BDSM AFTER CORONAVIRUS: THE NEW NORMAL? 🕯️

[Oialtna]

After a long lockdown I am starving for complete release. But can we re-engage in kink safely ? I have a fetish for oral (giving) and am submissive. Can I safely find a group of ladies In London who will use my skills in a CFNM environment to wait on them purely below the waist ? Or does social distancing end all play ? Thoughts welcome...

Edited May 5, 2020 by Oialtna

[Annalou]

Hi guys!

I just wanted to check in and see how you're all doing during this ongoing pandemic? I have spoken to a lot of you about coping during the quarantine, and how to stay kinky when you can't go out and actually be kinky. But I also want to look to the future – this will all pass – to when we are eventually allowed out of our homes again 

What do you think will change in your approach to BDSM play in the following months and years? Will Coronavirus change your social interactions with others? Has it altered your outlook on meeting up with potential partners? I am keen to hear your thoughts! 

Lots of kinky love 

[Deleted Member]

I’ve tried to take positives out of the lockdown, I really do miss the real time me and Lilm have regularly but we’ve stayed strong through daily video chats which is something we will carry on after lockdown eases and we can meet up again every couple of weeks. We always chat everyday anyway but the video chats have kept us connected, setting tasks has had to be much more inventive so that’s another positive to take from this, I’ve also used the time to really work on my rope ties , moving away from doing a lot of the traditional ties to designing loads of my own. I practice with the poi’s really perfecting the art of using them to their best effect. 
so in summary, yes this situation really sucks, but there are positives to be found. Don’t let negativity creep in, don’t dwell on what you can’t change and work on the things that can take your dynamic to an even higher level. I know when we can finally meet again it’s going to be awesome. 
As for moving forward after things get better, I think it will be fantastic. There’s a load of us from here that meet regularly and they are all dear friends. I know that our first big meet up after this is going to be the biggest kink party ever !! So all I see are positives going forward. We will all come out of this even closer than we are now. 

[li****]

I've definitely taken positively from this pandemic, yes some days have been worse than others as I suffer with anxiety/mental health it's definitely been tough. But as my Sir @Liam52says above we chat everyday and video call as much as possible. As with the tasks Sir knows I love them and they keep my mind busy!! I've taken up a lot more reading the weather has been nice recently so I've been sitting in the back garden, my kindle has so many books on it 😂😂 I've also taken up writing again which has helped my mind to focus also. I chat to friends everyday also which helps @PixieDust being my rock not just during this pandemic but she's been there for me since we started chatting. I think like Sir says we have to take the positives out of this, that we will get over this we shall get back to some sort of normality soon, we shall see each other again soon and our friends also. We just have to stick together through all of this we will come out of this much more stronger and more positive 🙌👊💪

[ey****]

In some ways. I can't quite second guess because there's so many variables.  I feel the first time is going to have a guilt of "should we be doing this" rather than a "party time" and there's some events etc. we may have to do without for a while - I'm certainly concerned about the future of a lot of venues. But a lot depends on what government support exists and/or if people are willing/able to front higher prices.  

But still.

Myself.

So, at first I was really massively kink thirsty. Like, I would look at someone I fancied and have really kinda lucid fantasies - often staring being let loose on feet and then getting rather carried away... but, a lot of that has calmed down. Which is probably for the best.

But, going the other way - I was having a lot of anxiety overnight the other night because I felt of the things I miss, kink wasn't one of them.  More rational me kinda knows that given the time and opportunity I'd be all over it - sure - but it still has a feeling of just being able to walk away.

Perhaps it's helped re-evaluate priorities and what is important. I dunno.

I do look forward to being able to make plans, but I hope these come without an air of guilty and anxiety around them.

[Deleted Member]

I think I'm gonna have nerves and feel guilty for a while. Some men have been trying to get me to commit to meetups as soon as lockdown is over and I just think there's not much point even talking about it yet. We don't even know when lockdown will end and when it does there will probably still be restrictions. 

Usually I want to meet someone for a daytime date in a cafe or a pub before we arrange to play... and someone said the other day that it could be January 2021 before pubs, restaurants and cafes are open again. I feel really flat at the prospect of that. 

Will we even be able to have events this year? It's unlikely. I could have told the OP about some Femdom events he could attend to explore his fetish but, yeah, what's the point right now?  

[Wo****]

There's talk of allowing small groups of people to meet as long as they remain in that "bubble" of people. Maybe that'll be a way forward for clubs, Idk.

Bars, restaurants, they'll take a while to reopen I think. That said, if social distancing is still observed it's possible.

