Does your role leak into your life?

[my****]

There are plenty of powerful people who use submission as an escape. In my experience there are a disproportionate number of nurses who are also submissives. I don’t have a theory on why it’s just an observation. My question do you ever notice your role creeping into your normal life?

For example, I am a very easy going man who works in a job that modulates between high and low stress. I’m sure any of you could relate. When I have one or two jobs in front of me, I’m fine three jobs and I get focused. After the fourth job my dominant nature comes out and I get hyper focused. I order rather than ask, and I “punish” people who fall short of maintaining focus to accomplish the task and praise those who do. I have even been known to manage my supervisor and even the owner of the company. None of this is obnoxious, humiliating, it’s just that part of me that demands discipline.

Can you relate?

[Gi****]

What if it's nothing to do with sexual appetite?
Sounds like sigma M.O

[my****]

Thank you to the mod who fixed roll to role. I was trying to edit, trying to delete it, but I’m glad someone was looking out for me.

[my****]

22 minutes ago, Gilly222 said:

What if it's nothing to do with sexual appetite?
Sounds like sigma M.O

There is more to the lifestyle than sex.

[Gi****]

Wow
Good luck

[ey****]

I think we all got lots in our lives which is transferable into other areas.   And there's stuff I would not say is correct or incorrect.  But also - I've seen plenty of people whose vibe has been "I am a good manager/supervisor/whatever at work THEREFORE I would be a good Dominant" or vice versa.  And they're making assumptions.

Whereas a lot of the archetypical big-spending submissive is usually someone who is in a powerful position in work.  

I think a lot of people often look for correllation that isn't actually there.

But sometimes, when I do mention things being transferable - it's important not to cherry pick what you transfer.  Like, in private life a submissive is giving consent for punishment, rewards, etc.  Your work colleagues are not.   You do not have a dynamic with them. Like in the kink scene we have the "I might be a sub, but I'm not your sub" and this is important outside of it.  

[Cr****]

Thats how I got fired from build-a-bear

[Deleted Member]

I always liked to get orders. Never minded, or actually preferred having a superior/group leader/etc.
But then again, people change based on self worth. Im not yet sure, if roles are really fix and therefor have a correlation to work/ non-kink-life behaviour.
Like, if being able to take charge or be dominant can be learned.
I always looked out for someone to tell me what to do and when to do it- Both in kink and real life
Lately it changed, since i‘ve taken responsibility for my own actions and got less afraid of making mistakes.
But the change has not yet transferred into my Submissive tendencies

[Sw****]

I’m always a brat so 🤷‍♀️

[my****]

2 hours ago, Cranked_Delta said:

Thats how I got fired from build-a-bear

That was funny.

[Ex****]

It can at times, yes.

[Ka****]

3 hours ago, mythicalman said:

There is more to the lifestyle than sex.

Thank you!! Someone that seems to actually understand this!

[om****]

I know this too well. But it has more to do with ethics, especially workethic. My parents gave me the task to clean the dishes in kindergarten. I did it, did not complain and finished. Lesson learned. You have to do something and later get your reward. We have learned to give the orders. The nurses learned to accept the orders. Make sense?

[Um****]

It is my belief that Dominance has nothing to do with the desire to punish others. As a Sadist I am not punishing the masochist, I am giving them that which they desire, the act of which is something I enjoy. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. As a Dominant my job is not to punish my submissive, but to create the environment needed to cultivate submission, and make the desire to follow my lead. Punishing your partner implies a series infraction of the rules you both agreed on, it is not meant to be enjoyable by either side. You do not need some imaginary infraction to engage in kink, if you want to spank your partner, tell them to bend over, if you want your partner to spank you, beg. It’s not a difficult concept.

Now that that is out of the way, success in a specific role can be increased or decreased depending on what side of the slash you reside. Not because of being better, but because the way you are hardwired gives you an edge. In service oriented jobs, submissives thrive and Dominants often feel drained. In leadership/managerial jobs, Dominants often have an edge as they are hardwired to “Do” and “take charge” , whereas submissives will often feel drained. These are not absolutes, but they can be telling. We are naturally drawn to roles that suit how we are wired whether submissive or dominant, if we follow that draw, success is easier than going against it.

[Pa****]

Absolutely! Now imagine you're a pleasure dom in entertainment/customer service... It can lead to some...ahem...interesting interactions

[da****]

Yep and I get called names for it because I’m so bratty that it overlaps my life 100000000%

[pi****]

Yep, I use my voice all day to flirt with women of all ages. I often have been asked to come to people's homes, a date, my number etc. women of all ages.


As a Dom, I generally do as I'm told mostly by my bosses who as a Dom I largely see as inferior 🤣... But, at work I will take charge when talking to a member of the public and correct them.
Its the whole meek and able to take control at any given moment...dynamic I guess.

[Vi****]

This is an interesting question ⁉️ I recently spoke with a "Daddy Dom" and I have never experienced a Daddy before. I did however enjoy the dialogue on the phone.
He told me that if we were to have this dynamic in person.... The "lifestyle" means that we would have to be in this way no matter where we were. Even in public.

I was uncomfortable with taking this role play outside the bedroom. I don't want to see me behave submission in public.
I said I think we should leave it in the privacy of the bedroom but he was trying to convince me that is what everyone does.
I felt like I was being manipulated so I declined to meet.
I'm curious to hear thoughts, experiences, or feedback on this scenario

[da****]

10 minutes ago, ViciouslilBitch said:

This is an interesting question ⁉️ I recently spoke with a "Daddy Dom" and I have never experienced a Daddy before. I did however enjoy the dialogue on the phone.
He told me that if we were to have this dynamic in person.... The "lifestyle" means that we would have to be in this way no matter where we were. Even in public.

I was uncomfortable with taking this role play outside the bedroom. I don't want to see me behave submission in public.
I said I think we should leave it in the privacy of the bedroom but he was trying to convince me that is what everyone does.
I felt like I was being manipulated so I declined to meet.
I'm curious to hear thoughts, experiences, or feedback on this scenario

So consent is key if in a public setting he should be toned down on the daddy dom little stuff because not everyone will be ok with seeing that part of the lifestyle nore did they consent to it, it is possible to maintain a certain level of role play with out it being obvious to others but I think you did the right thing as it could be a big red flag already talking about maintaining that role in public before you even meet

[Vi****]

18 minutes ago, dale46805 said:

So consent is key if in a public setting he should be toned down on the daddy dom little stuff because not everyone will be ok with seeing that part of the lifestyle nore did they consent to it, it is possible to maintain a certain level of role play with out it being obvious to others but I think you did the right thing as it could be a big red flag already talking about maintaining that role in public before you even meet

Thank you for explaining that perfectly. I appreciate your feedback.

[Submissive_summer]

My submissive side never leaks into normal day to day life... that's reserved for one Man who brings that out in me... however I do feel like the my casual thinking (that kink is socially accepted everywhere to everyone) can creep in... I can forget not everyone sees kink normalised as I do... The lines can blur but never my traits as a submissive...