Kink at Pride: Yes or No?

Should expressions of fetish and kink at Pride be 'toned down' due to corporate sponsorship and the presence of kids? Author and BDSM educator M. Christian weighs into the debate, arguing that yes, kink belongs at Pride.
 

While discussions within the LGBTI+ community about the over-commercialization of Pride month have been simmering away for years, one particular (since deleted) Tweet recently melted X (formerly Twitter).
 

In it, the author stated some progressive points; that corporate sponsorship has become a way to raise funds as well as promoting representation, and that trans women of color (WOC) are at the forefront of fighting for queer rights. But, then came the author's next point:


“Please don't bring your k*nks/fet*shes to pride, there are minors @ pride and this can sexualize the event.”

This person is, unfortunately, only one of many who have expressed the same opinion that public expressions of BDSM, fetish, or even queer sexuality at Pride events should be reconsidered since pride celebrations have gotten more – and I hate to use the word – 'mainstream'.

Given that corporate sponsors along with the social and financial power they wield have become such a big part of gay Pride, do these people arguing for no kink at Pride actually have a point?  
 

No kink at Pride?

While freely admitting that my position is a unique one – as I strongly emphasize with the LGBTI+ community despite not being particularly strong towards that side of the Kinsey scale – I've put some thought into these and other points and think these critics may have a point.
 

First things first, while it often feels like dancing with the devil, corporate sponsorship can be a powerful tool – financially, sure, but, as I also said above, as a potentially helper in the ongoing fight for cultural acceptance and, therefore, equality. 

Then there's the argument that while one of the principal precepts of BDSM has always been consent, kink or fetish play at LGBTI+ pride celebrations could 'possibly' be considered non-consensual, as those viewing didn't 'agree' to watch it.

But, I'm not going to wind up here with statements like "gay Pride needs to change" or "this is the price the queer community needs to pay in the fight for equality". While I agree that it's important to discuss these and other points, I strongly disagree with them. 

Not only does kink and BDSM have a right to be a part of gay Pride, at its core, it's what Pride is all about.
 

Celebrating pride month (for the right reasons)

Let's start with corporate sponsorship. While it can have all kinds of uses, the moment the queer community begins to kowtow to corporate interests over what gay Pride is about, then it's time to kick these corporations to the curb.

Putting it another way: because the queer community and its supporters have become a massive demographic for corporate sponsors, they need the queer community. Because of that, we must never lose sight of the fact that we have the power in this relationship: the LGBTI+ community should never become dependent on them and their sponsorship.
 

“The moment the queer community begins to kowtow to corporate interests over what gay Pride is about, then it's time to kick these corporations to the curb.”
 

OK, and so what about the no kink at pride argument that asks: "what about the ***?". Well, this is what's called a logical fallacy: an appeal to emotion – which is often used as a tactic to shift a debate from facts and well-thought-out arguments to *** possibly becoming innocent victims, and worst still, they (whoever might disagree with you) are to blame.
 

Let me repeat it for the folks in the cheap seats: LGBTI+ Pride is a celebration of the right for everyone to love and enjoy consensual sexual activities however and with whoever they wish.
 

More than that, it's about the freedom to be yourself, no matter what other people may think. If a parent who doesn't understand that, and isn't taking responsibility for discussing it with any child they might bring to Pride, then the onus is on that parent and not the thousands of people who are joyously celebrating being who they are.
 

Consent at Pride celebrations

Finally, we come to consent, and how it plays to being publicly kinky at Pride parades which, I have to say, is a sticky point with it touching on one of the three big BDSM tent poles and all. 

While BDSM should always be about asking for and receiving clear consent, by willingly attending Pride celebrations – and being aware of what they might experience – attendees are giving precisely that. It's like going to a comedy film and being shocked that someone threw a pie into someone's face.

 

“Not only does kink and BDSM have a right to be a part of gay pride, at its core, it''s what Pride is all about.”

Moreover, BDSM is – and has been for a long time and will likely remain – an integral part of the queer community. Like with all those beautiful letters in LGBTI+, kink is about the inalienable right to consensual sexual expression. 
 

The final FET: yes, kink belongs at Pride

BDSM shouldn't just be visible at Pride celebrations; it has to be, those who identify with being such deserving of recognition, support, and acceptance as any other part of the umbrella that covers being queer. 
 

If the idea of that makes people uncomfortable then perhaps they should put in the effort to stop fretting that kink might somehow stop some big company making *** off the attendees. Or, that it might *** people to actually talk to their kids about how consensual sexual expression is a right everyone must be able to enjoy.

In fact, people who are trying to deny the BDSM community from Pride celebrations, should accept that they're actually against everything these special celebrations have always stood for.

June is Pride month throughout may countries, where for 30 days a year many people around the world will stand up tall and proclaim to the world – and maybe even themselves – that they are a member LGBTI+ community.  •

M. Christian is a respected author and BDSM educator, having taught classes on everything from polyamory to tit *** for venues such as the SF Citadel, Good Vibrations, Beat Me In St. Louis and many others.
 

Cover image: Gay Pride Paris 2011 by Rog01 via Flickr (CC BY 2.0) License