Death by Delusion

[Deleted Member]

She was possibly the loneliest fairy in the world. What with her grey complexion, like ash, and her wings as black as emptiness. She wondered if she had always appeared this way, as she gazed with her deceptive emerald eyes into the murky polluted river of her reflection. She thought she remembered a time when there was at least a rainbow of colour beating in her chest. Maybe it was hope. It looked like it had gone for good this time.

 

Of course she had been here before. Recovering in her solitude. Vowing to never let anyone through the vast thicket wall of her forest.

 

For she was cursed.

 

Cursed with a knowing and a seeing. And how could she keep hold of hope when she had to know and see the darkness of Truth.

 

And the curse that would ultimately destroy her, was also the thing that drew the lost with their brief intrigue. For she could create the visions of their dreams and very deepest desires. If you dared to glance into her eyes long enough. She would see and feel you and make all the visions you wanted to see. It was enchanting. And she would thrive for a while, at the adoration she received.

 

But nothing lasted. Because visions are empty without being.

 

So she conspired to build a thicket wall that could never be penetrated. She could not believe in love, so thought a spell that would banish any power other than true love would keep her safe from harm.

 

But a lost and lonely man stumbled in his search upon her thicket wall. He fell down to rest. He was tired and needed to heal. But instead of healing, he laid his head against the full and luscious leaves he could not penetrate and he began to see. A vision distracted him from his needs.

 

He tried to push through the wall to reveal what lay in the forest behind it. But the thicket was too thick, too prickly, and too tall. Unable to move on from the vision he had seen he laid down his head and cried.

 

As the tears fell, an opening appeared in the thicket wall. Forgetting all about his plan to heal, the man climbed through.

 

And for a while it was beautiful. He adored all the things that she could create with her vision. All his dreams set to prose. And she looked into his eyes and she felt love.  Because what else could it have been that had broken her spell, if it was not love? He would ***t her pictures and tell her all the things she had always needed to hear. They were united in the now of their visions. 

So why did she still feel alone?

She was a see-er and a knower afterall. What was it that she began to recognise when she gazed into her lover’s eyes?

Time passed and the man ached for a world and the healing he had never completed. The visions would never be enough. She would never leave her forest. And he would never stay.

She began to ache at her own dark image everytime she saw herself in his eyes.

 

She was not enough.  

 

She was all vision and ***. A soul used up for what she could show. It had already been too late. It had always been too late.

 

Tired of trying. Tired of knowing. She banished the man.

He left without a fight. Went off to heal. Like he should have done in the beginning. Before he got lost, or distracted, or whatever it was.

 

The thicket mended itself. It grew taller and thicker and more prickly than before.

 

But why had it opened in the first place? Why had she believed in the man’s love?

 

Because she was a knower. She knew he had loved. Yet he had loved her vision and not her being. Her visions were an empty game of charades. They were nothing more than delusional fancies.

And as delusion died, she was alone again.

 

But maybe she always had been?

 

And as she looked at her the emerald green of her eyes in the murky relfection of the river. She saw the man’s ***tbrushes littering the wildflower beds.

 

She took the brushes and stabbed out each of her eyes.

So at least she would see no more.  Even if she had to know. 

 

And perhaps without seeing eyes, no one would evey seek her visions again.

 

 

[Fe****]

Stopped dead in my tracks again! Thank you, your words.....thank you!
Big tribeVibe🙏

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, FenSWitches said:

Stopped dead in my tracks again! Thank you, your words.....thank you!
Big tribeVibe🙏

It means so much to this world weary soul when people like my humble words 😌

[Fe****]

2 minutes ago, Messedup79 said:

It means so much to this world weary soul when people like my humble words 😌

@Messedup79 as a fellow weary traveller,to find words like yours ,reaching up from the dark trails we tread,illuminating journey's chaos.

a beautiful ,selfless act of humble healing,touching people's souls with your words.........blessed be🙏

[Wo****]

@Messedup79 This is stunning!!

Talking to Fen about it, he's just said "I wanna read it with my eyes closed so I can relish the images the words conjure in my minds eye"

 

You're a special soul, you really are. 🙏

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, Bounty said:

@Messedup79 This is stunning!!

Talking to Fen about it, he's just said "I wanna read it with my eyes closed so I can relish the images the words conjure in my minds eye"

 

You're a special soul, you really are. 🙏

I wish that was what people thought after experiencing me 😞

 

Maybe we should organise a poetry and pride night. We could get people to take to the mic whilst everyone else closes their eyes... and inhales words and ***? 
 

thanks as always for your kindness 😊

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, FenSWitches said:

@Messedup79 as a fellow weary traveller,to find words like yours ,reaching up from the dark trails we tread,illuminating journey's chaos.

a beautiful ,selfless act of humble healing,touching people's souls with your words.........blessed be🙏

Thanks for your kindness. I have mostly been told my words are self indulgent and self pitying and that poetry is verbose and pompous.

Glad they weren’t wasted here x

[La****]

Interesting. Her reaction was a tad extreme though, couldn't she have used leafs as a blindfold? 🤔

[Deleted Member]

@Messedup79 I can only echo @Bounty and say that this is stunning! 
I don't think it was self indulgent at all. I FEEL it when I read the words. Thank you. 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for your kindness ☺️