A paradox: Enjoying femdom porn but not in real life?

[A_Switch]

I like watching different femdom acts from soft to hard and I mostly enjoy it, yet when I tried several times in real life with dominatrices I don't enjoy it and I find it meaningless.
On the other hand and when it comes to vanilla what turns me on in porn, does the same in real life. Any explanations ?!

[Deleted Member]

I feel a similar thing. I love femdom fantasies, but due to my paranoia and need for control, I'd never submit to any real person.

[ey****]

because sometimes, well, sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.

And it could well be that you enjoy it more being done to other people than yourself 

[Ky****]

I'm the opposite, things I enjoy being done to me I dislike watching on video, or that may just be I'm jealous of the sub and so want it to be me that's restrained and thrashed that it spoils the enjoyment

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

I'm the opposite, things I enjoy being done to me I dislike watching on video, or that may just be I'm jealous of the sub and so want it to be me that's restrained and thrashed that it spoils the enjoyment

that figures

I've had this convo before with folk that I generally do not watch Femdom porn (unless it's a POV - or, sometimes if it's a Femsub where I actively like the Femsub) I dunno, I guess I don't like men in my porn

Unless it's me

[Ky****]

@eyemblacksheep now you've said it, POV does change things for me as well, 

[BaritoneSwitch]

14 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

that figures

I've had this convo before with folk that I generally do not watch Femdom porn (unless it's a POV - or, sometimes if it's a Femsub where I actively like the Femsub) I dunno, I guess I don't like men in my porn

Unless it's me

I feel much the same way, I think its because if I'm going to be watching someone who isn't me, I'd rather watch someone that I'm attracted to. Although sometimes I'll listen to femdom clips with a guy without video if I like listening to the way she tops him verbally. Oh and on a related subject:
 

On 9/1/2020 at 2:28 AM, A_Switch said:

I like watching different femdom acts from soft to hard and I mostly enjoy it, yet when I tried several times in real life with dominatrices I don't enjoy it and I find it meaningless.
On the other hand and when it comes to vanilla what turns me on in porn, does the same in real life. Any explanations ?!

I wonder if your attraction to Femdom porn but not participating is sort of another kink altogether. A specific sort of Voyeurism maybe? Like for instance, would you have any interest in watching someone else's Femdom scene live?

Edited October 21, 2020 by BaritoneSub
Spelling

[A_Switch]

On 10/21/2020 at 6:49 AM, BaritoneSub said:

I feel much the same way, I think its because if I'm going to be watching someone who isn't me, I'd rather watch someone that I'm attracted to. Although sometimes I'll listen to femdom clips with a guy without video if I like listening to the way she tops him verbally. Oh and on a related subject:
 

I wonder if your attraction to Femdom porn but not participating is sort of another kink altogether. A specific sort of Voyeurism maybe? Like for instance, would you have any interest in watching someone else's Femdom scene live?

That is another point of view and perhaps it is another kind of kink as you said. I may be interested in watching it in real life but with the interest of the dom being an attractive female along with the activities or *** to the sub. But I never have/had interest in watching the sub or even males, never interests me. Me as a man never found males attractive in any way
On another note I like watching femdom with females dominating males but not that into Lezdom where a female dominates another female. Yet I like male dominating females.
I was never able to understand those preferences.

[A_Switch]

On 10/19/2020 at 11:29 AM, SidoraxVonCreep said:

I feel a similar thing. I love femdom fantasies, but due to my paranoia and need for control, I'd never submit to any real person.

I would encourage you to try it in real life to overcome the paranoia. A lot of things are different when experienced and expectations vary a lot.

For me I though having sessions with dominatrices would be nice but I was disappointed. And trust me I have tried several ones with different activities. So I guess it was a fantasy but not for me.

[A_Switch]

On 10/19/2020 at 11:43 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

because sometimes, well, sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.

And it could well be that you enjoy it more being done to other people than yourself 

Yes I do think it is a fantasy.

[Nuncy]

I am not into men I think that's the point of that kink. I could be way off but that's why my ex loved it .