Play Partner vs Life Partner

[Ki****]

What do you really want? At first, I thought this app was for both. Then I dropped it for the number of picture requests. I'm back but unsure. In the Geek world, a D&D playing wife is winning the lottery. Is it different here? What key words give it away? (Since LTR doesn't seem to mean what I thought it meant.) Is there a better app for it?

Disclaimer: I was out of the dating scene for 20 years. In my youth, we had magazines and books explaining current courtship rituals. On top of that, I'm a Southern Woman living in the West. Still miffed that I have to do my own car maintenance, lift furniture and pay for meals. Don't really understand Western men's purpose.

[Mo****]

Play partner is the key word ! For me as a dom! The word LTR is like a NO for me ! Find your play partner and afterwords , things can change and updated accordingly !

[ra****]

Here men just want sex. So i mostly use tinder as its based on matching rather than a free for all.
I'm dominant and want a actual relationship.

[No****]

I know people who’ve met their life partners on here

[CG****]

So in my experience this app is better than a lot of them, if you are from suburban or rural area. Most dating apps either have NO kinky connection points, and too many people to weed out, or make you pay (no free option) for a change to connect in a kinky way.

I have had better luck on here than anywhere else, but that still isn't "great". The biggest struggle is vetting and not letting the "horny" or desire for physical intimacy lead you.

I've had a few dates off of this, and only 1 went "kinky" right away, and that one wasn't such a good fit. I recommend setting all view and sort by setting to the maximum you would be willing to drive for a date (without staying overnight, because it could go poorly.)

[do****]

Both would work for me

[b0****]

I am curious too

[Deleted Member]

I'm new to the app. I found it while searching for a local BDSM club because after being out of the dating scene for many years, and being unsatisfied with vanilla (could have been due to a self centered partner) I am looking to explore more options and discover what does it for me.

All but maybe 3 of the messages I've received since I joined earlier today have been photo requests, offers to pick me, or request for ***s. To say I'm overwhelmed is an understatement.

[de****]

Life partner= not marriage just stuck in the app of their choice

[Gy****]

I've tried.to find my forever play partner on here, but most seem to only want to play games, or want causal, or want you as there 5th back up. Soooo hard to keep hope that something genuine will develop on here.

[Ry****]

Western men's purpose? Whoever you are let's drop the cultural gender normative bull shit. You are on a kink app. If you want a long term relationship then just say that, and leave it at that. Go to bumble or something then.

[Wr****]

I am open to both but do want an ongoing relationship to even be play partners. I haven't found too many others looking for that on here (seem to be many that are looking for hook ups and that isn't what I am interested in).

[gi****]

Ltr but experiences are ok also.

[cum4meSlowly]

Picture requests particular of a personal nature are not good no one should feel pressured to provide them.
Magazines and books that provide dating advice back in the day was great. As far as lifting furniture and paying for meals I know I do that (sometimes too much) so keep looking and maybe you will find a proper gentleman. But yeah the dating game is not easy. Good luck

[Ba****]

Well i got this app with absolutely no expectations aside from assuming i’d be banned after a month so my experience here has been almost unnervingly positive^^

But i found that in practice this seems to be more of a janky forum app with integrated event calendar and location registry and for that it’s not bad

And in general i’m looking for something more long term whether that’ll be a romance, bromance or something in between is something “we” can decide as things go on

Ps “a southern woman living in the west“ ey?? So you are australinan and live in ireland?? Also i‘m not even sure what a „western man“ is supposed to be in this context, and while i should count as one that like a dozen levels of specificity too far removed from my personal identity for my „purpose“ to be representative of anything, at that scale even dropping the „western“ or narrowing it down by continent doesn’t really change much

[Deleted Member]

The app is like any other place with too many men. It's uncomfortable and everyone's flighty.

