10 Top Black Sex-Positive People & Organizations To Follow

Hi in Rocky Mount

Thursday at 07:44 AM, WhatIf89 said:

Any white-owned shops you can recommend?

Lol 😆 🤣 😂

Is this really a thing?

😆 Gilly I'm not mad atcha at all our people have also been lobbying to stop our achievements to be label black because it's actually an insult as if like finally black people are doing something when it has always been that way since Pangea was complete

Go to the FetLife site and find out.

How do I cancel my subscription to FetLife??

11 hours ago, Gilly222 said:

Oh well, can only hope the top white sex positive people are pinned next. It's all about equality remember 🙃

A perfect example of how to completely miss the point of why this article is needed, even though it is clearly explained in the first few lines 🤦‍♂️

🥱👇🏻

"White owned" is the default of most shops in countries impacted by European colonization sex shop or otherwise certainly the wealthiest ones because of centuries of violence and looting.

The unspoken nature of (white) owned reveals how widespread it is.

Conversely white rappers and white basketball players for example may get special attention if they are successful or mid in a field dominated by Black people. Representation matters. Especially when you're not depicted or have been historically or legally denied access.

The specific indication of race in this post highlights that despite the length and continuation of European colonization Black people still find pleasure and Black business somehow finds a way.

3 hours ago, Gilly222 said:

Likearock I can answer that in a dm

Sure

Sending pictures of ponies and what I like

@Whatif89 about 90% of shops.

@likearock One group was banned from having an opinion at some point. Your group never was. Why do y’all act soooo confused about why things don’t get mentioned with “white” in it?

Likearock I can answer that in a dm

Oh well, can only hope the top white sex positive people are pinned next. It's all about equality remember 🙃

46 minutes ago, likearock69 said:

When I go to xhamster or porn hub and type BBC porn, its mostly black men having sex with white women. I dont see much black men with black women. Would that be a talking point for discussion?

Ughh, I mentioned that in my final comments but it got deleted as I listed links for people to refer to to read up more about there topics 🙄.


But yes, overall the Jezebel trope impacts Black men as well. For Black peoples in general in leads us to be over sexualized and fetishized by other races. When you combine this with the system of patriarchy in which men = masculine, strong, etc. and women = dainty, innocent, meek, you get an over festization of Black men and Asian/White women as they are seen as the “most masculine” and “most feminine” in this archetype. Hence, tons of BBC porn with WW + BM. For Black women, we are often seen as “more masculine” and in essence less desirable. This is a result of colorism + racism + patriarchy intersecting.

This has so many harmful effects such as adultification of our youth, which still impacts us especially with interactions with the police or authority figures.

Almost as reactionary force to slavery, the stereotypes we have to fight against and embrace of Christianity, is that many Black Americans have a very conservative sexuality. These views have been adopted not just to be accepted, but for survival in a super harsh world. Combined with respectability politics, it really as is done such that White people don’t view them as “the bad ones” and ergo, undeserving of basic rights and humanity. It’s only in the last 10-15 years that I’ve seen Black people starting to reject respectability politics and just BE. It’s a lot of counter and fight against as a Black person, especially if you aren’t informed of all these things.

When I go to xhamster or porn hub and type BBC porn, its mostly black men having sex with white women. I dont see much black men with black women. Would that be a talking point for discussion?

Omg Ive wanted this!! It's so exciting to see the (most of) the comments with this article particularly reading other Black perspectives. It would be great to have a roundtable discussion around kink and race that is culturally affirming and questioning.

Thank you cece for shedding some light on this topic. I had no idea of the differences faced by Black people in terms of sex positivity. I figured the sex positivity thing started in the 60s, and affected everyone equally. 

That may still be true, but still that means everyone would have a different starting point to build on. So apparently there is a shared Black experience in facing challenges embracing sex positivity. I wish the article would have educated us on that, as I think it could have fostered understanding and compassion rather than some of these dismissive comments. 

On 6/26/2024 at 4:26 PM, arnhem961 said:

Alright, so then what are those unique challenges in embracing sex positivity? You're saying the newly created shared culture has some specific negative notions on sex? Like how, example?

Probably one of the biggest for Black women at least is getting away form the Jezebel stereotype.

Black Americans are the most diverse people in the United States, but primarily that is due to a history of rape from White slaveowners. 
 

There was a common stereotype that Black men and women are more “sexual” than White peoples. And thus back then and—even in some cases today— Black Women could not be raped—as they were wonton whores begging for White or any satisfaction. Black men as well were seen in the same light. Stories like Emmett Till remind us how unfair things are. Even to day, his commemorative sign had to get replaced with a bullet proof one because people kept shooting it down. 
 

Racism is still alive and present. 
 

