Fetish honestly is the downfall of any relationship

[AmariForever]

I am very honest when meeting new people as I don’t want to waste time on those who don’t have the same thoughts as myself. However, I can’t help but notice, i am not able to express or describe the true meaning of what I need! 
I am definitely miss understood or disjointed! 
 

Am I wasting my time trying to explain the fundamentals of kink to those who have never experienced it or those who have never imagined something different! 

[AmariForever]

Or am I disclosing too much to soon? 

[qu****]

I think it depends on the kink . Some ppl need to be brought in more slowly.

[Deleted Member]

I would try to figure out if someone is in to kink at all before dis losing what you're looking for. No point in trying to have to explain the lifestyle to a vanilla and hope they will like it.

[Tobasco82]

Your thoughts are unapologetically and gently pure and sincere and your communication skills leave me in no doubt that you will find the connection that you desire.

Please DM me, I feel an affinity with your thoughts and would like to dive deeper into this .

[Ma****]

Your kind of right, most ppl nowadays just a one and done deal not really a relationship that can be fun or intense depending on whom you're dealing with. Some reason when it comes down to the nitty gritty they become scared that it's not something they want but they don't wanna do it, or their mundane world will come crashing down around them.

[Deleted Member]

This is why I refuse to date vanillas. 

Also if you are unable to properly communicate, then professional help might be needed. Because communication is key for any relationship to work, especially kinky ones

[No****]

I was new to kink when I met my Dom. I wasn’t part of the kink community and didn’t know anything about the lifestyle. I was open to learning and still am. I’ve been with my Dom 2 years now. I guess I’m saying some people are open to a new lifestyle and I wish you luck.

[Re****]

Terms like KINK are thrown around too much. Without proper context and agreement one person's kink is another's vanilla. Like most things, KINK is a relative term on a very wide spectrum. Be more clear.

[Ma****]

Like anything....the vast majority are not gonna be open to something new.

Lets talk about Football. You probably have at best, a 50/50 chance of meeting skmeone who likes sports, and then a smaller xhance that they like football. And then an even smaller chance that they like a team in your state, let alone your particular team of choice. Buuut evey ince in a while you meet someone rhat is open to learning about what you like, including what sports you enjoy, and your particular team.

For the most part, you can tell who is open to what you are into. If you need to convince yourself that they might be open, then they probably actually aren't, and you are just really wishing that they were. Those are the ones you need to be honest with yourself, about and just move on.

[kinkymasterandrew]

A lack of honesty is the downfall of any relationship...in my view, at least.

[ey****]

it's difficult to bring the idea of kink/fetish to someone who is outside it.   They themselves may have their own images of kink in their mind which gives a more difficult playing field

it's partially why sites like this popped up, and the growth of kink communities - because people there at least have understanding 

[Su****]

It really is worth putting pen to paper to properly articulate what it is you need. What would it look like, is it realistic and how much would you give of yourself to have what you need? Many people on here are fantasists so can't comprehend another person's needs as they are too fixated on their own. Kinksters with experience may be more suited to you - communication is key.

[Di****]

Sometimes it feels better if you just focus on giving love. And I want to blowjob women I like. You focus on finding someone who gets turned on giving you orgams. Tell um what’s up, buddy, stretch me out. And then you know what, see how many ojs you can give em on the first date. That will get a second date or you’re not the one for me. Lol

[Aberration]

Yesterday at 08:28 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

it's difficult to bring the idea of kink/fetish to someone who is outside it.   They themselves may have their own images of kink in their mind which gives a more difficult playing field

it's partially why sites like this popped up, and the growth of kink communities - because people there at least have understanding 

Exactly. I don't get the topic in general, do you date vanillas on a regular basis? This is a weird discussion imo.

The chances of finding someone who never experienced kinky stuff of any kind and then getting them into the same things you are into are pretty low of course. In the end there's a reason we're on this app, right? 😅

[ey****]

2 hours ago, Aberration said:

Exactly. I don't get the topic in general, do you date vanillas on a regular basis? This is a weird discussion imo.

The chances of finding someone who never experienced kinky stuff of any kind and then getting them into the same things you are into are pretty low of course. In the end there's a reason we're on this app, right? 😅

absolutely. like, yep - even in kink circles finding someone with the right overlaps and who you have enough in common with etc is a challenge, without expecting someone outside the circles to warm to it

this said - there are more people who are kinky, or have a potential to be, than could be first gauged - but stuff narrows the angle

like, there's a venn diagram where the centre of it all points to the same thing - and the outer circles are loneliness/depression, wanting friends, hoping to meet a partner, doing something fun -- and the inner circle is take up a hobby and go to meets or events for it.  

 

[Deleted Member]

The short answer is no. You're not wasting your time. People should know that your likes and dislikes are out front. It's a good thing that you're being forthright and honest

[Jo****]

From my experience, any vanilla person I've exposed to the kink/fetish lifestyle, had always been amazing! Till it wasn't. Once they wrap their heads around "it's ok to like this," they want more and more and then in almost a fiendish fashion, they would trail off with others and I'd be a memory. A fond one, and there's gratitude there, but it's just never the same as it was.

[Deleted Member]

I am honest about mine but then I find in a break up they are used against you