Anyone else feel the same way?

[sp****]

So like, I'm a soft dom/pleasure dom. I like praising but above all, I love knowing I'm trying my partner on and I'm fulfilling their fantasy so when I'm asked to degrade someone, it's bittersweet lol. I'm very creative so I'm naturally really good at dirty talk and roleplay but I really don't like hurting someone's feelings or saying hurtful and disrespectful/degrading things 😭 idk how I always end up in these situations.

I love that they enjoy it and they're getting off on it and knowing I'm doing a good job, but the better I get at it, the higher the chances I'm gonna be asked again lol. I can put on an act and play the role I'm asked in the moment but after I'm done I just feel so bad and idk if I'm just too sensitive lmao. I'm good at aftercare but sometimes I want some too in the form of reassurance that they know I really don't mean any of the things I say but I just usually just focus on their aftercare. Idk. There's not really a point to this but I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest a little.

I often get told I look cold and intimidating but really I'm just a gentle giant type lmao. Like sometimes I ruminate and feel like I'm a bad person for letting those words leave my mouth. Kinda upset that Im good at it, you know? Like how could I be capable of coming up with those cruel string of words. I never said much about it because It feels like it would be a buzz kill or something. Knowing I'm satisfying and fulfilling their kinks or fantasies makes it worth it though. I just wish I wasn't such a softie lmao

Idk. Just wanted to ramble and vent for a bit. It is really fun putting on a good act though, I like that I can be whatever they need me to be.

[Th****]

This sounds like the way I enjoy Domming! I may have sadist ideas but at heart I just want to smother someone in care and affection and taken care of thoroughly. And it doesn't even have to be sexual, maybe teasing and flustering and touches but the full act doesn't have to happen in order for me to be happy. So long as my sub at the time is happy with my praise and worship and affection then I am happy
AND this is how I enjoy most of my doms. Someone who pampers me with literally anything I want (within reason of financial and physical abilities) and flirting and touches don't go beyond Adult company worthy (heavy petting really) until I'm ready for more sexual intimacy. The absolute praise and devotion in such a soft level is exactly what I enjoy 😊 I don't like mean names usually, I'm not all into *** but curious, and *** makes me feel bad a lot of the time.

You have to find subs or play partner(s) that enjoy the same aspects as you. And it's not easy to find exact matches, nearly impossible, so some compromise is needed. A discussion about that is very important too so you don't go too far out of each other's comfort zones.

[Ta****]

This is why aftercare is or should be for both in my humble opinion, yes a sub needs to know they are safe, being cared for and brought back from subspace safely but for me a Dom needs the valudation too most definitely

[Ta****]

*validation

[sp****]

Yeah, it can take a toll on someone sometimes. I think especially if it's something that goes against your nature. I don't like being mean lol. There's always a little *** that they might think I meant what I said or did. I would feel really bad. But I guess that's why it's important to get into the details and the why of the act. So you can find that subtle balance. The Goldilocks zone I guess.

[Deleted Member]

You're allowed to have limits too. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you have to.

[Deleted Member]

I totally understand what you mean, as a Sub I'm not remotely into *** or ***, it does absolutely nothing for me, as a Domme it's equally the same, my main goal is pleasure, care adoration and devotion, when a Sub misbehaves I have my methods for punishment however *** and *** isn't the aim, I tend to use deprivation.

[Ma****]

Tops/Doms experience drop, too, and need aftercare, too

[Si****]

What helps me is to talk through the play session after it has happened. I specifically ask for what my partner liked or disliked. Hopefully you will be reassured that they did indeed like your degrading.

[ra****]

Can i recommend that you take care of your aftercare too and you are due aftercare as a top too. It should be a basic part of your partnership. You should sit down and discuss aftercare. Doms deserve aftercare. I plan aftercare… as a “sub” or bottom but that is due to going to munches classes and learning about roles and knowing that Doms need it just as much as us. If the sub is unwilling then are they good for your soul. You deserve something for giving no matter if it is something you enjoy giving or giving out of GGG. Good luck.

[Sk****]

What are your forms of after care for Dom’s from there sub?

[Fu****]

I like being called a good little slut or my favorite cum dumpster. But if it hurts you talk about it. Im very much into providing pleasure, even when it hurts me too. Im trying to be more aware of my limits and communicating enough

[Tr****]

Don't *** your words. If you don't know what to say remain silent. Silence is very powerful. Leaves you mysterious and makes them wonder if they are doing it right and probably makes them feel insecure which is what they are going for. Say what comes naturally. Will be more.enjoyable for you both. Remember Noone knows what's going on in your mind so fake it til ya make it if you feel akward. Remain calm , cool, in control and in charge. Make them talk and tell you about why they like that what made them like that when was the first time they tried this and what they got off on . What embarrassed them before, that will give you more things to say. Tell them they need to worship you until your satisfied. Or give them a time out in the corner if you need time to regroup. Also watch porn involving ***. Should spark some ideas