Approach to Newbies

[Kriss123]

Aranhis Thankyou mate..I am confused and I've lost my way.

i am in music studio..trying to record a guitar part ..I'm sorry everybody..

ive been with coon virus all day and it wore me down by 1300 am it's weird beclouded there is this metre length policy in place..You are not allowed to rush Im  being paid a 10% bonus with free food and drink..

[Kriss123]

I apologise

[Ar****]

11 minutes ago, Brittone2 said:

I apologise

Don't worry about it mate, at least you know you're not at your best. Please just try to stay safe and look after yourself (and everyone else)... we'll all get through this together with a little compassion and understanding. 

[Kriss123]

I am making a note of Aranhis is a top guy ..He has seen me at my worst..

Dont suppose you can play drums mate..I have paid work

[cautiousswitch]

Like many other businesses, dating sites are trying to put positive spin on the corona virus.  There are several trying to push people to talk through their messaging system.  I recently read, from a slightly reliable source, that dating app messaging has increased about 500%.  It is possible that the rude young woman had been flooded by unwanted messages.  It doesn't justify her responding to a nice introduction rudely, but it may have been carryover from multiple other rejections she was making.

Someone once suggested that I set up a fake account as a woman to see what not to do on a dating site.  Women do put up with a lot of crap.

[ey****]

5 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

It is possible that the rude young woman had been flooded by unwanted messages

that is a sound theory.

5 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

someone once suggested that I set up a fake account as a woman to see what not to do on a dating site.  Women do put up with a lot of crap.

It's something that... yeah.  There's often a guy here or there does it as a social experiment (could actually just try believing women) and, you can kinda see the sort of nonsense.

Equally, a lady did an experiment where she decided to reply to every message no matter how mundane - and - yeah, replying to 'hey' messages ended up going nowhere or in circular conversations vastly more often then went anywhere.   She literally wasted a fortnight of her life doing this, because replying to every message takes a lot of time

[Vandalslut]

20 hours ago, MossyBoy said:

The other, let's call her, mmmm Raquel for the sake of a name, wrote back to me calling me an 'arsehole'.  Now I would expect that if someone wasn't interested, then a simple 'no thanks' would have sufficed, but to be so disrespectful, by a 28 year old, is simply bad attitude.  

Don't waste good manners on someone who doesn't deserve them.  All of the observations so far are very valid, and I'd like to add one more - sometimes people are new here, but not new to kink. In the 'newbie' section a message may read, 'Hi, I'm new here' or it may read 'Hi, I'm new to kink.'  Grounds for confusion.  I go and have a look at the profile and see what they are new at before sending a G'day message.   So Raquel may be new here, experience a-plenty in kink and was not seeking advice.

And on the subject of manners, I believe there was a new member here tried to message us and when he found he couldn't, made the assumption that we were snobs of some sort or another and had quite the tantrum. What had  happened was that the site tech (about which much has been said) had decided to reset our filters for us without our knowledge and certainly without our permission. Other members who ran into the same trouble left a polite message in the thread of interest, and that's how we knew there was a problem.  And we've had invites from members here to PM; if we weren't able to, we put a note in the thread to that effect and all was sorted very quickly.  Jumping to conclusions should be an Olympic event!

Edited March 29, 2020 by Vandalslut

[Ar****]

2 hours ago, Brittone2 said:

Dont suppose you can play drums mate..I have paid work

Haha no 'fraid not... I did violin for a few years and dabbled with the keyboard/ivories, but really my voice was always my instrument. Hope you find someone suitable soon.

[Deleted Member]

@Brittone2 you’ve been with COON VIRUS 😳or CORONA VIRUS 🦠?

[Wo****]

1 hour ago, Masterandsasha said:

@Brittone2 you’ve been with COON VIRUS 😳or CORONA VIRUS 🦠?

Might wanna reword that!

 

[PrincessServeen]

I think she was out of line. But there are some fake accounts on here I think. I’ve been approved by about three people with the exact same message

[Ky****]

44 minutes ago, PrincessServeen said:

I think she was out of line. But there are some fake accounts on here I think. I’ve been approved by about three people with the exact same message

approved by 3 people with the same message, how does that work please? I thought its the moderators who approve us not fellow members

[Mo****]

6 minutes ago, Kymi said:

approved by 3 people with the same message, how does that work please? I thought its the moderators who approve us not fellow members

I think they might mean approached not approved.

[qu****]

I think if you're a verified member and you know or meet someone you can vouch for them, well something like that

[Wo****]

37 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

I think if you're a verified member and you know or meet someone you can vouch for them, well something like that

You can check the "personally known" button on your friends list.

[Deleted Member]

On 3/29/2020 at 12:07 PM, MossyBoy said:

I know that, and you know that, but the newbies don't, and if they were to ask, they might just have been told how to do things.  The first girl and I are still chatting strong in a very respectful way.  It is sort of like I am her kinky grandfather now so she comes to me for advice and guidance.  One good thing came out of yesterday's effort, one is far better warned on what she should do with the rogues/sharks and pretenders.

I think people always have a choice to ignore, reply politely but firmly, use the 'Thanks but no thanks' auto-reply OR sort their inbox filter. Really, it's not hard. Four alternatives to being rude!

[Gary-74]

I found that many people, not just in here, can’t be respectful of others, as they don’t really understand the world around them. Sorry you got such a rubbish reply from someone who clearly hasn’t thought it through, what it means to be on this site. You’re absolutely right, a simple no thanks, would’ve been much more appropriate. Thanks for the message. Nice to hear I’m not the only one that gets crappy replies. Stay safe. Keep well 👍

[Ky****]

20 hours ago, MossyBoy said:

I think they might mean approached not approved.

thanks for that, still fairly new so misunderstood, I was afraid I was missing something in the regulations

[Mo****]

17 minutes ago, Kymi said:

thanks for that, still fairly new so misunderstood, I was afraid I was missing something in the regulations

Well Kymi, from where I sit, your doing good.  Was I right with my guess of what you meant?

[qwertytothemax]

On 3/28/2020 at 9:17 PM, MossyBoy said:

Yesterday I was browsing and came across a few new members, so I wrote to them welcoming them to this place and life.  One wrote back within the hour and we ended up chatting for hours.  About all that can happen when there is half a world between us.  This young lady ended up thanking me for being respectful and for my guidance.  I felt as pleased as punch in that I may have given her lots to think about.

The other, let's call her, mmmm Raquel for the sake of a name, wrote back to me calling me an 'arsehole'.  Now I would expect that if someone wasn't interested, then a simple 'no thanks' would have sufficed, but to be so disrespectful, by a 28 year old, is simply bad attitude.  Remember, I am half a world away, so it is not that I am trying to line up play sessions.

Now of late I have been following discussions about rogues/sharks and pretenders on how they approached submissive's, yet when a real Dom tries to approach a sub in a respectful way, gets insulted.  I would be interested in other's opinions on this.

Wish I has someone like you to greet me when I first joined the site. Maybe I would have opened up faster. 

[Deleted Member]

What an awful thing for her to of done. I would of not been like that if you had welcomed me x