[In****]

Both men and women are struggling for the exact opposite reason lol. If we were to use water as an example for men it's like a desert in the summer, for women it's the ocean in a hurricane. Because of that these apps rarely have success. And there isn't a fix truthfully unless you make men pay and women go through a bunch of verification hoops.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, purplpeopleeater said:

The app is like any other place with too many men. It's uncomfortable and everyone's flighty.

i myself have more men reach out to me than women despite my straight orientation. as a man, yes, we are ***s.
but apps, in general (in ref. to OP) are two different games depending on what gender you are. it’s a miracle at all anyone gets any level of rapport. of all the 10is apps i’ve used, FEELD has earned me the most dates (x2) and FET has earned me the most attention, albeit it from a gender i’m not interested in. i did however, despite the occasional d**k pick request, make a good friend on here. Relationships (LONG TERM, or otherwise) are out there, it’s just few and far between, and it feels also like anything else, requires patience and acceptance.

[Ja****]

LTR means long term relationship in pretty much every context I'm aware of, unless I'm missing something. But one way this app is no different than many other apps out there is that there are plenty of people who don't bother to read profiles, and plenty of men who will lead with d**k pics or ask for nudes. That's unfortunately online dating in 2026. Personally I always find it a little strange if someone is looking for vanilla LTR on an app like this, but it makes sense if you're looking for an LTR D/s dynamic or LTR primary poly. In any case, to each their own. I try to respect whatever people say they are looking for and only contact people who I think are looking for the same thing as me.

[Ro****]

You can find either here, but s***drun the process by stating your intent day one. Biggest piece of advice? Believe their actions over their words. If there’s a mismatch, they’re likely just tailoring their answers to please you.

[CG****]

I feel like there is way too much "gendered" talk in this thread. Venting about what "insert gender here" have as expectations and wants, is always going to sound sexist, or like whining. How about we all just realize that finding a match of kink, relationship type, and non-kink related preferences is very difficult. It is difficult for everyone.

As far as the LTR meaning, that is a simple term but still means different things to everyone who uses it. With one LTR means marriage or collaring, with another it means a consistent play partner, and with others it means friendship (which is a type of "relationship"). This is why vetting is so important.

Pictures are hard to talk about. Sometimes people misunderstand the meaning. I don't talk to people who don't have a profile picture, because I have been catfished MANY times, and it isn't worth the risk for me. But if they are asking for risqué or sexual photos, on day 1, that is just lazy. If you want porn, google it.

Rant done

[ba****]

It’s a fetish site. 🤷‍♂️

[Wi****]

I have a life partner. I'm looking for a play partner who would mutually like to play for life. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I married my ride or die. We are a near perfect match in every way... except the bedroom. Luck for me, we match in our opinions on non-monogamy!

But finding my long term Play Partner hasn't been easy.


 

[La****]

Unfortunately, this type of problem will never be resolved. You either need to pick one (kink casual only or vanilla ltr only which you need to find on another app), or gotta commit to have an unbelievable amount of patience to be able to find one who are down for both.
I’ve been exclusively searching for a kink long term relationship. I succeed twice. But remembering how long I’ve been in the scene, even those are already too generous. The problem is in the dating scene in general. Ppl are either too tired to start over, too broken or too immature to be in one.

[Es****]

I wanna through in a male opinion that is not the same as the other guys chalking it all up to being a fetish app. Yes this is a fetish app, and yes many people, gender non-restrictive, will use that to mean it's all about casual sexy and getting off. But it's not. Not to me, nor to my wife. Are we open to casual? Yes, but ONLY if that is also what the other person wants. And even then we take time to set it up and get to know the person.

Ideally, what we REALLY want. Is to find one or two people who match most (all is a fantasy) of our kinks. Has shared hobbies and wants to grow a life together. We're willing to take the time to get to know a person. Virtually if need be until we can meet up irl. Maybe have weekly game nights online. Do digital movie nights. Talk until the wee hours of the morning.

At least that is what we are hoping to find on this app. We get we'll have to deal with a lot of fakes to find someone real. Been ghosted once already (why aren't adults actually adults anymore?)

LTR does mean LTR, at least to my wife and l it does. I'm sure we can't be the only ones. Now granted by wanting a throuple, or even a quadrouple, we have other challenges over the 1v1 LTR relationship. But I'm certain they are out there. Likely not close by and moving would need to take place, but still out there.