Lifting the lid on pandora’s Box: a looking glass into the head space of submission

[Deleted Member]

Calling all female subs ....

I love the journey I am on learning my subs minsdpace which is ever changing. A shared journey as she figures herself out. 

Maybe learning  from those who are also walking their own path on this one can help me to understand my absolute dream of a sub.  Perhaps inspire me to tease out unconsidered dynamics and introduce her to concepts or ideas we both didn’t even know about ? ( hoping and pretty sure there’s still loads to learn)

 

Anyone want to share their own mind space ?

Please write freely but if the above is not specific enough maybe the below would help as a starting point ?

what does it mean for you? Are limits soft or hard or fluid ? 

What are the big boxes that need ticking ? 

What do you LOVE ? 

We all know the basics but what are the best ways you have been made to FEEL Dominated etc ? 

If you haven’t guessed I’m trying to stay 3 steps ahead of my sub 😉.

 Don’t get me wrong ladies this is a journey I’m happy to walk in the dark with no torch and no body to hold my hand but also smart enough to accept that the wheel has been around for some time if you know what I mean. 

if anyone wants to make the talk direct I’m open to mail or friends requests. 

Thanks 

G

[Deleted Member]

I’m still finding my words so very interested to hear how other subs will express themselves 😊

[Deleted Member]

Hey, hope you find your words 😀

Will you be sharing when they come to mind ? 

G

[NeedsDom]

As a new sub myself, and having had thoughts about being dominated for many years I’ve not yet found a loving Dom as of yet but I’m prepared to wait as I’ve only just started on my journey. I have however been fortunate enough to have a mentor who I met through here.

One of my biggest struggles is talking about what I want sexually as well as not having much confidence but he’s taught me that it’s okay and to go at my own pace. He encouraged me to take pictures of myself which I’ve now found quite liberating but I’m still shy so I’m not able to do the full nudity thing yet but I know I will. I’ve struggled wondering if I’m normal.

I mean why do I fantasise about being hurt then being held and loved after. Why do I have dirty thoughts in my head about being taken roughly but my mentor has ensured me it’s all normal. You just want kink. It made me want to explore more about me and I got on a different site where I met a guy who is now showing me the ropes. He’s not my Dom but I needed to get out and meet people so I went to his rope class.

Fantasised about that and the people were so nice. Not only did I get roped I got suspended. Loved it. The people were normal. Not sure what I was expecting but all ages and sizes. I then got invited to a club event. Him and his girlfriend also do fireplay. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Got dressed up in thigh length boots and a black dress and how I didn’t fall as I was shaking so much was beyond me.

I was driving up thinking what are you doing woman? Once I got there I met all types of people from TV’s to couples all with different fetishes. I did do fireplay and loved it. Tomorrow I’m doing a whip scene for the first time ever and I will have the aftercare from him. I’m now exploring my masochistic side as this will help me when I eventually meet a Dom what I can handle. It also takes the pressure off me in having to jump in to a D/s relationship as it’s scary but exciting.

What I’ve found helpful is to stop hiding behind my phone and get out there. Meet people as they have made me feel so welcome and what I love about these events is there is no pressure to do anything and just meet like minded people who have given me some great advice and taken me under their wings. I couldn’t ask for more. I’m so scared for tomorrow and the whip scene but excited.

I want to cry when it’s going on and thought I was abnormal but it’s not. It’s normal to want that. Of course I’d much prefer my own Dom doing it but I’m thankful I’ve met a Master in rope, fireplay and the whip. That helps. I’ve had meltdowns thinking I can’t do this but the support I’ve had is amazing. I am just starting on this journey and super proud how far I’ve come. When I do meet my own Dom I’ve no doubt I will have other struggles to deal with but I’m prepared for it a little better now. Hope that helps a bit and not sure if I’ve gone on too much so I apologise in advance. Your own journey sounds amazing. X

[Deleted Member]

NeedsDom you are a legend ! I’m well impressed at your getting in the mix of it in the way you are - check you. 

I think you should read your thread back to yourself , you talk about confidence issue and being suspended and going to a whip scene in the same breath ! Perhaps you just need to realise your own power and confidence ?

Don’t apologise for long post I really appreciate it.

hope your whip scene is epic ( hope you have something to bite down on 😉)

When you find a Dom , and you say , “ I’m a new sub “ I think they will fall over with shock. At your next line 

“ I’ve done suspension whip and fire play “

 

 

G 

[Deleted Member]

15 hours ago, NeedsDom said:

