Body shaming is everywhere. Whether it’s advertising, health guidance, in the media – or even friends and family commenting on our bodies – it can feel like the world's against you as a fat person. The kink world, however, is known for its open-mindedness and acceptance, and fat positivity is proof of that. Victoria Blisse talks about fat positivity and kink, as well as her own experiences on the fetish scene.

 

What is fat positivity?

It may seem obvious, but fat positivity is all about accepting a fat person for who they are. Although it shouldn't be such a big ask, body shaming is so ingrained in western society that it’s important to actively promote body confidence in mainstream culture. Nobody should be subjected to scorn or ridicule because of their size. Fat people should have the same rights and access as everyone else. 
 

Being a fat person on the kink scene

The kink scene is, in general, an accepting place. Body confidence is cherished, even celebrated. As a fat person myself, I was nervous about showing off flesh when I first attended BDSM and fetish events. But to my surprise, being fat was never an issue. The fetish scene attracts all kinds of people in all shapes and sizes, and fat positivity is a testament to its inclusivity. Having a good time and getting kinky is all that matters! After dipping my toes into the fetish waters, it soon felt strange to keep my clothes on. I felt comfortable in my own skin in this wonderful world.  

I’m now as happy being naked at a fetish club as I am in my own home. My journey towards self-acceptance and body confidence is, in large part, thanks to the kink world. Still, there are some misconceptions and stereotypes about fat people on the fetish scene. For example, it's commonly thought that a fat person can't do as much because of their size, but that's not true in most cases. 
 

Plus size woman into BDSM
Fat people often feel welcomed into the kink scene. 
 

Impact play

It's not all about body confidence. Fleshy areas of the body are the safest areas of the body for impact play. More flesh equals bigger surface area – it’s as simple as that! This means that a fat person can be hit in more areas for a longer duration, and often times, more intensely. Those interested in impact play should always be risk aware, of course, but being a fat person can be a gift, not a hindrance. Impact on the stomach is still riskier than on the bottom, but when the belly is lovely and big and soft, you can beat it more easily than a skinny one!  
 

Shibari and Rope

Photos of rope bunnies usually portray a misconception that you have to be young, thin, and bendy to rope properly. This is not true in the slightest. Fat people can be rope bunnies too, duh! If you're a fat person, you might just need more rope and try a few different ties that take into account your unique body size. Suspension is possible too, and don't be told otherwise! If a rigger tells you differently, then they're simply not the rigger for you. In fact, don’t let anyone tell you something is impossible because of your size. There's always a way.  

 

Fat fetish – Is it okay?

Some people get turned on by fat people. Often, though, it's the fat itself that gets them going, not necessarily the person. This is not the same thing as fat positivity. We'll never fetish shame here at Fetish.com, but always remember to ask a fat person for their consent in your kink. Every person should be treated like a human being, not just as a way to get a fetish fix. 
 

Feederism

The same goes for feederism, also known as the weight gaining fetish. Consent is particularly important with this kink. As long as everyone involved is on the same page and aware of the risks, then a weight gaining fetish can be enjoyed by all parties. Feeders and feedees can enjoy their fetish without shame or guilt.  
 

Article Image Template - Fetish.com (2).png
It's important to actively champion fat positivity. 


How to actively champion fat positivity in kink

It’s easy, really. Respect fat people. Anti-fat sentiment is so hardwired into society, it can be hard to recognize at times. So, here are some ways to combat body shaming within the fetish community, and in day-to-day life too!  

  • Carry extra rope if you're into shibari, and try tying a fat person if you never have before
  • If you hear someone body shame or say something derogatory about a fat person, stand up for them 
  • Don’t talk about being too fat or needing to diet in front of a fat person
  • Don’t assume a fat person’s needs and preferences, just ask them! They might be different from other people. 

It can be difficult to challenge personal preconceptions, but actively working to be more fat positive is worth it. There’s a soft world of curves and kinks out there to be explored! 


Republished: 11 August 2022


Victoria Blisse is an erotic author, a sex-positive Reverend and part of Smut.UK who arranges events for curious and kinky people with a literary bent.
 

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All images (unless otherwise stated) via Shutterstock

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Li****

Posted

On 10/25/2022 at 2:20 PM, RosesHaveThorns75 said:

If you actually understand the post & the aims of this site it's about being pro-diversity pro-education pro-humane it's for humans to learn more respect for one another!!!  ect which seems to the reason that fetish.com exists 🤔 it's already educated me a lot ❤️ hope it continues to do so!!!

Why is it that we are asked to accept obesity as opposed to actively warning about the health implications of carrying excess fat??