As almost a reactionary behavior, Black Americans embraced Christianity and also respectability politics. Essentially trying to behave  and portray themselves as “good, polite, and gracious” to be seen as human  to White people. It’s something that was done as an act of survival admidst slavery, reconstruction, Jim Crow, and the civil rights era. 
 

Now, embracing sex positivity as a Black person os embracing it amongst all that history and baggage. It’s ignoring your Auntie or church leader’s voice in your head saying that skirt is too short or that you look fast. It’s ignoring the staring looks from White people seeing bare skin, and asking for yourself: “what makes ME feel good? What gives ME pleasure?”

 

I myself had to go through my own journey. I remember 12-15yrs ago, I saw an Afrobeats video with Black woken dancing in short shorts and the first thing I thought was “wow that’s way too much skin, her ass is hanging out, why are they dressed like that?” And then I had to stop myself. Taylor swift shows just as much skin in her music videos. So does Katy Perry, Beyonce, etc. I’ve never stopped and stared or commented on THEM wearing short shorts. What was the difference? It was that I was seeing dark skinned women, who were also a little plumper (but size medium not even large) in the same outfits.  In that moment I realized my biases and worked to dismantle them by exposing myself to more different body types and skin tones of artists. 
 

Hope that explains some things.

Edited June 28 by Cece_looking

On 6/26/2024 at 4:26 PM, arnhem961 said:

Alright, so then what are those unique challenges in embracing sex positivity? You're saying the newly created shared culture has some specific negative notions on sex? Like how, example?

 

On 6/26/2024 at 4:31 PM, arnhem961 said:

Ah, now we're getting somewhere! You're saying Christianity had a big influence on black culture. From that I believe stem concepts like no sex before marriage, masturbation is a sin and the likes. So those topics are still embedded in black culture these days?

Yes, 1000%. It is taught too to White Americans in the same fashion, but with Black Americans it was a different meaning. 
 

Most people, and I would argue Christian’s too, have no clue of how involved and indoctrined Christianity was to enslaved Africans. Nor how differently it was taught.

 

Enslaved Africans and Black Americans were taught that they were slaves due to the fact that they were the children of ham. Therefore, they needed to be in service of others—White people— in order to reach salvation. Ironically, they were not always given the “full bible” and passages were sometimes omitted to keep this falsehood safe. For Black Americans, church became a sanctuary, a a safe space— one of the only places where they were allowed to rest, sing and get together in groups.

 

As such, they took on some of the conservative ways of Christianity and still hold many of them today. 

On 6/26/2024 at 3:49 PM, SweetDragonFire said:

I think I understand what you mean. I am half black (just wasn't blessed with much melanin). I was raised to believe that violence was our culture. It's not. In fact, there are many "customs" that "bleed" into kink like toxic masculinity, toxic feminity, consent violations, respect, etc. It's wonderful to dismantle and learn the difference between harmful and helpful behavior. And what culture actually is. We need these conversations . ☺️

Yess! 1000% agreed. I feel like growing up for many of us means unlearning the toxic traits and constructs we learned both consciously and subconsciously as kids & teens to becoming more healthy- sexually, emotionally and physically. Sadly not everyone does that. 

17 hours ago, ScottishEmma said:

It’s 2024 equality is a thing and everyone deserves respect regardless of gender race religion disability etc we all know that but the minute I mention “race play” I’m shot down. It’s role play it’s not real life, it’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s wrong and because of that makes it more exciting, like flashing your boobs in a park. Wish people would stop being so judgmental. I could shove 100 carrots up my bum no one would say a thing but “call me a little white bitch” and 😳😳😳 anyway that’s my rant over - have a lovely day, week, month, life everyone 🥰

This is so real lol, the world is falling apart

Sad thats no real community and activities happens in Germany as except in Berlin..!!!

Irony, should say creating inequality.. that's reality. Like it or not. No matter how non racist people are, they are still perceived as the opposite. Truly sad.

Any white-owned shops you can recommend?

Wtf is this bs ?
This post/article is crazy(the title alone)
So much to say but Ima say less

Why everything got to have race in it

2 hours ago, Cece_looking said:

Oh and to answer your second question: yes there is some difference in how sex positivity is expressed in Black vs the dominant White culture, and really in every culture. Sex-positivity tends to be more stigmatized within our culture due to the persistent influence of Christianity. Efforts to address that need to acknowledge the history of slavery + Christian and its impacts on the psyche of today’s Black people.

Damn, I wish I said all this! So awesome 🙌🏽

9 minutes ago, Cece_looking said:

Oh and to answer your second question: yes there is some difference in how sex positivity is expressed in Black vs the dominant White culture, and really in every culture. Sex-positivity tends to be more stigmatized within our culture due to the persistent influence of Christianity. Efforts to address that need to acknowledge the history of slavery + Christian and its impacts on the psyche of today’s Black people.

