Kink Shaming

[de****]

Im curious to know how, because I know it’s happened to some people on here, how have you dealt with being kink shamed.
Not too long ago I was subject to someone looking down on me for wanting to explore caning and some more hardcore scenes
I guess my question is, how did you deal with it?
This is a free space, please keep It respectful. If you don’t agree with someone say so but keep it civil.

[Iceland1309]

Story of my life ! When I speak on my kink with other women they say I’m insecure and I’m doing it for my boyfriend. But I’m really not ! I really enjoy being a cuckquean ! I usually suppress it and never talk about it .

[Sweetestsadist]

A good reply is "I don't understand a lot of kinks. Even though they're not for me, it doesn't mean they're less important for someone else. There's no need to yuck someone else's yum."

[ke****]

I'm into that shit

[wo****]

I haven’t. I think my kinks are on the more vanilla side of the spectrum, which might be a factor in people being less likely to shame it. I also try to discern the other person’s degree of open mindedness as part of the process. There are plenty of things I won’t do, but my kinks are something that I am fine with not incorporating if the other person isn’t into it. That’s especially true if it’s a casual or short term thing.
I learned the hard way many years ago that approaching a long term relationship without figuring out compatibility with kinks and many other things with specificity can lead to lots of problems.

[Mo****]

I simply blocked them. Many tried to shame my interest to explore dominance simply because I wasn't interested in them. I won't lie, it can shake you confidence for a sec to be attacked that way. But finding a like-minded individuals, your tribe, helps.

[ke****]

Don't let their lack of understanding impinge on your freedom kink is the sexual equivalent of freedom be free

[de****]

44 minutes ago, Iceland1309 said:

Story of my life ! When I speak on my kink with other women they say I’m insecure and I’m doing it for my boyfriend. But I’m really not ! I really enjoy being a cuckquean ! I usually suppress it and never talk about it .

I e always wanted to watch my wife with another. Shes too vanilla though

[Deleted Member]

Ignore them

[ke****]

No ignore me I'll like that lol

[Am****]

Ignore them, everyone is into something different. Also their loss if they won’t enjoy some fun kinky freaky sexl

[sardonicus87]

I haven't personally been kink shamed, but I have seen others on other sites be kink shamed for having my same kinks, or having accusations thrown that "nobody would agree to that, must be abvse/traff*cking/whatever". It's a pretty common occurrence for anyone into anything beyond "a little slap and tickle", and I guess kind of counts as kink shaming to me. And I guess too I have had, in the past, people go out of their way (not here, a different site) to message me and accuse me of being an abvser or something, even though I've never done anything without consent and they don't know me or anyone I've ever known, just because of what my role and kinks are.

What I have encountered personally that's kind of in the same realm as shaming, is couples who don't read my profile, reach out to me, then get mad I am not interested in them as a couple. "So.what, you only want the wives?" Yeah, sure, whatever dude, you're the one that messaged me after not reading my profile. But it's the level of entitlement and personal offense they take about it, as if I am somehow in the wrong.

[Cade]

There unfortunately isn't a lot to be done about it, directly. I find that the type of person that will kink shame is also typically the type to not listen to any information that doesn't fit the narrative. You can give facts and evidence until blue in the face, and it won't change anything for them.

What you can do though, is try to be a good example of your lifestyle, dynamic, and interests. Keep moving forward, leaving those that kink shame locked in their tiny box. Enjoy life, and make them wonder why you (and your partners) are so damn happy while they stay miserably judgemental.

[un****]

Tbh, kink shaming usually comes from people who aren't part of the scene or just kinda close-minded, try not to let it get to you too much.
If it's someone close to you, it's worth setting boundaries, tell them you don't appreciate that kind of attitude and if you feel up for it, maybe suggest they learn a bit about healthy, open convo around sex and kink 🫶🏻

[Fl****]

There is a lot of that everywhere you go.
How i deal with it? IDC about opinions and live my life the way I like it. Remember opinions are like assholes.

[Eb****]

I started to listening to Audio books on Spotify about sexual intelligence. Changed my perspective in many ways

[Qu****]

I tell them to fuck off and go on with my kinkiness!!!

[Bo****]

I tend to stop using the app for a bit

[Ta****]

I always say 1 persons perfum is another persons poison & that is the beauty of the lifestyle so just because its not for me doesnt make it wrong because it is for someone else & im not discussing it further unless they want to learn & try to understand which usually works.

[tr****]

Don’t let it bother you. You are who you regardless of what they think. If they shame you then it helps weed out the people that is not your tribe.

[Ch****]

I personally come from a space of power.
When someone kink shames it's because they are coming from a space of ignorance, trauma or both.

In the past I tried to educate these people but you can't have butterfly conversations with caterpillars.

Depending upon the level of shaming going on and the language/tone I would consider reporting them, blocking them if possible and then move on.

I think it's always important to touch base with ourselves after these encounters because we can at times take that shame on board. So always remember that there as long as everyone is of a consenting age, that informed consent is received from all parties then there should never be any shame in any of the kinks that resonate with you💙

[Sl****]

This really hits my soul.
I afford anyone who wants a safe place to share their taboos - thats what selflessness is about.
These kink sites are built with the premise of letting all of us feel safe to amplify and share our own as w seek like minded people.
I still have no idea whether or how to respond when random numb skulls try to shame through their weak minded anonymity. It’s fooked up that people would actually shame someone’s kink on a site to celebrate consensual kinks.

How dare anyone make snide comments regarding what we seek from another partner. They’re the worst scum on these sites. You’ll NEVER hear me say what I find repulsive about ANYONE here.

[Sl****]

4 minutes ago, Slave2WhiteWomen said:

This really hits my soul.
I afford anyone who wants a safe place to share their taboos - thats what selflessness is about.
These kink sites are built with the premise of letting all of us feel safe to amplify and share our own as w seek like minded people.
I still have no idea whether or how to respond when random numb skulls try to shame through their weak minded anonymity. It’s fooked up that people would actually shame someone’s kink on a site to celebrate consensual kinks.

How dare anyone make snide comments regarding what we seek from another partner. They’re the worst scum on these sites. You’ll NEVER hear me say what I find repulsive about ANYONE here.

PS: I might have NO repulsion regarding the kinks here TBQH. What I love is seeing people seeking a place to be safe. That’s what I love here. But the repulsion are always the attacks, insensitive and hideous comments. People engaging in shaming are the ugliest most disgusting things ever.

[La****]

How you deal with them is just to leave them the fuck alone. People will only understand things on their own level of perception anyway. Don’t waste your time and go explore your interest with like minded people. No need to try to change someone’s mind. Focus on the present and what you can achieve in the near future.