Did a member doubt/complaint cause a sudden Verification check mid conversation ?

[Enigma888]

I was into the 3rd day of deeper and deeper exchange with a year long member and we were actively planning a meet to find out if we may decide to live together with shared values of pleasure, we were in the middle of the deepest and most devoted exchange yet, when mid conversation all messages disappeared and the woman was blocked for Verification check... i have no doubt she is real, yet my complaint and assertion so far have no reply... We had not exchanged outside contact and didn't feel the need as we both trusted each other... Now, it has been 4 days blockage and is a massive frustration and annoyance.. i have advised that members who are complained of as fake maybe, should be given 24hr notice so that any current friends can be spoken of outside the site... I know how fake and scammers behave and this woman even turned down offer of fuel cost help if she was the traveller... and usually scammers want outside contact in the first exchange...  we were ready to start changing our lives by the first meet and now we cannot even talk.... this is a massive problem, a member can doubt purely because they get no reply and it should be forwarded to the member doubted with a time period to prove their reality before being blocked, ideally 3 days... I am actually mortified and spend many times looking to see if she is yet unblocked... life feels like garbage and it's down to this site blocking members with no real chance of defence by the accused member... like starchamber justice, no real justice that considers the one banned or whom they are closely communicating with... I though the site pretty good and some good replies here but this seems completely wrong... what do others think? and did anyone else get cut off in the middle of a fantastic exchange? We need more consideration, i see so many new members blocked for verify and many around... Also, the hiding of all exchange messages to that point is really unnecessary, it is us talking and not considerate to remove the seeds of meeting someone you are fated with... those initial exchanges are a beautiful keepsake that has been removed from my ability to enjoy what we spoke of and let those words sink in to remember... if she is never cleared, then our personal conversation has been stolen and that is really a crime in my eyes... i would love to read it again while i wait for her to return, may that happen, else this site has just broken a sapling tree of relationship... this needs to change to improve our efforts and ability to verify while not being blocked until a 3 day notice period or 24hr minimum... especially the message theft as even if the blocked sends their phone number, then the other member will not be able to even see it once the whole thread is hidden... it's really awful process applied for what can be unbased doubts of realness by other members..  PLEASE REMAKE your site process upon Verification check... thanks for reading... Wish me luck and pray that she returns else my life chance is simply ruined by Fetish.com censorship and blocking...

[Ka****]

Im not a mod but this has happened to me, it took me 5 days to come back as someone reported me for soliciting financial services when I hadn't. Same scenario, no outside contact details, no payment method exchanged. Its in the rules they dont like you moving off the app in case they're an actual scammer (not saying she is). Profile verification was easy - a face pics with a piece of paper with your username and the date handwritten and in the photo. I also asked for proof where id asked for the paid services I was accused of and support said they couldn't provide it because of GDPR. I'd argue they couldn't provide it cause it never happened. I verified my profile then found out because of the accusation my account was promoted to dominatrix and was perma banned, so then 2 weeks of back and forth with the team to prove (without access to any screenshots) i wasn't asking for payment, nor would I ever, and Im not a domme anyway (per my profile.) Before they agreed as a good will gesture to let me off with a warning and delete my account so I could remake it, which I did.

Basically, someone's reported her for a community standard *** somewhere. The verification check is easy and she should be back soon (apparently all verifications are manually sorted by support so depending how busy they are it make take a while), hope she didn't get reported for financial services or it'll take much longer.

Good luck!

[Laycette]

Well, if she is legit she ought to be able to show some kind of bona fides. If she's not, she won't. As long as (like for Australia) they won't accept anything other than a passport - this is not a governnent agency so you should not need to prove ID to that level,
just that you're real, which ought not to be hard.
But also, keep in mind that despite your experience thus far, another member may have found she is in fact a scammer and complained. It's happened to me. Odd that you have zero other contact methods or profiles elsewhere... but you're sure she's real huh? Did you reverse check any images?
I agree that censorship and reactions on here are heavyhanded and over the top. It is part of the erosion of freedom and increased control we see in broader society. The more we accept it, the worse it will become.

[kinkymasterandrew]

The user can verify their account and be back on, I've seen that happen often.

As for the practice of requiring verification, I don't know if there is a warning before they are cut off.

I would caution you that not all scammers use the same tactics or have the same objectives. She may not be a scammer but still using fake photos or other ***s of policy besides trying to get ***/personal details.

Most people I've seen asked to verify have been obvious scammers, but some weren't and those usually pass verification quickly.

[Le****]

She was fake bro relax

[Enigma888]

@Kaserai, it may be similar to yours, when I hit support over it, they said about possible financial/slavery problem, whether that was just one possible reason or from the complaint itself i don’t know…  @Letshavefun603, no bro i know scammers and how they behave, we were actually joint planning an event, she told me her workplace so if no joy here i will trace her through that, not easy but i know her job and location so may even travel there and get on the ground info… she was the best yet and we were literally mid conversation, if she asked for it, then she would still have access to her profile and messages… and turning down cash is rare for scammers, they usually ask it claiming they can’t get to you without funds sent… still furious about this…

[Enigma888]

@Laycette thanks for the reverse image search suggestion, i have done that loads of times when thinking someone is fake… she had 35 photos which is unusual for scammers, but just tried a couple (never doubted her) and found one from 2016 that matches so yes, looks now that she was fake as they are posted as if recent… thanks, i will get on with the others I am chatting with…. not all here… i am just staying open in chat until the right one comes forward… looks like she has gone but it does overshadow what others are like as i found her tastes and character in exchange as perfect… but you get what you get with life… lol, thanks all for exchange but i do still think notice of verification check needed would be a good thing… happy hunting!