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RosesHaveThorns75

Posted

On 10/17/2020 at 3:08 PM, Deleted profile said:

I don't think it's being celebrated, more an article of acceptance that we are what we are and maybe a hint that we should try harder to just be plain nice to each other. Let's face it peeps are bullied and bullied horribly for things like this, how is that right? It's just not, and can destroy what little confidence a person has. Maybe we just need to try a little harder, all of us, as none are perfect 

If you actually understand the post & the aims of this site it's about being pro-diversity pro-education pro-humane it's for humans to learn more respect for one another!!!  ect which seems to the reason that fetish.com exists 🤔 it's already educated me a lot ❤️ hope it continues to do so!!!

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RosesHaveThorns75

Posted

On 10/17/2020 at 11:45 AM, quietlysure said:

So "thin" people never have health problems, and nobody's suggesting we live unhealthily,

Funny these skinny joggers so super fit they can run marathons 🤔 have seen on the media that they can suddenly drop dead of heart attacks 

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RosesHaveThorns75

Posted (edited)

On 8/12/2022 at 9:43 PM, Deleted profile said:

Not the same risks. And since this is the topic, the others aren't relevant. Nobody needs to live in a monastery, just to live sensibly - if they want to maximise life expectancy and avoid serious illness. Which is not to say one has to do these things - but self-delusion isn't an option. 

What are your actual qualifications & certificates in health care & weight management's?!? You obviously have a lot of personal experience with working with overweight clients in your chosen profession as a healthcare assistant.....seeming as your so full of knowledge & statistics I can only presume you work for the NHS or similar & are in fact a nurse?!? Hence your obvious concerns.....You obviously do have genuine health concerns due to your job for the members on here now I see why you've done these posts on fetish.com!! 🤔

Edited by RosesHaveThorns75
Missing phrase

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RosesHaveThorns75

Posted

On 8/12/2022 at 4:13 PM, Chloebear said:

Just as we should be able to live our lives without your interference, and your assertion that it’s self harm is most certainly judgemental. Many on here have said they embrace their body size. That is not self harm. It is acceptance. 
 

Actually the reasons can be myriad, from illness, to medication to disability… labelling weight gain as self harm is a damaging sentiment. If anything, it is a form of self comfort, which is reactionary to perceived harm, not unlike the comments you make. There are many behaviours like this. It’s why making larger people feel ashamed of their size will likely achieve the opposite of what you state is your aim. Increasing someone’s self esteem will make them more likely to take care of themselves after all. If we don’t care about ourselves, would we care for ourselves?

To be clear, I explain this to highlight the holes in your approach. Many bigger people now accept their frames, love themselves as they are and good. I wish it had been the same when I was younger. Many things can alter my lifespan, I could get hit by a car tomorrow. Not all of us want to be 70. I don’t have kids, my parents wont outlive me (really?!)… yea I’ll selfishly sacrifice ten years for cake. The economy needs us to live shorter lives honestly… maybe you should have some pizza and think a little more about the pension schemes etc. 

Totally agree with the whole tone of your peice & your attitude(s) too 😎👍 quality of life personal happiness do count greatly especially in such an unkind society why would I want to be skinny just to live longer in a society full of misogyny & hate crime?!? 💀😆 Everyday I hear economic gloom so my food purchases good/bad are probably helping to prop up the failing economys 🍕😆

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Posted

This is all correct for women, but for men it's an entirely different experience.

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Li****

Posted

Just to say.  Yes, being obese has statistically poor outcomes but contrary to popular belief that it is a choice is plain wrong. There are myriad reasons (75% of them genetic - read "Why we eat (too much)" by Dr Andrew Jenkinson, a London-based bariatric surgeon). There has been a metastudy into possible causes for the increasing global rise of obesity and to date no clear cause has been found. Since the explosion in the 80s we ate eating less sugar and calories than 100 years ago. We move about the same. The new theory is hyperprocessed food consumption but it is just a theory at the moment.  Obese people are not to blame for their body's very persuasive attempts to overconsume. We need to find solutions for those that want them. Some people are happy being obese and that's okay too.

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Posted

2 hours ago, LonDom83 said:

According to popular (or, at least, a) theory, the only way to get inclusiveness is to exclude those who don't want it. Paradoxical shenanigans!

I'm all for it. Paradoxical, no?

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Lo****

Posted

6 hours ago, wicklowdom said:

Ok, every single word of this response relates to your preconceptions and has nothing to do with me. And it's pretty rich to talk about being inclusive when you can't cope with differing opinions and demand to know why I am here at all. What's my 'propogandas' by the way? 

According to popular (or, at least, a) theory, the only way to get inclusiveness is to exclude those who don't want it. Paradoxical shenanigans!

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Posted

9 hours ago, RosesHaveThorns75 said:

There is also a growing health concern for mental & emotional well being and a serious risk of illness such as anxiety loneliness depression self hate ect manifesting for those who get judged shamed degraded isolated & condemned socially by others who refuse to support accept or relate to others that they deem as different undeserving or inferior because of their own issues social prejudice or media targeting....... ☹️ the long term risks for those being bullied also include self harm isolation long term mental illness and it's also implicated in suicidal ideation/intentions because being judged condemned or bullied through societal eXpectations puts eXtra stress on those who may already have genetic health conds or be prone to mental health conds hereditary or otherwise......compassion self care & respect are all essential factors in human health!! We are individualls not robots statistics or numbers to be judged owned & controlled by others who don't know us!!!

