Sensory & Psychological Attraction

[sa****]

What was the first moment you realized that a feeling, mood, or mental state mattered more to you than anything physical?
Was it a sensation, a power dynamic, an emotional shift, or something harder to name?
It was strang to look back and see how my mind and attitude changed when i started looking behind my own masks and looking for reasons for the sense of control that brings calm and peace when in normal life control brings anxiety and pressure to maintain the view of nonchalance basicly a basic mask i wher

[ma****]

I can't pick a specific moment. But I've always known it was so much more than just flesh for me.

[Je****]

This past month. Knowing I have psychological attraction reciprocated by someone I crush on. 🥰

[Th****]

I wouldn't say it's been any one moment. Over the years of exploring myself, and in the last 2 years actually, I've come to terms with being demi/greysexual. I don't NEED sex, or penetration, to get that feeling I search for. An emotional or psychological connection, even just something simple past first greetings, is the only thing that brings me to that base level during play.
And I've found it leads heavily into because I'm trusting this person. My anxiety can calm down and my brain can shut off. Which, is very rare these days because forming that connection is hard when you don't plan on romance just platonic?ish feelings

[Ba****]

Damn i just got my first content warning for mentioning parts of my earlier life in my first post here despite quite a lot of my posts featuring me below the “age of legal majority”, this kind of “topic” being extra likely to get the majority of people to respond with how puberty went for them and literally a condensed version of the story i got warned for being on my profile among my “kinky confessions” since my first day on this app(just more focused on the other side of the experience)
The rules of this place are weird
Seriously i they start to really en*** these rules then i’m basically fucked, most of what i learned after turning 18 was the ethical reasons why not to do something but I couldn’t tell people “why” anymore because almost all of that is based on mistakes i made “too early”
The main reason i never been to any munches or events is i was too young to go back when me being there would have been most useful for me and the people around me
Or is this more like the thing with censorship of certain non-specified terms?? Can i still talk about things as long as I don’t clearly state how old i was at the time?? Because “second grade of elementary school” doesn’t sound very adult either but didn’t result in any warnings or had i secretly accumulated enough “strikes” to “earn” my first official warning??
Any moderators around, help i’m confused

[FE****]

2 minutes ago, Barthold said:

Damn i just got my first content warning for mentioning parts of my earlier life in my first post here despite quite a lot of my posts featuring me below the “age of legal majority”, this kind of “topic” being extra likely to get the majority of people to respond with how puberty went for them and literally a condensed version of the story i got warned for being on my profile among my “kinky confessions” since my first day on this app(just more focused on the other side of the experience)
The rules of this place are weird
Seriously i they start to really en*** these rules then i’m basically fucked, most of what i learned after turning 18 was the ethical reasons why not to do something but I couldn’t tell people “why” anymore because almost all of that is based on mistakes i made “too early”
The main reason i never been to any munches or events is i was too young to go back when me being there would have been most useful for me and the people around me
Or is this more like the thing with censorship of certain non-specified terms?? Can i still talk about things as long as I don’t clearly state how old i was at the time?? Because “second grade of elementary school” doesn’t sound very adult either but didn’t result in any warnings or had i secretly accumulated enough “strikes” to “earn” my first official warning??
Any moderators around, help i’m confused

There's no black and white answer to your question.  However, I'll try and shed light.

The Kink Academy KA (as opposed to other forums on the site) is more heavily moderated due to rules put in place by the app stores.  This is why all posts and all comments must bemoderated prior to appearing on threads.

In short, the KA is more strict, keep it adult and not imply illegal activity of any sort.

[Ba****]

1 hour ago, FETMod-RG said:

There's no black and white answer to your question.  However, I'll try and shed light.

The Kink Academy KA (as opposed to other forums on the site) is more heavily moderated due to rules put in place by the app stores.  This is why all posts and all comments must bemoderated prior to appearing on threads.

In short, the KA is more strict, keep it adult and not imply illegal activity of any sort.

Thanks
I hope i have enough leeway to trial and error around plausible deniability without getting banned though
It’s gonna be conscious effort on my part because i’m quite open about most things(having no shame and all that) and i stoped lying about serious thing around the time i turned 18 as well(after I didn’t need to anymore it started to feel and be more counterproductive not to mention unethical) so a this point i’m well past just losing the impulse
Would it be possible to restore my first post on this topic with the age related parts censored??
I’ll try to be more vague about such specifics in the future

[Se****]

I think just finding the right person has a lot to do with the preference of more stimulating things than solely the physical portions. Honestly, I think it's more fun added to the chemistry!

[Deleted Member]

I have always been One who sought cerebral, emotional input, as well as the psychological aspects behind what people do, think... This is how I relate, understand, and move through the world. The physical, whilst sometime enjoyable, has rarely ever been my sole focus, and never? without the former present (even if not fulfilled.)

[wo****]

For me it wasn’t a single moment, it was more of a process. I can see that clearly in hindsight.
As a child, the unpredictability of home life was a constant. Adults manipulated, lacked empathy, and emotional states shifted with seemingly no warning. I had no control over the environment. It was dangerous. I had no one to protect me and no one I could trust. I made a conscious decision to withdraw inward and manage what I showed outwardly. That mask was born out of desperation. It allowed me to function without being constantly overwhelmed. It was a tool for survival.
Because of this early experience, internal states have always mattered to me a great deal. For me, calm meant containment and control meant the absence of chaos.
Later, I began to see how those early strategies still shape what I’m drawn to today. Situations where structure and control are intentional and chosen appeal to me. Situations where that’s imposed, not a fan. In those contexts, what once produced anxiety serves to ground me instead.

[Ki****]

The culture I was raised in severely punished women for considering a man's appearance, as long as it wasn't extreme in grooming. Let alone any physical aspects. The bar was "at least he didn't hit me". I feel ashamed when I even think about a man's looks. Dating apps have taught me damn ugly exists. How about: hugs, not draining financially or physically, no physical harm from sex (*** can be fun), dominant enough to calm the absolute storm in my head. Physical attraction seems too demanding.

[Sq****]

It was never physical to begin with.

[si****]

@woburn169344 that was my life exactly so I totally understand.

[Li****]

For me I like the mental domination, then also the physical but mainly I need to feel safe first

[no****]

I demand control at all time even when I'm not there. Ask my fiance about me I don't play

[Deleted Member]

i love physical touch and i am actually pretty much addicted to porn/masturbation but, it was always been mental. for example i am mentally a masochist more than i am physically. to get humiliated and degraded feels better than actual physical ***. i don't remember the first time but it was always been more psychological in my opinion. sex needs build up, curiousity, your mind wondering about what could it feel like... then when it is supported with the touches it level ups to something a lot more interesting.