[Ar****]

Aye, it's been some years now but there have been several instances where long-standing (and undoubtedly authentic) members I'd been talking with were suspended similarly. Oft it is a case of people acting out of spite, and unfortunately when users are already disenchanted with/not enjoying the site there is scant motivation for them to prove theirselves.

[Iwantcreampie]

And if she was real and connected to you all she would have to do create a new account and find you

[Enigma888]

found more of her pics from 8 years ago, many of them on one poster's page... it so odd to have had such a real and genuine exchange which obviously has someone intelligent behind it, yet there was nothing to gain at all and she was a member here for a year... thanks to all, i still believe notice of another members report before blocking would make sure real ones don't get squished by someone feeling against them and trying to get them blocked... i have chilled a bit now so thanks to @Laycette for the reminder of reverse search, i nearly always apply that to obvious scammers, they get better it seems... why waste time on me? and waste my time? makes no sense at all and if she does get back here then it will be odd as cake trousers... lol

[Ka****]

3 hours ago, Enigma888 said:

@Kaserai, it may be similar to yours, when I hit support over it, they said about possible financial/slavery problem, whether that was just one possible reason or from the complaint itself i don’t know…  @Letshavefun603, no bro i know scammers and how they behave, we were actually joint planning an event, she told me her workplace so if no joy here i will trace her through that, not easy but i know her job and location so may even travel there and get on the ground info… she was the best yet and we were literally mid conversation, if she asked for it, then she would still have access to her profile and messages… and turning down cash is rare for scammers, they usually ask it claiming they can’t get to you without funds sent… still furious about this…

From what l can tell its automated, someone reports and you get consequences. I got got the other day with a 'low insult' because I asked my 4th sex pester of the day if he sad wanks to Andrew Tate podcasts while trying to reassure himself 'women are the problem'. I mean come on, thatbwas comedy gold!

[Ka****]

Also, just a heads up... if you tracked her down at work and just showed up I'd be seriously freaked out so I'd really advise against it! If shes battling support, let her taken some time, if she cant or loses the argument she'll create another profile and be back :)

[Enigma888]

Thanks @Kaserai, I would first try to contact her dept by email or phone and pose as business contact which is feasible, but having found her pics are old then it may simply be that she wants what we were planning for but doubts her own looks as tempting enough so uses another’s and makes sure she gets what she wants as it would all be arranged and agreed… time will tell, sorry you got got for your good humour which made me smile… posting this thread did get reminder of reverse image search and that has calmed me down a lot as was furious inside at the interruption of our conversation… now my focus has shifted to others who I chat with who are a bit less extreme than my lost friend… one will come forward sooner or later… be well all 🍀

[ey****]

This used to be a huge problem years ago - the suspicion was that a lot of men would report profiles through either spite or cos of their "everyone is a scammer" mindset and - well - in some cases the woman then completed the fake check.  In some cases, they were annoyed, realising what had happened, and didn't.

There was someone who was saying that they had been vigilante hunting ("reporting fakes") and saying that the accounts didn't come back was "proof" they were fake and he was right.

I suspect policy got a little tightened up - but. yeah, it sounds like there has been some form of suspicious behaviour even if it wasn't what you saw, and doesn't mean she was or wasn't fake.

But, certainly, be cautious on tracking someone down.

[VK****]

Just a quick note on the reverse image search. It's excellent, but obviously not perfect, sometimes matching the outfits, jewelery, home furnishings etc. Harmless and good enough for me as far as this goes, but usually I have a forest of other red flags fluttering.

However...Bing, the offered service, is utterly useless. At present it is Google or nothing, so be warned.

[Iwantcreampie]

On an app like this you need to remember the golden rule, if it’s too good to be true then ….it is probably not true. This app has to do a better job in protecting its customers. I recently was threatened to be killed by a scammer on this site, because I figured out i was being scammed and this person was living very close to me. It’s a network of people. Be careful to never give out personal information like where you work because they will try to extort you. Look up sextortion

[Pl****]

The verification process is quick and easy. There's no reason not to verify. I think verification should be mandatory within 7 days or the profile is deleted. Keep the platform tidy.