People are bullied and excluded for a variety of reasons. I've already addressed the genetic health conditions meme - for the most part it's nonsense, a self-justifying excuse. 

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Chloebear

Posted

8 hours ago, RosesHaveThorns75 said:

There is also a growing health concern for mental & emotional well being and a serious risk of illness such as anxiety loneliness depression self hate ect manifesting for those who get judged shamed degraded isolated & condemned socially by others who refuse to support accept or relate to others that they deem as different undeserving or inferior because of their own issues social prejudice or media targeting....... ☹️ the long term risks for those being bullied also include self harm isolation long term mental illness and it's also implicated in suicidal ideation/intentions because being judged condemned or bullied through societal eXpectations puts eXtra stress on those who may already have genetic health conds or be prone to mental health conds hereditary or otherwise......compassion self care & respect are all essential factors in human health!! We are individualls not robots statistics or numbers to be judged owned & controlled by others who don't know us!!!

I don’t like this post… I love it! Well said. People aren’t statistics on a page 💖

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Posted

7 hours ago, RosesHaveThorns75 said:

So if your fat shaming size shaming & quite cold & clinical why did you even read this article?!? Clear conflict of interests ☹️ You obviously believe in social judgements and don't really care about social education and inclusion just statistics because it makes you feel superior  🙀 The overall theme of this site is Fetish and peeps into that come in all shapes & sizes why do you care how other people live their lives or what body they are in?!? The site aims to be inclusive so why are you here then?!? 🤔 you want to control other peeps through statistics or enforce social shame of others through using this site.....?!? If that's your agenda I'm staying well clear of your propogandas women esp thinking they can own & control other women's body's f*ck that on this website 😲

 

 

Ok, every single word of this response relates to your preconceptions and has nothing to do with me. And it's pretty rich to talk about being inclusive when you can't cope with differing opinions and demand to know why I am here at all. What's my 'propogandas' by the way? 

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RosesHaveThorns75

Posted

On 8/14/2022 at 11:23 AM, wicklowdom said:

Health issues cause about 2% of obesity. And your ex-wife's health issues did not cause her weight gain but the medication she was put on. 

Being black, which is not a choice, is not comparable to being obese, which in most cases results from poor choices. 

And bringing in examples of other things which  may or may not have bad outcomes is whataboutery - when confronted with an undeniable fact, the tactic is to say "but look at this other thing over here which is irrelevant to the topic." If you want to start threads discussing these other things, do so. 

I've bucketloads of nice and sympathetic things to say on the subject of being clear-sighted about the risks you take - but a lot of the notions being expressed here are simply self-delusion. 

So if your fat shaming size shaming & quite cold & clinical why did you even read this article?!? Clear conflict of interests ☹️ You obviously believe in social judgements and don't really care about social education and inclusion just statistics because it makes you feel superior  🙀 The overall theme of this site is Fetish and peeps into that come in all shapes & sizes why do you care how other people live their lives or what body they are in?!? The site aims to be inclusive so why are you here then?!? 🤔 you want to control other peeps through statistics or enforce social shame of others through using this site.....?!? If that's your agenda I'm staying well clear of your propogandas women esp thinking they can own & control other women's body's f*ck that on this website 😲

 

 

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RosesHaveThorns75

Posted

On 8/12/2022 at 1:28 PM, wicklowdom said:

There is a clear and demonstrable correlation between excess weight and poor health outcomes.

There is also a growing health concern for mental & emotional well being and a serious risk of illness such as anxiety loneliness depression self hate ect manifesting for those who get judged shamed degraded isolated & condemned socially by others who refuse to support accept or relate to others that they deem as different undeserving or inferior because of their own issues social prejudice or media targeting....... ☹️ the long term risks for those being bullied also include self harm isolation long term mental illness and it's also implicated in suicidal ideation/intentions because being judged condemned or bullied through societal eXpectations puts eXtra stress on those who may already have genetic health conds or be prone to mental health conds hereditary or otherwise......compassion self care & respect are all essential factors in human health!! We are individualls not robots statistics or numbers to be judged owned & controlled by others who don't know us!!!

