Impact Play

[Th****]

My slave loves ***. She likes it when I leave marks with my toys. I feel like she wants more however, I am not sure how to achieve that safely. Any suggestions?

[Aq****]

If more is what your partner desires, and that is something you are ok with as well. Communication first, but, perhaps starting to venture lightly outside of the safe zone might be in order?

[ge****]

You "feel" she wants more? Perhaps the first step should be a conversation with her to "know" if she wants more - she may not, or if she does will know her own body better than anyone to know what more to take, or what may have a better effect - for example perhaps rather than stingy toys, thuddy ones would work better etc

[Th****]

I didn't think about a thuddy toy. She likes the idea. Time to go shopping. Thank you fellow kinksters!

[Qu****]

As others have stated, talk with your partner to see what they want. Second is to attend workshops, classes, & local events so you can get proper training. All bdsm has some inherent risk.

[Pi****]

Have the conversation. Be specific. Understand limits and have safe words. All you can do is experiment within those bounds, and call it off IF needed. Try toys out on yourself to better understand how it feels!! Toys hit differently when swung hard vs soft. And you'll get what she's talking about more having experienced the toy yourself.

[To****]

Wanting to go deeper in impact play is common when trust grows... but “more” doesn’t automatically mean harder. Often it means more intention, more awareness, and more containment

If she enjoys marks, the first step isn’t the toy... it’s conversation. Ask what more means to her. Is it intensity, duration, anticipation, ritual, or emotional weight? People often ask for “more ***” when what they actually crave is more presence

From a safety perspective, a few things matter:
• Know the body: stick to safer areas, avoid joints, kidneys, spine, neck, and tailbone. Marks should be intentional, not accidental.
Warm up matters: physically and psychologically. It reduces *** and deepens sensation.
Pacing over power: increasing intensity gradually is far safer and often far more effective than jumping levels.
Clear signals: safewords or non-verbal cues that you both respect immediately.
Aftercare: not optional. Especially when marks and emotional vulnerability are involved

Also, marks carry consequences... social, emotional, practical. A responsible Dominant considers when, where, and how long they’ll last, not just how they look

If you’re unsure, slow down. Research techniques. Learn your tools properly. Confidence in impact play comes from competence, not ***

When a sub asks for more, what they’re really saying is:
“I trust you. Can you hold me safely at a deeper level?”

Answer that question first... the rest follows naturally.



PS: If she’s asking for more ***, don’t default to hitting harder.
Increase anticipation, extend duration, vary rhythm, and use positioning to intensify sensation safely. Layering sensations and adding psychological weight (ritual, voice, delay) often deepens the experience more than raw ***. Throughout longer scenes, keep checking circulation, breathing, and emotional state.

More *** is usually about depth, not damage... keeping the nervous system engaged, grounded, and trusting is the goal.