We need a new dedicated room in the chat rooms. The rules need changed.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Curvykate said:

I have the app and can access them all?

Are you Premium? Could it be membership? I tried for *an age* to help Lace find other rooms, and he couldn't get them. He's not the only one, just the name I best remember.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Lady_Char said:

Are you Premium? Could it be membership? I tried for *an age* to help Lace find other rooms, and he couldn't get them. He's not the only one, just the name I best remember.

No. I have a room limit but I can access them all.

[Mz****]

I can't even see chatrooms from the app, I use the mobile site and apart from the 'preview' (who's in the room) it works well, I expect that's my android preferences fault..but I find the app hurts my eyes, and it doesn't feel intuitive, welcoming or friendly at all so it's rare I use it.

[Mz****]

8 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

Are you Premium? Could it be membership? I tried for *an age* to help Lace find other rooms, and he couldn't get them. He's not the only one, just the name I best remember.

I'm premium but can't see them.

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, MzJax said:

I'm premium but can't see them.

Android or iOS? I’m iOS. May be the difference?

[Mz****]

5 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Android or iOS? I’m iOS. May be the difference?

Android, (Samsung)

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Android or iOS? I’m iOS. May be the difference?

I'm Android and I can see them.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Lady_Char said:

I'm Android and I can see them.

But you’re premium?

[ab****]

I think the easiest thing to do is if a topic is brought up that happens to trigger you, take a break.
I know this might sound insensitive but this is a fetish based site. Fetish will be discussed.
Maybe when traffic builds their will be more rooms for specifics.
I think its much easier for one person to remove themselves when something is discussed that triggers them rather than try and police every branch and flow of everyone else's conversation.

I'm sorry... but a vanilla only room?
No thanks. This is fetish.com

If something triggers you, take a break.
Unless you're personally attacked, then of course that's different.

I'm kinda sorry if this sounds insensitive but I'm also kinda not.

[Ar****]

1 minute ago, absolutdoc said:

I'm sorry... but a vanilla only room?
No thanks. This is fetish.com

It may be, but you're forgetting the first rule of the community - we are people first, kinksters second.

[Je****]

6 minutes ago, absolutdoc said:

I think the easiest thing to do is if a topic is brought up that happens to trigger you, take a break.
I know this might sound insensitive but this is a fetish based site. Fetish will be discussed.
Maybe when traffic builds their will be more rooms for specifics.
I think its much easier for one person to remove themselves when something is discussed that triggers them rather than try and police every branch and flow of everyone else's conversation.

I'm sorry... but a vanilla only room?
No thanks. This is fetish.com

If something triggers you, take a break.
Unless you're personally attacked, then of course that's different.

I'm kinda sorry if this sounds insensitive but I'm also kinda not.

when it happens a lot or a good whack of the time u cant take a break. may as well just leave the site, and people will if stuff like this keeps happening. 

nothing wrong with human compassion and some understanding.

 

i do agree there shouldnt really be a vanilla room though

[ab****]

6 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

It may be, but you're forgetting the first rule of the community - we are people first, kinksters second.

I'm not forgetting. Fetish.com. You have to expect this not to be PG rated. I'm sure there are plenty of chat rooms that restrict fetish talk.
If we were to police every specific areas that every person doesn't like...
I think the main focus should be abusive people. That can be policed.

[Mz****]

19 minutes ago, absolutdoc said:

I'm sorry... but a vanilla only room?
No thanks. This is fetish.com

If something triggers you, take a break.
Unless you're personally attacked, then of course that's different.

I'm kinda sorry if this sounds insensitive but I'm also kinda not.

Vanilla topics are as valid as kink ones, whether it's reaching out to not feel alone, to find support, seek relationship advice, what to wear, cope with family and stress, and a bazillion other things that may not be kinky but that matter to us as kinky people..some of us are here for more than just the kink, it's the friendships and relationships that grow that keep us here rather than a purely kink focus to absolutely everything and E/everyone..theres room for more than just fetish on the forums, there should be in the chat too..no ones saying get rid of the kink, or even the cnc, we're trying to suggest ways to accommodate Both needs.

 

[Mz****]

ALL needs rather *

A place for more extreme kinks, fetishes and lifestyles to be discussed freely and with informed choice to enter can only be a good thing surely, Opt in rather than opt out?

[qu****]

Nobody's suggesting a purely vanilla room, just a room that isn't necessarily purely kink based, I'm sure nobody would call Cade vanilla, but when I used chat quite often chats with him could be classed as vanilla, also vanilla shaming is as bad as kink shaming, perhaps we should just stick to the original posts intention

[ab****]

I'm not saying don't reach out or don't act like normal, kind people... im just saying you should expect kink to be discussed.
There doesn't need to be a separation between kink and acting kind.
There shouldn't be.