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Jashine

Posted

Interesting comments here. I think the article is saying ‘accept fat people for who they are’. It has nothing to say about poor choices; it merely enjoins us to accept fat people for who they are. It has nothing to say about health statistics; it merely entreats us to accept fat people for who they are. Accepting fat people for who they are is a matter of courtesy towards other human beings. Accepting fat people for who they are has nothing to do with poor choices and health statistics, which are a subject for fat people themselves to consider (or not): it is a matter of accepting fat people for who they are. Fat people, both men and women (although most of the comments here seem to be directed at women), are people first. If you consider them statistics you are turning them into objects. This militates against accepting fat people for who they are. It may be that the ‘experts’ in this comments section are right about poor choices and health statistics – how do I know for sure, given the contradictions? – but this has nothing to do with accepting fat people for who they are. Acceptance is acceptance. Health statistics are health statistics. Accepting fat people for who they are means no body shaming. As the article says, body shaming is everywhere. It is even in the comments here. So let’s all at least try to accept fat people for who they are, because in the end it is the courteous thing to do.

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Da****

Posted

I have been 140 lb, 340, and now 190 and I am probably the happiest with my body that I have ever been. Am I bigger than a lot of girls, yes, am I smaller than other, yes. Just bc I didnt love myself at 340 does NOT mean other ppl aren’t happy with being 300+ lbs. I am not bi but I do love a confident bigger woman. It gives me power and they just don’t know it bc I look at them and think how BEAUTIFUL they are and I turn it inward and say IF they can love their body so can I. Being in the kink world has really helped my self confidence.
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Posted (edited)

On 8/12/2022 at 3:43 PM, arousalismydrug said:

@wicklowdom that’s the biggest assumption and rationalization for fat-shaming there is. Sometimes it’s a health issue that causes weight gain instead of the other way around. When my ex-wife’s rheumatoid arthritis presented, she was on prednezone for a year while her doctors were looking for the right medicine to treat her case. She gained around 160lbs in a that time and several years later she’s still working to get her weight back down. It’s not easy. And it’s not ok so assume or judge anyone for any reason.

Is it ok to criticize someone for being black because they have a higher risk of heart disease?
You’re using the same rationalization against a fat person. Even in cases where it is just a lifestyle choice, that’s not an excuse to criticize either.

BDSM carries risks of bad outcomes. Therefore we can criticize it according to your logic.

Fat may not turn you on, it may even turn you off and that’s ok. But if you don’t have anything nice to say…keep it to yourself.

Health issues cause about 2% of obesity. And your ex-wife's health issues did not cause her weight gain but the medication she was put on. 

Being black, which is not a choice, is not comparable to being obese, which in most cases results from poor choices. 

And bringing in examples of other things which  may or may not have bad outcomes is whataboutery - when confronted with an undeniable fact, the tactic is to say "but look at this other thing over here which is irrelevant to the topic." If you want to start threads discussing these other things, do so. 

I've bucketloads of nice and sympathetic things to say on the subject of being clear-sighted about the risks you take - but a lot of the notions being expressed here are simply self-delusion. 

Edited by f1e074fcca0aa7f3ed89a2773d10b18e

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Chloebear

Posted (edited)

5 hours ago, Alistair1974 said:

"If you're overweight through your own choice it's basically self harming."

I understand that the words "through your own choice" don't fit with your wanting to be angry. 
That doesn't mean they're not there though sweety. x

I understand your need to be condescending. Wait…. No I don’t… why is that necessary? Before you judge, how do know who is doing what for what reasons. You don’t know where anyone is on their journey. Perhaps it is your anger that needs exploring, since there is no need to be as annoyed and passive aggressive about other people’s lifestyle choices which have no effect upon your own.

Edited by Chloebear

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Alistair1974

Posted

On 8/12/2022 at 4:13 PM, Chloebear said:

Just as we should be able to live our lives without your interference, and your assertion that it’s self harm is most certainly judgemental. Many on here have said they embrace their body size. That is not self harm. It is acceptance. 
 

"If you're overweight through your own choice it's basically self harming."

I understand that the words "through your own choice" don't fit with your wanting to be angry. 
That doesn't mean they're not there though sweety. x

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ra****

Posted

I worship a sexy bbw

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Posted

1 hour ago, Chloebear said:

Please, continue to justify your lack of empathy. It just makes you look less and less of a sympathetic cause. 

P.s. it was irony. 

 

I've empathy to burn, but not for those who pretend reality is other than it is. P.S. I know what irony is, but yours doesn't cut it. I'm out. 

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Chloebear

Posted

37 minutes ago, wicklowdom said:

Not the same risks. And since this is the topic, the others aren't relevant. Nobody needs to live in a monastery, just to live sensibly - if they want to maximise life expectancy and avoid serious illness. Which is not to say one has to do these things - but self-delusion isn't an option. 

Please, continue to justify your lack of empathy. It just makes you look less and less of a sympathetic cause. 

P.s. it was irony. 

 

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Posted

5 hours ago, Chloebear said:

As is there with being underweight…. Or living in a city…. Or drinking alcohol… or working a sedentary job…. So many things. Let us all live monastically in the pure hills! 

