Learning how to help my switch of a husband 💕

[te****]

I’m definetely not a domme or switch in any capacity, but I love my husband very much and he works really hard for us so I’d like to learn a little bit. :) Not just in the bedroom but outside as well, I’d like to know how to make him feel just as safe and comforted as he makes me feel. He gets all shy and embarrassed when you compliment him- it’s really cute. He likes doing what he’s told, having things done for him, he likes being given rewards, head pats, really anything you’d imagine a soft good boy would like. I just feel a little awkward doing it, is there any way to get past that or any other tips/ tricks you guys might have?

[Je****]

I might be wrong but your awkwardness might stem from the fact that you doing all that is going against the “norms” you have in your head, there’s really nothing magical to be done than you viewing it as reciprocating the love and affection you get from him in ways that he loves. We are all different at the core and most men unfortunately don’t know how to express emotions so just keep doing what you are doing and be a safe space for him to be HIM around you.

[Deleted Member]

The thing you have to understand for many subs (male and female) is the desire to be accepting. What I mean by that is that a sub enjoys being reactive, taking his/her direction from the dom(me) in the relationship. Your simple, consistent authority is what will allow him to thrive in that role. Being the dominant half of a relationship is a lot of work. You have to make the decisions, and be confident in them. You have to come up with tasks, punishments, and rewards. It's demanding, but it's also extremely rewarding for you and your partner.

Perhaps a good way to start would be to get a small notebook and simply write down punishments and rewards, phrases, or other things he responds well to. Good luck, and please keep this thread up to date with your progress.

[Me****]

I am in the same boat honey. My husband expressed an interested in switching into a submissive role. Im totally out of my depth when it comes to being dominant. I research articles and videos and take notes. It has taken time and practice. Lately it seems to be easier to slip that hat on. I feel more enjoyment than awkwardness. It just takes practice.

[Ba****]

My first reaction would be to say; get another dom or switch for him or both of you

But if you need to be monogamous and this is more about life in general rather than just for the bedroom i‘d say pick a part of your shared life in which you have most control over and lead him there
To use a stereotypical example the archetype of „the head-maid“ is still a submissive position or(to be obnoxiously pretentious) you can internally personify the shared household and serve it together this way you wouldn’t need to be the dom directly but acting as representative for the idea of one
Just one idea with extra role-play potential

And assuming he is usually your dom, don’t worry too much about him feeling safe and comforted, chances are he already does
Also things get less awkward with practice and repetition

Hope that helped
Good luck

[Deleted Member]

Hey girl! The first step to me would be deciding if it’s something you actually are into yourself, or if you’re only doing it because he wants to. If you’re not into it, the performance won’t be comfortable. That being said, if you ARE into it and just feel shy and awkward, communicate that I’d imagine as your husband, he would be reassuring! I’ve been in situations with my partner that are very new to me, sometimes you just have to throw back a glass of wine and remind yourself you ARE THAT BIOTCH.

[ha****]

Love. Respect. Open communication. And please, dear God, develop an affinity for calling him a, "good boy," whenever and wherever his efforts make you smile.

[Sh****]

It sounds like words of affirmation are an interest for him. My 2 cents as an AMAB Switch dial in on romance and affection. It's a very complex topic of men, masculinity and praise in society. Everyone complains they don't have it but refuse to acknowledge they need praise. Soft Dommes are not common, being a man it feels unnatural to ask to be treated like a man-child. Being pampered, put at the forefront of the relationship and given praise simply for being who you are. It's toxic male entitlement in so many hetero relationships it gives the ick to ask to be treated like that. It's still something I see a lot of people Switching their dynamics for. I myself slip into that same space of needing comfort to emotionally decompress sometimes.

Own being that space for him, to just turn his brain off and accept affection and praise. It sounds like he feels uncomfortable submitting so focus on creating a space in which he enjoys submitting to you in. He wants to and he enjoys it but needs a nudge to allow himself into that space.

[sp****]

I am personally going through the same thing with my relationship. Some great advice here.

[Bo****]

You have to ask yourself does this dynamic take away from You? Do you want to shift the power to him or are you looking to evolve your nature? Both are possible but you have to have a clear goal in mind. I would almost say you should look to the roll of a Mistress. Make him and his tasks be satisfying to you in and out of the bed room. Command him to take control and give him his desired praise when he succeeds. 

[Ta****]

While it is evident that you care for your husband and wish to support him, meaningful and lasting change in a partner’s behavior, particularly regarding motivation or initiative, must originate from within the individual rather than through external techniques or role adjustments.

If he does not inherently recognize the need for improvement and commit to it himself, such efforts are unlikely to succeed long-term. Furthermore, seeking guidance in this forum may indicate that respect and interest in the relationship have already begun to erode, often signaling a trajectory that is difficult to reverse without mutual willingness.

I recommend initiating an honest, direct conversation with him outside any specialized dynamic and considering professional couples counseling to assess whether genuine change is possible. Relationships require effort from both partners to thrive.

[su****]

You will feel awkward standing in a place of dominance because it's new not because it's wrong.
The first time a lover wanted me to smack him across the face - really smack him - I did it weak, he requested I do it again, harder and I realized that this was a pleasure moment for him and something that would help me be stronger in other areas of my life. I did it like an absolute bitch and we both felt good.

It's nice that you have a safe relationship where you can both grow, make mistakes and keep growing.

Now go tell that man what a good boy he's been and have him rub your feet.