Deleted Member Posted April 1, 2020 Posted April 1, 2020 Hey... I'm just hoping that some of you experienced folks here can share your thoughts please... I am supporting a friend who has been 'abandoned' by her Daddy. He's just cut contact and she is really distressed. I hope he's ok obviously, but the impact this is having on her (a Little) is huge... I think she has been triggered and I know they an agreement in place re abandonment. But there has been a number of example over their time together that show him to be inconsistent and even self centred and careless in his treatment of her, full stop. I am confident she is safe and I am trying to my best to comfort and soothe her the best I can. How would you deal with this? Any ideas and support really appreciated 🙏♥️
Deleted Member Posted April 1, 2020 Author Posted April 1, 2020 (edited) First of all, it sounds like you are a good friend, so well done to you. Stay with her (however you can) and calm her down as best as you can. Once she is thinking clearly, have a conversation with her about weighing up her options. It sounds like she probably should not be with him, but I do not know enough about the situation to legitimately form that opinion. Get her to search for other Littles to talk to, for support as well as their own experiences, and she needs to decide if this relationship is toxic. If it is, she needs to end it as soon as possible. Edited April 1, 2020 by Deleted Member
NEHypnotist Posted April 1, 2020 Posted April 1, 2020 Thank you for supporting your friend and reaching out. You gave great information. In my bias, I'd encourage her to reach out to a kink friendly counselor or consulting hypnotist for the resources they professionally offer. There's nothing wrong with reaching out to resources outside yourself.
Deleted Member Posted April 1, 2020 Author Posted April 1, 2020 Hugs and affection,friends are key and it sound like she has a good one.Once emotions calm and the *** she feels has faded a touch gently point out that is he a "man"she would really want in such an honoured position,He's proven his moral code and she can do much better.Doent help much when the *** is raw,only time can ease that sadly.
RA**** Posted April 1, 2020 Posted April 1, 2020 Thank you for helping herr. Your being with her will be a big help.
Deleted Member Posted April 1, 2020 Author Posted April 1, 2020 Personally if it was me I’d write a letter, doesn’t need to be sent but putting thoughts in writing helps me see more clearly. She’ll get through this and become stronger 💗
Deleted Member Posted April 1, 2020 Author Posted April 1, 2020 DD/LG is full of people who read about it and claim to be experienced an experts. You don't try a relationship dynamic/type because you like some aspects you have read about, you do it because it's who you are. The best advice I could give right now is to tell her to think about the type of person who would make a good Daddy and concentrate on the next persons personality type rather than the stuff they have read and just repeat. Hopefully it will give her something to think about and take her mind off it.
Ar**** Posted April 1, 2020 Posted April 1, 2020 Time on the phone, facetime where possible, is the best way to help in these circumstances where you can't be there for her physically. The nature of the relationship does not matter too much, the abandonment does and right now she needs some consistency, to feel she is not alone and that there is somebody reliable in her life she can depend upon not to leave her. If he does reappear then she needs to be discouraged from welcoming him back; particularly with the history she would only be lining herself up for further hurt and distress.
Deleted Member Posted April 1, 2020 Author Posted April 1, 2020 Thank you all for your input and support. I followed my nurturing instinct while she sobbed on and off (like a small child) ...my heart hurt for her 😢 it's definitely a conversation we'll be having when the rawness eases up. Tlc and lots of
Deleted Member Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 Some things sadly only time can heal and even then some wounds never fully close ts a sad fact that when the heart takes a blow it can take considerable time to recover.
Vandalslut Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 You are a wonderful friend, and she will have to take small steps - just as and when she feels she can - to recovery from this blow. The man does not sound fit or mature enough to be a Daddy Dom, or any sort of Dom. If any other factors, such an emergency or an accident have been definitely ruled out and it is a case of abandonment then what you are doing - holding her, comforting her and listening to her - are all the best things right now. The suggestion from little_dark_princess is an excellent one. If she can pour it out on paper - computer or handwritten, it doesn't matter - never mind spelling or capitals or punctuation - just let it out. She may need to do this a few times. Aranhis has a good suggestion - she may need to be discouraged from running back to him. He'll only do it again because he's gotten away with it before. He has no motive to change if she accepts this unacceptable and cruel behaviour. Hugs and affection and plenty of them, as Donnykinkster has suggested, and a kink friendly counsellor as NEHypnotist recommends is also a great option. We wish you and your friend all the very very best - my hope for her is that she does see this man for what he is and learns that there are kinder, more mature men in the world just waiting to meet her.
je**** Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 Is it possible that he's ended up in hospital? On a ventilator? Is there any way to find out what has actually happened to him? I hope that things work out for your friend...for what it's worth it really does sound like you're doing the best you can for her...and if this guy HAS just dropped her with no contact, then he definitely isn't worthy of the title 'Daddy' or 'Dom' or anything else!
Deleted Member Posted April 3, 2020 Author Posted April 3, 2020 I had a Dominant like this who would be amazing in messaging when he felt like it, then just disappeared for weeks. In 4 months we spoke only 3 times! He opened up & told me he was widowed & felt ‘pangs’ of guilt so I tried to be compassionate. It wasn’t until I realised he had closed the account he first contacted me on & opened another with different pictures. His new profile is also inconsistent to what he told me he wanted. Whilst he was saying he was too busy to chat, he was logging in everyday clearly for other Subs. I found out through a friend as we watch each other’s backs, that he had made a comment on her profile to entice her.😢 Looking back at his messages he always said he didn’t have time. His actions were clear indications that he either wasn’t that into me, or that he wasn’t ready to move on from his late wife. Whichever it was, he broke my heart. The trick is knowing that we see what we want to see! I had hope & unfortunately that wasn’t enough. Yes he could be Sick, I know my guy also said he suffered with migraines that took him out of life for a week. But it only takes a brief massage to say so. As a Submissive, we want so badly to please our master but this should only be if it’s reciprocated. I hope this helps 🤗💗🤗
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