Not the same risks. And since this is the topic, the others aren't relevant. Nobody needs to live in a monastery, just to live sensibly - if they want to maximise life expectancy and avoid serious illness. Which is not to say one has to do these things - but self-delusion isn't an option. 

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Chloebear

Posted

2 hours ago, wicklowdom said:

There is a clear and demonstrable correlation between excess weight and poor health outcomes.

As is there with being underweight…. Or living in a city…. Or drinking alcohol… or working a sedentary job…. So many things. Let us all live monastically in the pure hills! 

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Chloebear

Posted

14 hours ago, Alistair1974 said:

Gods there's some nonsense on here. If you're overweight through your own choice it's basically self harming. You're cognitively aware that it's causing you harm. You're causing your lungs, heart etc to work harder than they should. You're placing excess stress on a bone structure that was only meant to handle X Y or Z in terms of impact.

However. It's just the same as drinking more beer than recommended. Or smoking. It's a choice. A life choice. And thus, given we're all adults, it's fine.

If you want to leave your kids early.. because of your selfish choices.. so be it. You want to risk dying before your parents .. so be it. It's a tad rude but it's your life.

But.. STOP promoting this as being something that's ok. People saying "oooh you're so judgemental" is not a defence for this. For someone to stay neutral in the face of someone being oppressed .. is taking the side of the oppressor. It requires the same warning as cigarettes. And not just a warning... but .. a chunk of information stating.. you're going to screw your organs.. etc etc.

This isn't something that is debateable in terms of "is it ok?". It's detrimental to the individual and thus the individual needs to be made aware of that, or reminded of that. Fat "positivity" should not be a thing. It's not something to be encouraged.. because it's tantamount to aiding and abetting a slow.. meandering suicide.

And just because the individual, or some people on the outside get a kick out of it, shouldn't exempt the conscientious observer from saying.. "hang on.. this is a tad dangerous" without being vilified for it .

Just as we should be able to live our lives without your interference, and your assertion that it’s self harm is most certainly judgemental. Many on here have said they embrace their body size. That is not self harm. It is acceptance. 
 

Actually the reasons can be myriad, from illness, to medication to disability… labelling weight gain as self harm is a damaging sentiment. If anything, it is a form of self comfort, which is reactionary to perceived harm, not unlike the comments you make. There are many behaviours like this. It’s why making larger people feel ashamed of their size will likely achieve the opposite of what you state is your aim. Increasing someone’s self esteem will make them more likely to take care of themselves after all. If we don’t care about ourselves, would we care for ourselves?

To be clear, I explain this to highlight the holes in your approach. Many bigger people now accept their frames, love themselves as they are and good. I wish it had been the same when I was younger. Many things can alter my lifespan, I could get hit by a car tomorrow. Not all of us want to be 70. I don’t have kids, my parents wont outlive me (really?!)… yea I’ll selfishly sacrifice ten years for cake. The economy needs us to live shorter lives honestly… maybe you should have some pizza and think a little more about the pension schemes etc. 

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ar****

Posted

@wicklowdom that’s the biggest assumption and rationalization for fat-shaming there is. Sometimes it’s a health issue that causes weight gain instead of the other way around. When my ex-wife’s rheumatoid arthritis presented, she was on prednezone for a year while her doctors were looking for the right medicine to treat her case. She gained around 160lbs in a that time and several years later she’s still working to get her weight back down. It’s not easy. And it’s not ok so assume or judge anyone for any reason.

Is it ok to criticize someone for being black because they have a higher risk of heart disease?
You’re using the same rationalization against a fat person. Even in cases where it is just a lifestyle choice, that’s not an excuse to criticize either.

BDSM carries risks of bad outcomes. Therefore we can criticize it according to your logic.

Fat may not turn you on, it may even turn you off and that’s ok. But if you don’t have anything nice to say…keep it to yourself.

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so****

Posted

As long as obesity doesnt become a health issue, I say hell yeah you be you ❣️ I just caution people against ignoring the health challenges. That being said, I actually prefer thicker women, as most men do.

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Ba****

Posted

I❤️BBW’s. Every single stretch mark is sexy. Sexy tiger bbw’s

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Posted

There is a clear and demonstrable correlation between excess weight and poor health outcomes.

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Checkerboard11

Posted

Just be your self and you will shine through ❤️❤️

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Posted

In the same breath a lot of fatphobic medical professions ignore some serious medical problems and write it off as them just needing to lose weight. No one is glamorizing fatness. They are trying to de-stigmatize.