[Pervy_Paul]

If you start banning topics that trigger people you will end up with a purely vanilla room, and even then it'll continue. Some people are triggered by clowns, spiders, rats, snakes... and probably hundreds of other things. Maybe less severely, but I've seen people say they're leaving the room because of all of those things. 

Edited March 4, 2021 by Pervy_Paul

[Vermin666]

This is a kink site and for all kinksters to enjoy however I don’t think any such site or chatroom can be a safe space and never upset or trigger some of the members. It seems all the staff and moderators work hard to try to keep the scammers and new aggressive or rude people out of chat so we can all enjoy chatting about various topics unfortunately it won’t always be topics you want to read about or discuss and if so the best option is to leave and pop back later, as an non paying member I am happy that I can pm and go in to use the chat room, I think we are lucky to have perks that you would often have to pay for elsewhere, I wouldn’t therefore expect the site to filter every topic or comment as this would make a chatroom impossible and no fun for anyone. We all have different likes and dislikes so sometimes we just need to agree to disagree and be as polite and accepting of others as possible there unfortunately will always be some that want to spoil it for others or cause problems that’s life and you can’t filter that out.

[Je****]

9 minutes ago, Vermin666 said:

This is a kink site and for all kinksters to enjoy however I don’t think any such site or chatroom can be a safe space and never upset or trigger some of the members. It seems all the staff and moderators work hard to try to keep the scammers and new aggressive or rude people out of chat so we can all enjoy chatting about various topics unfortunately it won’t always be topics you want to read about or discuss and if so the best option is to leave and pop back later, as an non paying member I am happy that I can pm and go in to use the chat room, I think we are lucky to have perks that you would often have to pay for elsewhere, I wouldn’t therefore expect the site to filter every topic or comment as this would make a chatroom impossible and no fun for anyone. We all have different likes and dislikes so sometimes we just need to agree to disagree and be as polite and accepting of others as possible there unfortunately will always be some that want to spoil it for others or cause problems that’s life and you can’t filter that out.

But even with this someone is being told to leave...

If a CNC room was there, that talk would auto go in there and everyone is happy and able to talk freely. 

Instead of someone being triggered and ***d out of the conversation and sat on their own upset and shaken depending on whats said. It's not very fair.

We all have kinks but these CNC ones are more extreme and can relate to extreme real life trauma more so than a spider as its someones body, for example, being ***d by someone else and that person has nightmares. So to walk in and see someone saying they would find that fun and exciting is extremely distressing bringing back thoughts/memories. A more focused extreme kink room means a safe place for CNC to be talked about and the other rooms are kept lighter too. Everyone is happy. 

But seems people are making excuses to keep triggers in a general chat and would rather see people upset and ***d out than accomodate a way for people to coincide together peacefully. (I dont mean you, i mean in general)  x

[Vermin666]

Extra rooms can and have been opened for certain topics the problem is not everyone will go into these rooms and some will automatically go into the lobby and start bringing it up randomly. while we all have triggers or issues and it can feel nasty we have to be realistic that there’s no way to filter every comment and when things have been mentioned moderators can deal with certain situations but there’s a limit to what the site can do without extra costs and funds.

[Je****]

23 minutes ago, Vermin666 said:

Extra rooms can and have been opened for certain topics the problem is not everyone will go into these rooms and some will automatically go into the lobby and start bringing it up randomly. while we all have triggers or issues and it can feel nasty we have to be realistic that there’s no way to filter every comment and when things have been mentioned moderators can deal with certain situations but there’s a limit to what the site can do without extra costs and funds.

Oh i totally understand this. All that can be done for the first while is direct people to the additional rooms if they bring up certain stuff? But at least amongst regular users these topics would be kept within the rooms and already dramatically decreasing any upset. 

I do think the app and other rooms thing could be an issue for this. 

[qu****]

When I first joined there were the occassional pop-ups reminding the lobby rules when certain topics were mentioned and a suggestion to chat in another room and all seemed happy with this if I remember rightly ,

[Pervy_Paul]

I think you're mistaken there Q, that must have been somewhere else. The Lobby was the only permanent room for a long time and it's always been a mix of kink and non-kink. 

[qu****]

Possibly, but even so it's not beyond the realms of possibility for such a thing to be bought in, not banning kink in the lobby, but the more hardcore side of things that have already been mentioned, also for the few that ignore the lobby rule to be more respectful of ongoing conversations when they enter, I hope this makes sense, could possibly be worded better

[Pervy_Paul]

The Lobby is the only visible room for thousands of people who use the app, there's no point trying to direct them elsewhere, they can't see the other rooms.