How do you rep the scene in public?

[Fl****]

It's my understanding that most people would prefer to keep their kinks a secret in public spaces to avoid making anyone else uncomfortable during first impressions (especially in Dating Apps). However this caution is a double edged sword, people who are also kinky may be otherwise drawn to you if it was brought to their attention. As a result, most people use phrases of some kind to insinuate their kinky lifestyle. I have read people using "my least favorite icecream flavor is vanilla". I've personally used "I'm looking for a woman who wants to take the lead, I want to march to the beat of your drum"

I am curious friends. What, if any, phrases have you used in these spaces before? Do you have any funny stories because of them?

[Deleted Member]

Actions are louder than words

[Fl****]

2 minutes ago, mytimenowfl said:

Actions are louder than words

I'm not familiar with this one, why do you use this phrase? Whats the story behind it? I'd love to know :)

[Ho****]

Following because I've wondered the same. (Not sure what you mean by "rep", but I get what the question is.)

I confess I've always left it to the other person to broach the subject. My vanilla profile includes "Just stepping out of my comfort zone in the bedroom" - that gives an opening for them to ask. (That's a bit out of date actually, I should edit it to "stepped out". 😉)

But with someone met in the wild, I have no idea! Hasn't happened so far, since I discovered kink.

I'm kind of at a disadvantage because I give the impression of being dominant and I'm not. My default in-person flirt mode is that kind of innuendo which is a real nuisance! Also online, people seem to assume I am dom - or maybe it's just that sub types are more prone to wishful thinking, I don't know.

[Fl****]

5 minutes ago, Hotchpotch said:

Following because I've wondered the same. (Not sure what you mean by "rep", but I get what the question is.)

I confess I've always left it to the other person to broach the subject. My vanilla profile includes "Just stepping out of my comfort zone in the bedroom" - that gives an opening for them to ask. (That's a bit out of date actually, I should edit it to "stepped out". 😉)

But with someone met in the wild, I have no idea! Hasn't happened so far, since I discovered kink.

I'm kind of at a disadvantage because I give the impression of being dominant and I'm not. My default in-person flirt mode is that kind of innuendo which is a real nuisance! Also online, people seem to assume I am dom - or maybe it's just that sub types are more prone to wishful thinking, I don't know.

I was saying rep as a shortened version of represent, so the full question would be "how do you represent the scene" as in how do you bring it to the forefont. Glad you caught on with the context tho :)

[Deleted Member]

I GET ALONG WELL WITH PEOPLE WHO find pleasure in consent and bodily autonomy - it's sexy af

The all caps portion is a prompt on the vanilla app the lower case is how I completed it. I've had a few matches directly ask me if I'm in the Lifestyle so those that know get it. And those that don't know at least share a common value that works for me

[ey****]

This is exactly the kinda reason why munches took off.

Because regardless of what someone's kink, dynamic, interests, etc are you know everyone there is kinky to some degree and there's stuff you can mention and even if they're not interested (in you, the kink, whatever) it's not going to lead to negative consequences

we do also live in a kinda era where MOST codewords are known in public - vanilla has been used in mainstream TV (including Dr Who and WWE - quite a lot) as it passes for PG - people know what you mean when they say "you want a woman to take the lead" - it's not discreet.

Public spaces are somewhat difficult to manage, but the main thing is - why do people in this public space NEED to know?

[Ma****]

I just say I'm an old kinky Dom!!! She's gonna find out sooner or later and I practice honesty and frankness.
If she's offended.... What do I care??? I don't want her anyway!!!

[Mi****]

I really struggle with being open in public. I went to an event last night, and there were a few moments when I felt like I was making others uncomfortable, and I really don't want to do that. It's hard to find balance and project your kink like a care bear stare without blasting them in the face if they aren't receptive.

[se****]

Im down in public out of sight of kids

[Bl****]

8 hours ago, Hotchpotch said:

Following because I've wondered the same. (Not sure what you mean by "rep", but I get what the question is.)

I confess I've always left it to the other person to broach the subject. My vanilla profile includes "Just stepping out of my comfort zone in the bedroom" - that gives an opening for them to ask. (That's a bit out of date actually, I should edit it to "stepped out". 😉)

But with someone met in the wild, I have no idea! Hasn't happened so far, since I discovered kink.

I'm kind of at a disadvantage because I give the impression of being dominant and I'm not. My default in-person flirt mode is that kind of innuendo which is a real nuisance! Also online, people seem to assume I am dom - or maybe it's just that sub types are more prone to wishful thinking, I don't know.

Rep is a commonly used shorthand like Flemish said, expect it to be used fairly frequently by people 35 and under

[BR****]

I'm a Trap Star, well respected in my city, so I do what I want. When it comes to a phrase, I like "Imma grab you by your throat, push you up against the wall in public, and kiss you in your mouth." Most women respond with excitement. I like to see how far I can take it before being band from the establishment. I've been band from a bunch of restaurants, 😂. But I will keep ***'s innocent eyes in consideration.