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de****

Posted

To all beautiful people, thin, fat, black yellow, tall, small, green eyed, black eyed and whatever comes in mind... These are just the amazing differences between us that makes it a whole lot more fun and interesting to play! Wether it's your soul or your outer shell, i don't give a fk! You are all beautiful, sexy, attractive, INTERESTING (!!!) and more... BIG BIG LOVE TO ALL! BE CONFIDENT. even if you feel like you're not the most perfect swan in this lake, have a look around, please... We are all "imperfect", if perfect exists at all in the real world. YOU ARE ALL WORTHY ENOUGH and there's always someone that sees how beautiful you are, even when you dont feel "pretty", and even if tou don't even recognize or even know about that person.
I love you! Be you. It is the best you can ever give and its the best can be❤️❤️❤️
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IL****

Posted

1 hour ago, Seedious said:

I love this too! I’ve been on my weight loss journey for years. I love when people talk to me about it because I am super proud of myself!! I was over 600lbs and am in the 300’s now! Still obviously want to lose more to become healthier!

Do not lose anything ur fine just the way U are 

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de****

Posted

Thick thighs save lives. All jokes aside, I love a thick girl
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Se****

Posted

I love this too! I’ve been on my weight loss journey for years. I love when people talk to me about it because I am super proud of myself!! I was over 600lbs and am in the 300’s now! Still obviously want to lose more to become healthier!
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Se****

Posted

I personally love big men, big women, and big people in general. I just wanna cook and bake for the world!!🥰🤗
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sa****

Posted

#Thick guys save lives
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sa****

Posted

This is true people always talk about equality and how fat positive they are yet nothing is done for bigger men they are still looked at as far and not always in a good way so I completely understand and can relate to this
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Lo****

Posted

As a fat male Dom, nothing in this article or thread makes me feel included. I often struggle with my body image, especially when meeting new people. Luckily, I don't feel unworthy just because I'm overweight. Shitty to feel judged, though, but I suppose that's mostly by myself. 

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Ch****

Posted

I love me a bbw
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Alistair1974

Posted

Gods there's some nonsense on here. If you're overweight through your own choice it's basically self harming. You're cognitively aware that it's causing you harm. You're causing your lungs, heart etc to work harder than they should. You're placing excess stress on a bone structure that was only meant to handle X Y or Z in terms of impact.

However. It's just the same as drinking more beer than recommended. Or smoking. It's a choice. A life choice. And thus, given we're all adults, it's fine.

If you want to leave your kids early.. because of your selfish choices.. so be it. You want to risk dying before your parents .. so be it. It's a tad rude but it's your life.

But.. STOP promoting this as being something that's ok. People saying "oooh you're so judgemental" is not a defence for this. For someone to stay neutral in the face of someone being oppressed .. is taking the side of the oppressor. It requires the same warning as cigarettes. And not just a warning... but .. a chunk of information stating.. you're going to screw your organs.. etc etc.

This isn't something that is debateable in terms of "is it ok?". It's detrimental to the individual and thus the individual needs to be made aware of that, or reminded of that. Fat "positivity" should not be a thing. It's not something to be encouraged.. because it's tantamount to aiding and abetting a slow.. meandering suicide.

And just because the individual, or some people on the outside get a kick out of it, shouldn't exempt the conscientious observer from saying.. "hang on.. this is a tad dangerous" without being vilified for it .
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Posted

Sticking your dick into random people on the internet isn’t healthy either but no one is calling you out for it.

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sp****

Posted

The word fat is a cruel word, I know plenty of women who are a bit oversized but that doesn't mean that they're not lovable. They can be great conversationalist and they can also treat you right in bed because they want to do everything they can to satisfy their man. I think BBW are just as beautiful as any other woman out there 😘
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Chloebear

Posted

2 hours ago, backfromthedead said:

Saying something is unhealthy is not being unkind. Smoking cigarettes is unhealthy. On average it shortens your lifespan. That's not a mean thing to say.

Is their weight somehow harming your health? At a stretch you could say smoke harms by secondary inhalation. Are you worried you’ll somehow secondarily inhale a cake in my vicinity?

If it’s no harm to you, I’m not sure why there’s a need to keep highlighting negativity. Do you think any overweight person isn’t aware of the health concerns? You are not a medical marvel, we have been told MANY times. So you are going to be making us feel crap or annoyed. You aren’t ‘saving’ us and we don’t want saving. Acceptance, inclusivity, kindness by not forcing your life view on others. 

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Posted

The idea of acceptance and respecting everyone’s rights to have fun in a consenting environment is what drew me to this kink site. I get a feel of the non judgmental attitude. This is a great article. Thanks

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Parasite

Posted

All women are beautiful all shapes and sizes I like to make imperfections perfections on lady’s all beautiful
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Slaveboy69834

Posted

Absolutely nothing wrong with a larger frame generally tend to be better people
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Posted

Saying something is unhealthy is not being unkind. Smoking cigarettes is unhealthy. On average it shortens your lifespan. That's not a mean thing to say.

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Posted

I think Chloebear got it, inclusivity is key. Include people and choose to be kind.

