Learning Styles, Platforms, and Being New to Kink

[JusticeForHJ]

Hello all,

I have introduced myself by the way, as linked below.

My question today is about having sort of remained in the learning phase for BDSM. This relates to communication and how people engage as a substitute, or perhaps before meeting at in-person spaces (munches, events, one to one meetups, etc.). What I'm tying to understand is about how different styles of interaction are typically facilitated through different platforms, like this website. Does that impact those of us who don't naturally thrive on fast, public or performative exchanges?

Some spaces, not this site, but another seem to be more geared up towards attributes like wit/being quick on your feet, through confident and short comments, while being very public and bold in how you present yourself (proud extroversion). Other spaces like this one feel conversational in a more human way and less emphasis on the different "-isms" but the direction doesn't really seem to lend itself towards more abstract expression. I remember the group chat used to be emphasised over forum participation, I'm not sure if that is still the case.

I don't necessarily feel in the right depth anywhere, so as someone that is really quite inexperienced when it comes to BDSM (and relationships, actually), I am wondering if this (me hitting my head against the wall):

- is just part of the learning curve, not a genuine mismatch in communication style

- means some platforms are better suited to a less analytical approach, or if it is analytical doing so with a very specific, high confidence and outwardly driven manner

- means newer people can still navigate the different communication strategies in the scene (with a focus on beginning online)

I am seeking perspectives from people who have had similar hiccups or had to overcome barriers like these and figured out where they actually are, versus where they thought they were. What helped if you didn't really benefit much from in-person events?

[LADY_GRIMM]

I'm new to the sites, community, and the kinky world. Dom Sub Living on YouTube has been my go to and has helped me so much! They have an amazing community and lots of incredible information.

[ey****]

14 hours ago, JusticeForHJ said:

My question today is about having sort of remained in the learning phase for BDSM.

we all continue to learn

you will learn faster without chatgpt writing your posts. 

[Dc****]

That felt like a bit of a snarky response there blacksheep…I’m new myself and I related to much of what Justice wrote Gpt aided or otherwise.

[ey****]

3 minutes ago, Dcntlyndcnt said:

That felt like a bit of a snarky response there blacksheep…I’m new myself and I related to much of what Justice wrote Gpt aided or otherwise.

the thing with GPT is people are relying on it a little too much.  If they are inexperienced/learning they won't be able to spot errenous things it's spouts

also, in a lifestyle where, ahem, "communication is key" getting gpt to write  posts isn't something which helps with communication skills.

 

[JusticeForHJ]

5 minutes ago, Dcntlyndcnt said:

That felt like a bit of a snarky response there blacksheep…I’m new myself and I related to much of what Justice wrote Gpt aided or otherwise.

When you become more experienced you must also become more verbally proficient, like Mr Sheep.

[ey****]

to get into the answer...

most communication styles in general improves over time, and involvement.   It is ultimately important to be yourself (yourself!!!! not GPT) and also to be aware of shortfalls. Don't be afraid of things you don't know the answer to, but ask the questions or research yourself 

If you're looking at things like "analtyical" or "strategies" - there isn't one.  Experience, communication, so on shouldn't be seen as some form of 'gaming the algorithm'

The main thing is to take your time, take responsibility for your own learning/shortfalls. Contribute where you can, if you want. Don't participate where you don't, instead use it to read/learn others perspectives.   The internet lacks tone, munches/etc have tone and body language.

I spent a good couple of months reading and learning before starting to go places in person; some people move faster. Neither is wrong.  No one expects people to turn up as ready-made experts.

[JusticeForHJ]

Mr Sheep,

Because I have had negative experiences, mostly the other site, I find I am prone to get sucked into the drama, and found people prone to gossip in a very negative way in the local scene. It is not so much that I need a script, more that I can't shut up sometimes. I do not become so much snappy or insulting back, it is more of an ideological deviation with me, a bit sort of rambling when others prefer to play ping pong and because I am not that much of an introvert, when I was more socially dominant I was still able to steer others away from that rhythm. A lot of negative things have happened though. I am used to the assumption that I use GPT for my writing style, this was insisted before it was even a thing. Before then, it was just incomprehensible because I had adopted more philosophical flows from individuals on politics forums. They did not always mean very much but always sounded poetic. I have wondered at times if GPT was actually modelled on us.