Go to munches and kink events. You can find them on FetLife. Make friends and establish that you have chemistry first. You can meet large groups of people regularly, and together so it’s much easier to find people you click with rather than having lots of solo meets.