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bi****

Posted

As far as I am concerned never met a fat lady in fetish setting met and chatted to lots of curvey lady’s that can be very sexy to look at and fun to know
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Pantyboykev

Posted

Hello
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Chloebear

Posted

Really sad that there’s body shaming comments on here. People who say they are interested in the ‘health’ of others to justify their unkind comments or opinions. Does someone else’s weight or health hurt you? Your comments hurt them. Tearing people down doesn’t help anyone get healthy. It’s just an expression of your own fear, not your concern, so choose to be kind.

And no, you don’t have to point out medical facts. IQ isn’t inversely proportional to KG. We get it, you don’t get complexity 🙄
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Chloebear

Posted

Being judgemental is unnecessary, being inclusive is…. Everything. Don’t judge what you don’t know.
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Chloebear

Posted

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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oa****

Posted

Personally I love a woman with curves and some meat on her bones. I know that is political incorrect but what the heck I’m old fashioned
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IL****

Posted

U are sexy just the way yo thick ass is bby
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IL****

Posted

Whoever body shames A thick girl is wrong for that
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Ms****

Posted

Each to their own though really isn’t it?

I mean, we all have kinks, preferences and desires.
We are all different. Shape, size , background and locations.

All kinks should be noted and respected. If you do not like something and it doesn’t affect you personally; just nod, be polite, smile and move on.
In regards to body size, each to their own.
We are all adults so we make our choices. Don’t we?

We all do not have to agree. But we must let others live their life how they wish.
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Posted

Feat or not, being healthy should be the focus, not one’s physical appearance. Sadly, any medical statistic you look at will show that people who are overweight are drastically more prone to illness. The recent pandemic is a great example of this. Stop trying to glamorize “fat”. Promote health instead.

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Ki****

Posted

Thank you sooooo much for posting!!!! I’ve ALWAYS been fat shamed and at 55 I’m JUST now starting to like myself. Your words are an encouragement? Thanks again 🥰
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Zu****

Posted

Why I cannot talk about being fat or needing a diet in front of a fat person? They are the same as everybody and should be treated as everybody... I'm not gonna walk on eggshells or avoid certain topics because they are fat. If they are fat is their business, if I consider I do need a diet I will talk about it and if they get offended or try to find second intentions that is their problem...
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Pu****

Posted

YES TO ALL OF THIS!!
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ro****

Posted

What if my kink is fat shaming? 🤔
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Se****

Posted

I love being big and beautiful 😍

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Posted

Wow the people who think size equates to the health of a person really don’t understand that’s the BS we’ve been fed. Size & health are 2 different things and one does not necessarily negate the other. All people are beautiful and should be treated as such regardless of your personal preference.
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ch****

Posted

If u think body shaming has its place then that says allot about some of the things you can't get past like a pretty girls cheeks and your bigoted opinion some things will never change "alpha males" incorrigible opinions and how beautiful all women are 💞
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Posted

The more fat on a body the more likely of health issues. It’s simple science that people can’t accept because they’d prefer to be offended by somebody pointing out the obvious rather that fix their unhealthy lifestyle.

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Se****

Posted

Body shaming has its place. If you're using body positivity as an excuse to not take care of yourself, you are wrong for doing so. Anyone who encourages that kind of behavior is a part of the problem. We've all been told the importance of eat healthy and get exercise. Let's not forget that.

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Ma****

Posted

Being fat is unhealthy, being kinky is not

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Posted

It is if you’re in the inner circle!

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Ma****

Posted (edited)

As I've got older I've realised it what is in the head, ok extra weight can cause health problems, but sometimes bad health can be the cause of weight gain, as I know from experience, if you have a kinky mind you will use your to suit your needs, hope that makes sense. I happen to like larger Breasts, so larger women get my vote, mind you nice long legs also get my vote, lol, I better leave it there.

Edited by wilkie
Wanted to add the last part.
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Posted (edited)

41 minutes ago, Thirteenpoint7 said:

 I dont have any issue who are plumb bog boned etc etc but obesity should not be celebrated its dangerous. 

I don't think it's being celebrated, more an article of acceptance that we are what we are and maybe a hint that we should try harder to just be plain nice to each other. Let's face it peeps are bullied and bullied horribly for things like this, how is that right? It's just not, and can destroy what little confidence a person has. Maybe we just need to try a little harder, all of us, as none are perfect 

Edited by Deleted profile
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Kinkyone4u1214

Posted

Good comments it's true that some people do like a larger type to a smaller types and obesity is a huge problem in this country and other country's if someone likes the way he or she looks no one should ever put them down like that person's their dog or something and I know their are people who shame their pet s anyway people who shame others should be ashamed for it as we are all humans and if we want to be big beautiful or big chubby we should not shame them for it we to are humans and I'm sorry I'm not obese but I got a lot of health prob!ems as it is the excuse to shame someone is on the person shaming others because of their body types of age types of what ever else they want to shame someone for we like racism wil not get rid of shameing for good but it's good to teach the kids of the future the kindness that we have to others not to shame others as that is a kind of bullying and I to this day am going to make derastic measures to make sure that bullying will not be tolerated but illegal and it's kids and adults need to stand up to shameing and bullying

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qu****

Posted

So if you follow that logic anyone over a certain weight should just accept any criticism and when told they're to big to be here they should just leave

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Quizical

Posted

1 hour ago, quietlysure said:

Plus seeing as here and other sites require photos of some kind in description is there a need for "body type", in some ways initiating a judgement before even talking

I don’t see an issue with asking body type personally as some people prefer someone with a larger frame and some don’t. Its ok either way. Its just a way to narrow your search. Physical attraction is just as important as personailty, interests etc. 