I'm extremely thankful that I'm with Pirate so making plans is a lot easier and there are things that we can do because of our situation that others can't.

 

My relationships have developed so well recently, directly because of lockdown, it's not been a negative experience for me.

I'm not desperate to "meet up" with anyone, other than my daughter and pirate and as soon  as lockdown ends that'll happen so I'm still just enjoying "me" time.

Oh! And I finally won a game of scrabble.

[ey****]

4 hours ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

Bars, restaurants, they'll take a while to reopen I think. That said, if social distancing is still observed it's possible.

The papers today have a 'leaked' 'draft' of the plans and it's grim.  It's got cafe's with outdoor seating at the end of *June* and Pubs/Bars/Restaurants to start in September if social distancing is observed

A lot of fetish venues/events don't have their own category (unless they're, say, held in a club) but I can't see a small party in a dungeon going down well in the press (likely to find out through someone disgruntled they weren't invited if nothing else) and those held in clubs often really do rely on numbers (and, again, need to be cautious of the press)

I think that side of things is off for the year.  Esp from the kink perspective.  I think even dungeon hires are going to have to be very careful who they hire to. 

[Wo****]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

The papers today have a 'leaked' 'draft' of the plans and it's grim.  It's got cafe's with outdoor seating at the end of *June* and Pubs/Bars/Restaurants to start in September if social distancing is observed

A lot of fetish venues/events don't have their own category (unless they're, say, held in a club) but I can't see a small party in a dungeon going down well in the press (likely to find out through someone disgruntled they weren't invited if nothing else) and those held in clubs often really do rely on numbers (and, again, need to be cautious of the press)

I think that side of things is off for the year.  Esp from the kink perspective.  I think even dungeon hires are going to have to be very careful who they hire to. 

Agreed....

A thought... at work, before, during, and after each shift we have our temp taken. If it's higher than normal it's a case if self isolating. I'm wondering how practical, and effective (with tracking and tracing) that would be.

I don't think social events are gonna get to anywhere near normal for a while but I do think people will be able to socialise sooner rather than later.

 

[ey****]

22 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

If it's higher than normal it's a case if self isolating. I'm wondering how practical, and effective (with tracking and tracing)

I think it's a tool.  China did something similar as they eased lockdown - there were spot checks on the street and you had to have a temperature before entering some buildings.  there were concerns about inconsistencies - but, it's a tool

I feel the problem is we don't have enough tools.

[Ky****]

@LazyPiratesBounty socialising in limited numbers may come back sooner rather than l8r but to react to the op, I think that sort of thing is going to be a long while off.  If you're with your partner then kink hasn't stopped, but any kind of travel to play even within a long term relationship has.  My guess is that events won't be tolerated, or covered by insurance, until things like football are allowed to have full audiences.  Although we could argue we are ahead of things in terms of safety since in kink we introduced masks etc years ago lol

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

.  Although we could argue we are ahead of things in terms of safety since in kink we introduced masks etc years ago lol

there's a lot of false security about though  

Before things shut down a lot of folk pointed out how seriously hygiene was taken *anyway* - but, actually...

I saw a dungeon announce they were taking prebookings from June, but were increasing hire costs by £10 to cover cleaning.   Wait? What? You mean you weren't cleaning before?

I also remember being in a fetish club, saw there was a spanking bench available so gave my wife a bit of a beating.  Once we were done we went to find wipes to wipe it down. Couldn't see any.  Asked the dungeon monitor who seemed blissfully unaware there should be some or that stuff should be cleaned between use!  She went off and came back about 10-15 mins later with literally a couple.   This meant for most of the night the bench wasn't being cleaned between use.

[Chazz]

Never been this horny for a kinky female partner!

[Deleted Member]

On 5/7/2020 at 10:39 AM, MsWhiteRose said:

I think I'm gonna have nerves and feel guilty for a while. Some men have been trying to get me to commit to meetups as soon as lockdown is over and I just think there's not much point even talking about it yet. We don't even know when lockdown will end and when it does there will probably still be restrictions. 

Usually I want to meet someone for a daytime date in a cafe or a pub before we arrange to play... and someone said the other day that it could be January 2021 before pubs, restaurants and cafes are open again. I feel really flat at the prospect of that. 

Will we even be able to have events this year? It's unlikely. I could have told the OP about some Femdom events he could attend to explore his fetish but, yeah, what's the point right now?  

