For years I thought that meant fetish wear was not for me. I wore the same things to kink events that I wore to goth clubs and looked damn good, but I felt like I was missing out on something. Over time, I've managed to build up a collection of tips, tricks, and favorite garments that mean I don't just look hot at play parties - I also look kinky. So, here are my tips!
There's more than one way to wear leather and latex. If you don't feel comfortable in entirely skintight and form-fitting garments, you don't have to wear them. Look out for things cut in ways that you already know suit you. Plenty of outlets that sell plus-size BDSM clothing have options for dresses with A-line skirts and sweetheart necklines, for example - and that's a shape that looks good on everyone.
You could also try long skirts made of traditional fetish fabrics paired with a top made of something else. Remember that materials like these are not the be-all and end-all of fetish wear. Sheer fabrics are incredibly flattering and incredibly sexy on plus-size BDSM clothing. A floor-length chemise gown made of lace or material so light it's practically transparent looks terrific over the right underwear.
Plus-size BDSM clothing is not a mysterious, uncharted new frontier. You already know what you look and feel good in, and you can translate that knowledge pretty well with a little effort.
If you get underwear right, you don't necessarily need a lot else. My standard play party attire is a 1950s-style bra, matching high-waisted knickers, a six-strap suspender belt, and stockings. On top of it all, I usually wear some sort of low-cut, floor-length sheer black chemise with a high thigh split.
Finish this plus-size BDSM clothing look with winged eyeliner, red lipstick, and a pair of devastatingly sexy high heels, and I look pretty incredible if I say so myself. If you can find them, plus-size fetish stockings are a huge boon; you look a hundred times better once the tops aren't cutting into your thighs and trying to roll down. When choosing a suspender belt, ensure you get one with at least six straps - the standard four-strap ones are rubbish, especially for plus-size women. Always go for metal clips over plastic ones, as they grip better and won't come undone as the night wears on.
High heels get plus-size BDSM clothing off to a kicking start. Image: Denis Kadackii / Dollar Photo Club via Flickr with CC BY 2.0 license
We all know by now how important it is to get a bra that fits properly - but you should also look for ones with wide back bands. These are a lot more comfortable, have a more classic look, and are generally a great deal more flattering for anyone who feels self-conscious.
Avoid thongs with plus-size BDSM clothing unless you happen to love them. They're uncomfortable, dreadfully unflattering, and I don't find them anything as sexy as a more retro full brief style. Most people also feel a lot more confident in sheer fabrics and exposed underwear if they know they can keep some parts of their anatomy covered up for as long as they want.
Road-testing an outfit before an event is often disheartening. However, that's not necessarily because you don't look good in what you've chosen - you're not getting the whole picture. You can't accurately tell what you'll look like in plus-size BDSM clothing until you've done your hair and makeup, put on your jewelry, and chosen the right pair of shoes. Don't let an unfinished look put you off the clothes you want to wear!
You'll have heard this before, but it's accurate enough to bear repeating. Looking fabulous isn't about what dress size you wear, how tall you are, or how carefully you've honed your makeup skills. If you step into a room knowing that you look incredible in your fetish wear, everyone in that room will instinctively agree with you.
Posture makes a big difference in how flattering an outfit is. You'll always look better standing up straight with your shoulders back than if you're slumped and hunched over - this is true whether you're wearing jeans and a t-shirt, a shiny latex dress, or absolutely nothing!
Abi Brown is a freelance writer and general pen-for-hire devoted to sexual deviancy and wearing too much jewelry.
Where are your favorite outlets for plus-size BDSM clothing? Do you have other tips for finding the perfect outfit, no matter your size? Share your thoughts in the Fetish.com forum.
Cover image: via Shutterstock.com
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