Ah, now we're getting somewhere! You're saying Christianity had a big influence on black culture. From that I believe stem concepts like no sex before marriage, masturbation is a sin and the likes. So those topics are still embedded in black culture these days?

7 minutes ago, Cece_looking said:

This is the difference: when enslaved Africans were brought to the US, the colonizers intentionally forbid them from passing on knowledge of their culture, language, customs and even names. Black Americans today don’t know their specific ethnic group - Nigerian or Angolan or anything- because of this forcible erasure. In the end, they created their own unique identity based around a shared culture as some things still stuck- music, dance, art, mannerisms, etc. This culture has somehow persisted in other parts of the world (Caribbean, Latin America, Africa, etc.) despite the impacts of colonization and slavery.

I think it’s important to highlight the story of Black Americans & Black peoples as we face unique differences and hardships due to the impacts of slavery. Not mentioning those impacts is akin to “erasing” that history. Yes we are all human and that should be celebrated, but acknowledging one group’s unique challenges in embracing inclusive & sex-positive sexuality does not in any way take away from anyone else. Additionally, as Black people still face discrimination and gate keeping in so many spaces, highlighting their voices (especially in Juneteenth month) is a step in the right direction to advancing equity in our diverse society.

Sorry for any typos

Alright, so then what are those unique challenges in embracing sex positivity? You're saying the newly created shared culture has some specific negative notions on sex? Like how, example?

1 hour ago, arnhem961 said:

Sure, discrimination, injustice and even legal prosecution happens for hundreds of thousands of people today based on their beliefs, appearance, gender, ethnicity, you name it.
.
But even if in this article, black is a culture and not just a skin color: then still I ask, what are the go-to differences between black culture and others when it comes to sex positivity? Surely, there is no need to discuss something specifically within the context of a subculture, if said context is of no significance to the subject at all?
.
I'm all for sex positivity. I'm all for black people. I'm just not sure why sex positivity needs to be discussed in the context of a specific culture. So that's what I'm asking here.

Oh and to answer your second question: yes there is some difference in how sex positivity is expressed in Black vs the dominant White culture, and really in every culture. Sex-positivity tends to be more stigmatized within our culture due to the persistent influence of Christianity. Efforts to address that need to acknowledge the history of slavery + Christian and its impacts on the psyche of today’s Black people.

1 hour ago, arnhem961 said:

Sure, discrimination, injustice and even legal prosecution happens for hundreds of thousands of people today based on their beliefs, appearance, gender, ethnicity, you name it.
.
But even if in this article, black is a culture and not just a skin color: then still I ask, what are the go-to differences between black culture and others when it comes to sex positivity? Surely, there is no need to discuss something specifically within the context of a subculture, if said context is of no significance to the subject at all?
.
I'm all for sex positivity. I'm all for black people. I'm just not sure why sex positivity needs to be discussed in the context of a specific culture. So that's what I'm asking here.

This is the difference: when enslaved Africans were brought to the US, the colonizers intentionally forbid them from passing on knowledge of their culture, language, customs and even names. Black Americans today don’t know their specific ethnic group - Nigerian or Angolan or anything- because of this forcible erasure. In the end, they created their own unique identity based around a shared culture as some things still stuck- music, dance, art, mannerisms, etc. This culture has somehow persisted in other parts of the world (Caribbean, Latin America, Africa, etc.) despite the impacts of colonization and slavery.

I think it’s important to highlight the story of Black Americans & Black peoples as we face unique differences and hardships due to the impacts of slavery. Not mentioning those impacts is akin to “erasing” that history. Yes we are all human and that should be celebrated, but acknowledging one group’s unique challenges in embracing inclusive & sex-positive sexuality does not in any way take away from anyone else. Additionally, as Black people still face discrimination and gate keeping in so many spaces, highlighting their voices (especially in Juneteenth month) is a step in the right direction to advancing equity in our diverse society.

Sorry for any typos

Good info.

42 minutes ago, arnhem961 said:

Sure, discrimination, injustice and even legal prosecution happens for hundreds of thousands of people today based on their beliefs, appearance, gender, ethnicity, you name it.
.
But even if in this article, black is a culture and not just a skin color: then still I ask, what are the go-to differences between black culture and others when it comes to sex positivity? Surely, there is no need to discuss something specifically within the context of a subculture, if said context is of no significance to the subject at all?
.
I'm all for sex positivity. I'm all for black people. I'm just not sure why sex positivity needs to be discussed in the context of a specific culture. So that's what I'm asking here.