As a new sub myself, and having had thoughts about being dominated for many years I’ve not yet found a loving Dom as of yet but I’m prepared to wait as I’ve only just started on my journey. I have however been fortunate enough to have a mentor who I met through here. One of my biggest struggles is talking about what I want sexually as well as not having much confidence but he’s taught me that it’s okay and to go at my own pace. He encouraged me to take pictures of myself which I’ve now found quite liberating but I’m still shy so I’m not able to do the full nudity thing yet but I know I will. I’ve struggled wondering if I’m normal. I mean why do I fantasise about being hurt then being held and loved after. Why do I have dirty thoughts in my head about being taken roughly but my mentor has ensured me it’s all normal. You just want kink. It made me want to explore more about me and I got on a different site where I met a guy who is now showing me the ropes. He’s not my Dom but I needed to get out and meet people so I went to his rope class. Fantasised about that and the people were so nice. Not only did I get roped I got suspended. Loved it. The people were normal. Not sure what I was expecting but all ages and sizes. I then got invited to a club event. Him and his girlfriend also do fireplay. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Got dressed up in thigh length boots and a black dress and how I didn’t fall as I was shaking so much was beyond me. I was driving up thinking what are you doing woman? Once I got there I met all types of people from TV’s to couples all with different fetishes. I did do fireplay and loved it. Tomorrow I’m doing a whip scene for the first time ever and I will have the aftercare from him. I’m now exploring my masochistic side as this will help me when I eventually meet a Dom what I can handle. It also takes the pressure off me in having to jump in to a D/s relationship as it’s scary but exciting. What I’ve found helpful is to stop hiding behind my phone and get out there. Meet people as they have made me feel so welcome and what I love about these events is there is no pressure to do anything and just meet like minded people who have given me some great advice and taken me under their wings. I couldn’t ask for more. I’m so scared for tomorrow and the whip scene but excited. I want to cry when it’s going on and thought I was abnormal but it’s not. It’s normal to want that. Of course I’d much prefer my own Dom doing it but I’m thankful I’ve met a Master in rope, fireplay and the whip. That helps. I’ve had meltdowns thinking I can’t do this but the support I’ve had is amazing. I am just starting on this journey and super proud how far I’ve come. When I do meet my own Dom I’ve no doubt I will have other struggles to deal with but I’m prepared for it a little better now. Hope that helps a bit and not sure if I’ve gone on too much so I apologise in advance. Your own journey sounds amazing. X

This is fantastic!!  As a new sub I love to hear about the approach you have taken. I have been unbelievably lucky and somehow found the man I’ve been searching for, who was initially my mentor, then friend now my Sir. 

 

Reading your post is brilliant as your words and clear, honest and direct which I am learning is the only way to be but goes against the grain of what vanilla teaches us/ society expects and accepts. 

Things I love:

- hearing explicitly what Sir likes to do to me/ being told how amazing he thinks I am

-being kissed very roughly/ very tenderly

-my body being grabbed and held tightly/ caressed in the most tender way

- having our gorgeous new crop come down hard repeatedly on my buttocks/ having his magic hands make me cum like I didn’t know was possible.....

...... I need a moment!!!!

 

essentially I cannot get enough of the duality of being a sub, the stark contrast of, I suppose, of pleasure and pain. 

 

Fantasies:

i am an exhibitionist. I love to be watched, to be admired, to tease those who can’t have me (hence the foot pics!) I don’t have a foot kink but love the responses of others!

i would love to go to a dungeon/ bdsm club and explore that side of us. I have a thing about being found/ discovered/ perved over!!

also- being outside/ fireplay/ waxplay

i have a little who is developing, this is a complicated thing for me and I will explore this more as time goes on....

i have no doubt that these will all become realities and new fantasies will emerge!!!

limits:

what I thought were limits before have already been challenged therefore I have my safe word and will resist using it as long as possible. 

Sooooo, yes, I found my words and now I’m turned on....... forgot topping from the bottom which I’m going to post about now!!!!

 

[Deleted Member]

Well my girl you never fail to amaze me you have changed so much and also I my self am in the strange position of mildly rewiring my self you have changed how I think about things with your amazing openness and finding your voice which is one of the most amazing sounds ... you will keep growing and I will push you to places you have not realised existed as my sub but also as a woman with your newly found power and confidence ..

 

This goes to every one don't ever doubt what you can do or feel eventually when the time is right you will find your path .all experiences,emotions lead where you need to go I have leaned this the hard way ....

Words can not express how proud of this girl I am ..

 

Your Sir ..

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, Mrchristopher70 said:

Well my girl you never fail to amaze me you have changed so much and also I my self am in the strange position of mildly rewiring my self you have changed how I think about things with your amazing openness and finding your voice which is one of the most amazing sounds ... you will keep growing and I will push you to places you have not realised existed as my sub but also as a woman with your newly found power and confidence ..

 

This goes to every one don't ever doubt what you can do or feel eventually when the time is right you will find your path .all experiences,emotions lead where you need to go I have leaned this the hard way ....

Words can not express how proud of this girl I am ..

 

Your Sir ..

Thank you x

there is so much to learn and to walk this journey with you is an absolute honour ❤️

[NeedsDom]

Your Sir. I’m so pleased you understood my journey. Tonight I’ve been whipped. Never used the safe word but I did use Amber a couple of times. Man it hurt, however it was the dragons tail and single tail that hurt. The floggers I could handle. However. The best thing is he used knives on me. The sensation, as by law you’re not allowed to cut but I shuddered. Do that to me enough times and I’m surely to cum but as this top of mine is non sexual and my protector and helping me on my journey, now as a newbie who’s never had a Dom sexually, I want knife play. It’s not as bad as people think. It’s all in the mind. To shudder like that when I’ve not had sex in 3 years taught me things about myself. I like pleasure and pain. I hope to meet a monogamous Dom/daddy Dom. Still not sure which one yet but I know right need a loving Dom only for me. I don’t share. Never. No disrespect but no cock is that great I’d share it. I’m being true to me.  

 

💋