I was thinking about how hard it would be for submissives to go so long without serving a mistress or master, i never even thought about how much dominants must be missing being worshipped the way that they deserve. Sometimes its hard to remember that even though we may be humilliated for amusement and treated like playthings, dommes do actually enjoy the company of thier subs

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Puppyplaything said:

I was thinking about how hard it would be for submissives to go so long without serving a mistress or master, i

I think actually, there's a greater opportunity for subs here.  You don't lose the opportunity for service. You lose the opportunity for play obviously this is something the Dominant also loses.

But, if you are a sub in service to somebody then even if you cannot meet or spend time together there's other things you can still do to serve or be useful... or fun.  Whether it's sending a poem or short story, "being there", or look at what else they might need. And, of course, looking after yourself is a form of service to your Dominant (you can't pour from an empty jug)

If you are looking for a partner that might be a bit more difficult, but again if there's someone you are looking to make an impression on - can you provide something they need 

[ch****]

thats good

[Deleted Member]

The lockdown has been the worst thing that could happen for the bdsm scene and for me. I couldn’t meet my kitten for months and still can’t. We had to end our relationship and it’s been hard. 

i think it’s prob possible for people to meet up as long they are honest about their health condition and they stick to only one partner at the time. after all we all see what’s happened when the pubs opened, now the crowded supermarkets etc... so may as well meet and have fun if we sneeze at the end of it let’s hope it was worthy 

[Deleted Member]

14 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

The lockdown has been the worst thing that could happen for the bdsm scene and for me. I couldn’t meet my kitten for months and still can’t. We had to end our relationship and it’s been hard. 

i think it’s prob possible for people to meet up as long they are honest about their health condition and they stick to only one partner at the time. after all we all see what’s happened when the pubs opened, now the crowded supermarkets etc... so may as well meet and have fun if we sneeze at the end of it let’s hope it was worthy 

I agree, if a sub is only serving one dominant, and the dom isnt playing with any other subs, meeting up with your owner (or sub) is less dangerous than going to the pub and mixing with strangers

[ey****]

I think, honestly - there's no reason not to meet as long as everyone is sensible.

My recommendation - the sub should travel to the Dominant.  The sub should travel wearing a mask and carry a change of clothes.

Upon arrival  - strip naked, all clothes and mask into a waiting plastic bag - into the shower.

They remain naked for the entire duration.    When it's time to leave, they have a change of clothes and spare mask to leave in

-

If the Dominant needs to travel, they will need to follow the same except change into the clean clothes after their shower.  

-

I know some are insisting on masks etc during play but I feel if you're spending more than 30-60 mins together then if one of you has it then the other will also.   My cleaning the clothes etc. is to remove anything that may be transferred in.  

-

Obviously with this - it's important people only meet those they trust - and accept this might be cancelled at short notice if one has any possible symptoms or even anxiety.  

[Deleted Member]

For me its no changing after Corona has startet the invasive Attack over Germany!
As Afro-American I'm still invisible 4 the most women in Berlin 🇩🇪!
So what.... Murphys law is sit on my neck!

[Mi****]

Corona effect: I'm a lil lost atm

[di****]

Hi sounds like you have been thinking the same as I have being locked down. Great minds think alike and everyone ends up satisfied.

[Ky****]

1 hour ago, dirtttygurl said:

Hi sounds like you have been thinking the same as I have being locked down. Great minds think alike and everyone ends up satisfied.

misread that as 'everyone ends up sisified'

[UnwiseSexCouple]

On 05/05/2020 at 11:45 AM, Annalou said:

Hi guys!

I just wanted to check in and see how you're all doing during this ongoing pandemic? I have spoken to a lot of you about coping during the quarantine, and how to stay kinky when you can't go out and actually be kinky. But I also want to look to the future – this will all pass – to when we are eventually allowed out of our homes again 

What do you think will change in your approach to BDSM play in the following months and years? Will Coronavirus change your social interactions with others? Has it altered your outlook on meeting up with potential partners? I am keen to hear your thoughts! 

Lots of kinky love 

We have been doing a lot of chastity and  denial. It puts a bit of sexual energy back in to the relationship as we are ***d to be away from each other by the lockdown measures. We are also pretending we are in an 1800's romance novel and there's lots of sexual tension during walks on the wind- blown heath. Its not ideal, but we are making the best of it. 

[Deleted Member]

On 2/2/2021 at 8:34 PM, UnwiseSexCouple said:

We have been doing a lot of chastity and  denial. It puts a bit of sexual energy back in to the relationship as we are ***d to be away from each other by the lockdown measures. We are also pretending we are in an 1800's romance novel and there's lots of sexual tension during walks on the wind- blown heath. Its not ideal, but we are making the best of it. 

What an amazing idea! I love it