[BR****]

I guess I'm not allowed to say Chdrens eyes

[Ca****]

17 hours ago, BRaZY_Official1 said:

I'm a Trap Star, well respected in my city, so I do what I want. When it comes to a phrase, I like "Imma grab you by your throat, push you up against the wall in public, and kiss you in your mouth." Most women respond with excitement. I like to see how far I can take it before being band from the establishment. I've been band from a bunch of restaurants, 😂. But I will keep ***'s innocent eyes in consideration.

Wow this is the first question type thing on here I’ve read a thread on and I regret it. This isn’t a flex boss, this is embarrassing to brag about on here and do. Ain’t no employees got time for your grown azz to be needing to get thrown out cause you can’t act right

[d_guglieme]

A few of my friends know I am in the app.

If it comes up in conversation , I mention that I have met some nice enough people (locally and otherwise), but have not met any real prospects.

Beyond that, I don't really talk about it.

[ma****]

Love public places

[MistressWhipplash]

I don't fish in lake vanilla. I am a Lifestyle Dominant Sadist Woman and attend munches, fetish clubs and chat at online munches.
I prefer direct s***ch.

Non-kink folk are not compatible with how I do things. Newbies Kinksters who consent to be here in the kink arena need two years of attending munches before they shift their mental headspace.

I think those who fish in lake vanilla are heading for heartache.

I tried once just to see. Hell no.

In terms of talking about what kind of relationship I like my family know. My direct nature is noticeable from the first sentence.

One time at a family wedding my ex husband attempted to out me as a Dominant Sadist His family laughed and said they'd known all along. My ex mother-in-law gave me a whip she didn't want. Then while my ex sulked in the corner we talked about the best corset makers. My candor is how I am.

I remember when the silly Shades of Grey came out my nail lady asked my view in a her packed shop.

I gave my view which had a few women attend munches. I talked about mutual consent and kink education before contemplating any form of kink play.

I used to run events and have had non kink folk ask me questions. It's important a person has knowledge first.

Edited March 20 by MistressWhipplash

[Rh****]

I don’t use phrases but I do wear a day collar. It doesn’t look like much to the vanilla people but it has sparked conversation with potentials who know what it is and what it means. Once the convo moves to a certain direction I can add the “got this for myself” to signal that I’m looking to play. At first it is subtle cues but if you know you know.

[MistressWhipplash]

I don't fish in lake vanilla. I go where kinksters are and laugh with friends. As a Dominant Sadist Woman a person will suffer for my pleasure. I love to whip and cane hard so a person willingly consenting to that is high priority. Fortunately I have that so at best a service submissive would be of use when my two are busy.

In public going shopping or eating out I am a tall blonde woman in black with red wearing chain covered boots. Pretty obvious that I'm a kinkster of some flavour and that works for me.

[Ho****]

Friday at 03:12 AM, MistressWhipplash said:

I don't fish in lake vanilla. I go where kinksters are and laugh with friends. As a Dominant Sadist Woman a person will suffer for my pleasure. I love to whip and cane hard so a person willingly consenting to that is high priority. Fortunately I have that so at best a service submissive would be of use when my two are busy.

In public going shopping or eating out I am a tall blonde woman in black with red wearing chain covered boots. Pretty obvious that I'm a kinkster of some flavour and that works for me.

Ha, I used to dress like that long before I knew the kink scene existed in real life. It was just a look I liked.

[MistressWhipplash]

Wednesday at 12:02 PM, Hotchpotch said:

Ha, I used to dress like that long before I knew the kink scene existed in real life. It was just a look I liked.

Yes, me too. Black with red are my happy colours and my chain knee high boots are comfortable so what's not to like. I carry on wearing stuff I always have. At the gym I wear a black tshirt with a Spartan ethos of warrior strength and old thigh high boots. It's a body builder gym so no one looks, we just train.

[Ho****]

Sunday at 01:04 PM, MistressWhipplash said:

Yes, me too. Black with red are my happy colours and my chain knee high boots are comfortable so what's not to like. I carry on wearing stuff I always have. At the gym I wear a black tshirt with a Spartan ethos of warrior strength and old thigh high boots. It's a body builder gym so no one looks, we just train.

Ha, if it's a gym I'm not in it :)

[Br****]

I’ll sometimes wear a day collar if it makes sense with the rest of my fit. Regardless if it’s a simple shirt-and-jeans kind of day or a tight floral dress with a high side slit for a special occasion, I almost always have my knee high black biker heels on. I’m not into riding but biker boots tend to have thicker soles, which is great for how much I like to walk. The heel is chunky and very manageable to walk. They’re sexy and comfy, and hint at what I like. Win win!