I think I understand what you mean. I am half black (just wasn't blessed with much melanin). I was raised to believe that violence was our culture. It's not. In fact, there are many "customs" that "bleed" into kink like toxic masculinity, toxic feminity, consent violations, respect, etc. It's wonderful to dismantle and learn the difference between harmful and helpful behavior. And what culture actually is. We need these conversations . ☺️

26 minutes ago, SweetDragonFire said:

I wish I could agree. I hold true to "unity in diversity". While your experience and perspective may be different, it doesn't negate the discrimination and injustice happening to hundreds of thousands of others today. Everyone gets a voice. We have the right to preserve our culture, customs and ethnicity. Segregation and separation are two different concepts. So for me, when I read this post, I am so proud to see the representation of other cultures in this app. I celebrate diversity and others' right to self.🙌🏽

Sure, discrimination, injustice and even legal prosecution happens for hundreds of thousands of people today based on their beliefs, appearance, gender, ethnicity, you name it.
.
But even if in this article, black is a culture and not just a skin color: then still I ask, what are the go-to differences between black culture and others when it comes to sex positivity? Surely, there is no need to discuss something specifically within the context of a subculture, if said context is of no significance to the subject at all?
.
I'm all for sex positivity. I'm all for black people. I'm just not sure why sex positivity needs to be discussed in the context of a specific culture. So that's what I'm asking here.

1 hour ago, arnhem961 said:

In my daily life, I don't experience skin color as a thing that separates me from other people. Coverage in headlines like this only make sense to me when there's an inherent difference between black people and others that's discussed when it comes to the subject, in this case experiencing sex positivity.
.
If there is no difference, then there is no added value to mentioning skin color. If people are ever to be accepted and treated as equal, singling out specific groups to give them special attention only maintains segregation.
.
So I wonder, what black characteristic am I missing here?

I wish I could agree. I hold true to "unity in diversity". While your experience and perspective may be different, it doesn't negate the discrimination and injustice happening to hundreds of thousands of others today. Everyone gets a voice. We have the right to preserve our culture, customs and ethnicity. Segregation and separation are two different concepts. So for me, when I read this post, I am so proud to see the representation of other cultures in this app. I celebrate diversity and others' right to self.🙌🏽

Fantastic resources. So grateful for this

In my daily life, I don't experience skin color as a thing that separates me from other people. Coverage in headlines like this only make sense to me when there's an inherent difference between black people and others that's discussed when it comes to the subject, in this case experiencing sex positivity.
.
If there is no difference, then there is no added value to mentioning skin color. If people are ever to be accepted and treated as equal, singling out specific groups to give them special attention only maintains segregation.
.
So I wonder, what black characteristic am I missing here?

Did you read farther than the headline?

Black only owned by black sed ed organizations.. If i did a find / replace "black" for "white" it would get shut down so fast.

@wwwiggins2 - So, using YOUR logic, when they have a feature about women, that would be unfair and sexist?... or, if the feature was about Disabled people, then that would be unfair too against able-bodied people?... Give your head a wobble.

I’m dreading this messages already

It's interesting, I'm not sure why is only about blacks. Kind of makes it racist, when you exclude other colors and talk equality? Like I know some Africans and they don't like each other?

It’s 2024 equality is a thing and everyone deserves respect regardless of gender race religion disability etc we all know that but the minute I mention “race play” I’m shot down. It’s role play it’s not real life, it’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s wrong and because of that makes it more exciting, like flashing your boobs in a park. Wish people would stop being so judgmental. I could shove 100 carrots up my bum no one would say a thing but “call me a little white bitch” and 😳😳😳 anyway that’s my rant over - have a lovely day, week, month, life everyone 🥰

Mollena Lee Williams-Haas is an African American woman who has been an International Ms. Leather (IMsL), a podcaster (All That and Mo), been featured in the New York Times Arts section for her kinky marriage to her internationally known composer husband, and the two of them have been the subject of a documentary called The Artist and the Pervert, and are currently performing a combination spoken word and music piece called Hyena about the beginnings of her sobriety. 

Vi Johnson and Jill Carter are also both former International Ms. Leather title holders who started the Carter-Johnson library: an archive of BDSM literature and history. 

I just got dinged for posting outside links, so I'll let y'all figure it out.

I’m surprised at the negative comments here. Young people need role models they can relate to.  There’s nothing wrong with highlighting positive black role models in any walk of life. 

On 2/23/2022 at 2:23 PM, StrictDaddy41 said:

Yes!! Any singling out of any group is unnecessary. This article doesn't need to be on here if it's gonna be a race article. That stuff is for Facebook

How is it singling out a group? It's highlighting people from a specific group.  Belongs here IMO. 

For those making comments against this article… it is in celebration of black history month. Let’s celebrate people! 😘

Yes!! Any singling out of any group is unnecessary. This article doesn't need to be on here if it's gonna be a race article. That stuff is for Facebook

Exactly!

Would you be questioning it if an article was aimed at another marginalised group such as the disabled?

Fighting against equality... While dividing by race???

That makes sense