[Ka****]

7 hours ago, Enigma888 said:

Thanks @Kaserai, I would first try to contact her dept by email or phone and pose as business contact which is feasible, but having found her pics are old then it may simply be that she wants what we were planning for but doubts her own looks as tempting enough so uses another’s and makes sure she gets what she wants as it would all be arranged and agreed… time will tell, sorry you got got for your good humour which made me smile… posting this thread did get reminder of reverse image search and that has calmed me down a lot as was furious inside at the interruption of our conversation… now my focus has shifted to others who I chat with who are a bit less extreme than my lost friend… one will come forward sooner or later… be well all 🍀

We disagree... I'd find that a huge boundary cross and if she reports it to authorities I think you'll find that you'll be in a lot of trouble. I know its coming from a good place but that could easily be interpreted as borderline stalker. Best of luck matey, a lot of people use old images if they love them and feel its still a good likeness. My image with the cat bag was taken 2018 for example but my one with the flowers in was last year soooo

[Ka****]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

This used to be a huge problem years ago - the suspicion was that a lot of men would report profiles through either spite or cos of their "everyone is a scammer" mindset and - well - in some cases the woman then completed the fake check.  In some cases, they were annoyed, realising what had happened, and didn't.

There was someone who was saying that they had been vigilante hunting ("reporting fakes") and saying that the accounts didn't come back was "proof" they were fake and he was right.

I suspect policy got a little tightened up - but. yeah, it sounds like there has been some form of suspicious behaviour even if it wasn't what you saw, and doesn't mean she was or wasn't fake.

But, certainly, be cautious on tracking someone down.

Also this, I very nearly didn't come back when I was banned without evidence and a refusal to provided any of my 'crime' so I could defend myself. I was chatting to a guy whom I seemingly had a lot in common with so I fought it just to show up 3 weeks later, plan a meet up then get ghosted 🤣

[ey****]

9 hours ago, Kaserai said:

Also this, I very nearly didn't come back when I was banned without evidence and a refusal to provided any of my 'crime' so I could defend myself. I was chatting to a guy whom I seemingly had a lot in common with so I fought it just to show up 3 weeks later, plan a meet up then get ghosted 🤣

I feel, and I appreciate some of this might be projecting

there has to be this disbelief if you've been active for a while and are then hit with a fake check, or someone in chat suggests you're fake.  There is a user sadly no longer on this site that it used to drive her up the wall 

 

[Ka****]

25 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I feel, and I appreciate some of this might be projecting

there has to be this disbelief if you've been active for a while and are then hit with a fake check, or someone in chat suggests you're fake.  There is a user sadly no longer on this site that it used to drive her up the wall 

 

I get why, I was fuming. Especially given how much effort support seemed to put in to keeping me away from the site too in taking one side of the story, giving me no chance to explain and giving me no evidence where I'd apparently asked someone for paid services.

[VK****]

56 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

I get why, I was fuming. Especially given how much effort support seemed to put in to keeping me away from the site too in taking one side of the story, giving me no chance to explain and giving me no evidence where I'd apparently asked someone for paid services.

I've seen this in action too. Several friends booted off with eons of 'service' and zillions of interactions. One who was extremely active in Chat, daily, fell out with someone who disrespected the Chat rules, as did others who joined in on their side. Picked up one more penalty point and got a life ban. After intense lobbying by the other chat friends, they were reinstated. Another was given the 'upgrade' to the Findom site, some German word that from memory means 'pay me'. Seen several go this way for the most trivial reasons and take a very rich history and a lot of friendships with them.

There seems to be very little common sense applied during the judgements here. Should an InCel be allowed to rage and make up fabricated stories against a multi-year A grade contributor? Of course not... but it happens.
 

[Ka****]

1 hour ago, VKD said:

I've seen this in action too. Several friends booted off with eons of 'service' and zillions of interactions. One who was extremely active in Chat, daily, fell out with someone who disrespected the Chat rules, as did others who joined in on their side. Picked up one more penalty point and got a life ban. After intense lobbying by the other chat friends, they were reinstated. Another was given the 'upgrade' to the Findom site, some German word that from memory means 'pay me'. Seen several go this way for the most trivial reasons and take a very rich history and a lot of friendships with them.

There seems to be very little common sense applied during the judgements here. Should an InCel be allowed to rage and make up fabricated stories against a multi-year A grade contributor? Of course not... but it happens.
 

Thats the site I was told to go too! I can't remember the name either but yeah, I reckon they're AI at the least but most probably auto. Shame they dont take such harsh action on members who are clearly here only to be disrespectful :(

[VK****]

27 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

Thats the site I was told to go too! I can't remember the name either but yeah, I reckon they're AI at the least but most probably auto. Shame they dont take such harsh action on members who are clearly here only to be disrespectful

Yep... just looked it up. KaufMich.de which is "Buy Me", same idea as pay me. It's an escort site. So the immoral of the story is that if you hint at anything remotely commercial, your profile is shunted over to their sex worker affiliate, whether you agree to it or not. 

[ey****]

6 hours ago, VKD said:

Yep... just looked it up. KaufMich.de which is "Buy Me", same idea as pay me. It's an escort site. So the immoral of the story is that if you hint at anything remotely commercial, your profile is shunted over to their sex worker affiliate, whether you agree to it or not. 

yeah in the olden days, they were more welcome - in fact arguably the early history of this site was kind of like a "Domme Directory" for Pro Dommes, especially popular in Germany, and over time, of course rules changed and they all got kicked off.