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Quizical

Posted

Lovely article. How boring would life be if we all looked the same? Women get enough grief in society in general for their weight. This platform has shown me that everyone is accepted for who they are. Everyone has their own tastes and nobody is shamed for it here. If the larger woman isnt for you (which is ok too) be polite.

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qu****

Posted

Plus seeing as here and other sites require photos of some kind in description is there a need for "body type", in some ways initiating a judgement before even talking

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PixieDust

Posted

I am woman, I am strong

I am invincible in my song

I maybe big, I maybe large

But to me it means I am supercharged

I am beautiful inside and out

There really isn’t any other doubt………

 

Thank you for writing this article and to every women out there no matter your size, you are are all beautiful and strong no matter what. 💗💗💗🧚‍♀️

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qu****

Posted

I do sometimes wonder if all the labels and names side of things can cause more problems, but I know it's each to their own, if you take here for example I don't see it as Dom or sub, just two people who like each other and like the opposite side of any "play", as in " I like being spanked, oooo, do you, I like spanking"

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Nylon-Nellie

Posted

Lets not forget, there is a broad spectrum of kink. One persons kink shouldn't be any less than the next persons kink. We are all here for the same reason as the next person that signs up. Just remember, to be respectful of people's kink and not to judge (have I missed the point of this thread, erm nope).

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Me****

Posted

As Morrissey once put it-
"Some girls are bigger than others, some girls mothers are bigger than other girls mothers"

Metal loves you all.

Fat, thin tall and short.
Ugly, lazy
or into sport.

The shape you are
means nowt to me
Its in your head
I want to see.

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qu****

Posted

So "thin" people never have health problems, and nobody's suggesting we live unhealthily,

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Qu****

Posted

26 minutes ago, Thirteenpoint7 said:

This will all end in tears. We should not encourage unhealthy lifestyles

What makes you think my lifestyle is unhealthy because I’m  big???

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Posted

7 minutes ago, Thirteenpoint7 said:

This will all end in tears. We should not encourage unhealthy lifestyles

They'll always be tears.....

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Posted

We are told big is unhealthy, unattractive alongside all the "don't worry" comments "she's got a great personality" etc etc. All mechanisms that minimise a womans self worth and lead her to believe she isn't enough.

When a woman rises up and realises SHE IS ENOUGH nothing can stop her.

Women who have found this build up others, celebrate courage, growth, share the light and the power this realisation brings!!!

💋🌈🔥👑🔥🌈💋

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qu****

Posted

Sometimes these things highlight the over use of labels, I know I've said it before but everybody's perfectly imperfect, I mean there's not really a term for someone skinny or average, they are no different, some are found to be more attractive than others, but no label given, and in the main any bias shown to appearance is towards women, so beautiful ladies stand proud, and naked or clothed shout out loud, "I AM WOMAN, I AM BEAUTIFUL"

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Blueeyes-5615

Posted

I love how big women are finally being wanted by men and not be shamed like year's ago. I'm a fat sexy woman and love my body

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LandRoverMan

Posted

I care about the plus sized women, all i dated were big. I also did not care for burns, self harm scars, age  or missing limbs. Most i know look at beauty, i even tried to get a girl but ended up with her mom. Funny at the door though, she said i am not interested and i replied she should step aside.... i am here for your mom.  My opinion is: we all need love and should be more accepting to others in looks, wants and kinks. 

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He****

Posted

In the vanilla world I'm so aware of my body image and here I'm not, because it's not about that, I prefer not to feel I have to look a certain way.

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qu****

Posted

And of course true beauty comes from within, heightening the physical appearance making a person glow with beauty

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Posted

Kink comes from within my soul it transcends any negativity about body shape weight etc ps the picture above is gorgeous

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Subsub33

Posted

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder..
We all find different things attractive.
Just as well, as if not we would all be chasing Geogre Clooney 😁

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Bo****

Posted

Everyone is beautiful & sexy in their own right..............see n sense their beauty as a person!🙏🌈🙏 ..........labels? Pah!😘

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Kinkyone4u1214

Posted

I say no to body shaming stop with the body shameing

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Nylon-Nellie

Posted

Nice article and models are absolutely gorgeous.

  • Like 1

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