What’s in a bio?

[Deleted Member]

So most of us have done it, we’ve sat there and glared at the screen as that infamous question stares back... 

“Tell us about yourself”

“Describe yourself”

“Introduce yourself” ....

 

We all probably hate this question, I mean who really likes to sell themselves unless they’re a narcissist... oh and there’s a few!.... BUT what’s truly in a bio? We can attain slight information but can we get a true account? I’ve read bios and thought this person isn’t for me but then gone on to have very fun, deep and intellectual conversations with them. Likewise I’ve read bios where the person has sounded amazing and I’ve thought I could make a connection here but then they go on to disappoint. 

 

The issue with a bio in my opinion is that they’re there to present us in the best way. We take time to write them, we focus on our positives and try to polish the negatives, we write, read, delete and rewrite them. The emphasis is on perfection and not true reflection.... SO WHAT’S IN A BIO?

 

I’m not challenging the importance of bios at all and I do read them with an open mind but recently I’ve found that it’s best to chat candidly and throw the script away. 

[Ky****]

who really likes to sell themselves, I used to- oh sorry wrong meaning lol

[ey****]

bios can be quite daunting to write

I can agree to the sense that just chatting can be the best way - but a bio can unearth common interests, talking points or even that there's some reason why you want to talk to *that person*

It's true you can't get a true/full picture from some words on a screen, but I feel there's certainly a starting point.

[ca****]

You'll never have a 'fulfilling' relationship of nay kind with a 'bio'..... but the person behind the bio... well maybe so ;)

[ca****]

I'd also agree with what 'eyem' says above..  so maybe the 'bio' is akin to a book cover...  it gives you some clues ....   but isnt there a familiar saying along those lines !!  ;)

[Deleted Member]

I think it’s good to leave a few little clues to catch curiosity and the cat 😈😜. The pics, few kinks likes and how you interact in the forum give an overall sense of the personality. But a good old fashion communication is the best way to find out really what’s the person is made of.

[Deleted Member]

I think you're right, Princess. After I'd been on these sites for a while I started to learn to read between the lines on bios. It's not always the truth or the whole picture. But even the most self-aware person can struggle to present themselves reliably, and to a certain extent we're employing a little bit of marketing technique here. 

But it still bugs the fuck out of me if people don't bother to write a bio. Or just write 3 incomplete lines about what they want. Like I give a fuck about what you want. I want to know who you are and what you've got to offer. 

The best way is to have a proper conversation... but I just don't feel inclined to chat with someone who can't even write a couple of paragraphs about why they're here etc. 

Good topic x

[Deleted Member]

Agree with @callipygian @eyemblacksheep Read the blurb on a book cover and see if it takes your fancy, if not, pop it back on shelf.
I find it difficult to sell myself with my bio, I should ask someone to fill it in for me 😉

[St****]

I think whilst a bio is useful for highlighting a few points it’s main use is to give some hooks to allow someone to start a conversation - the worst types are those that give nothing one can use as a conversation starter. It’s the conversation that really lets you get to know someone, to a degree at least.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Kymi said:

who really likes to sell themselves, I used to- oh sorry wrong meaning lol

😂😂💗

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, FabSeverus said:

I think it’s good to leave a few little clues to catch curiosity and the cat 😈😜. The pics, few kinks likes and how you interact in the forum give an overall sense of the personality. But a good old fashion communication is the best way to find out really what’s the person is made of.

Meow... thought it killed the 🐱🤣💗

[ey****]

Curiosity killed the cat, But satisfaction brought it back

[cautiousswitch]

Ooooh - meet people for free! By the time we get through registering we're so focused on the people that we may meet that we aren't ready to answer questions about ourselves. 

And we're always told that we should listen and show interest in the other person if we want them to like us.  Writing a bio is like starting out talking about yourself the whole time. 

And half the fun of getting to know someone is getting to know them.  Reading bios sort of kills that.

And, of course, the internet.  Always be careful how much personal information you put on the internet.  Even without the internet it's nice to have information flow both ways rather than be the one giving all the information.  If everyone wrote bios then we'd feel more secure writing bios.

And, most importantly, why bother writing a bio when most people messaging you obviously haven't taken the time to read any of it?! (But that's a rant deserving its own website.)

On the other hand, people aren't just walking up to me in person and introducing themselves - why should I expect anything more here if I don't at least have a bio? It's just a matter of piquing people's interest without giving away too much information.

You get to control the content of your bio - which may be why some people sound really interesting but aren't once you start to talk to them.  And the people you thought you wouldn't connect with sometimes do because they were being more honest in their bio.  Look, we've answered one of the questions in the original post - random musings do serve a purpose.

On a site like fetish.com it seems natural that our bios should say something about our kinks.  Should they say anything about our non-kinky lives? I like it when they do; it gives me something to comment on that doesn't sound like I'm just trying to get the other person to talk dirty to me.  On the other hand, what vanilla information do you give to follow the fact that you like to be spanked? I like bondage, flogging and macrame.

Personally, I'm as much impressed with how something is said as what is said.  If someone doesn't take the time to write in complete sentences then I've got to question how serious they are in anything they've written.

[cautiousswitch]

One interesting bio question.  I've been contacted by a few people who tell me that they are from a city other than the city listed on their bio.  Why?

I can vaguely form a concept where someone might be afraid that someone they know will come across their profile, but if they list s different city then they may be fooling the person into thinking that it's just someone who looks like them.  Very vague concept, not very believable.

A lot of these I write off as scams.  "I'm Jane from Miami even though my bio says I'm from Houston and I want you to be my sex slave even though you live nowhere near either Miami or Houston."  Sounds like a scam but makes me lose faith in humanity; wouldn't this sort of scam have died out by now unless there were still plenty of people stupid enough to fall for it?

Can anyone think of a good reason why a legitimate member would list a different city than where they actually live? Somebody moving and not updating their profile makes sense, but that can't be happening as often as this occurs.

[ey****]

55 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

I've been contacted by a few people who tell me that they are from a city other than the city listed on their bio.  Why?

Scam.

Simple.

See also when they have one location listed and are talking that they are moving/working near you in the foreseeable and looking for contacts

(mind, I've seen that done legit - but - you can usually tell) 

[sc****]

Some cities aren't an option on the app...many African countries are not even possible to select. One reason perhaps