Death by Drowning (TW)

[Deleted Member]

(TW : ***)

 

Swimming in the North Sea in February is not the kind of thing many would spend their day off work doing. In fact it was probably the last thing she would have ever imagined herself doing.

Yes she had dreamed of drifting out to sea one day, but it had been a gentle, soft, and inevitable imagining. A coming together of body, earth and soul. Maybe in the warmth of the seas in the South of France when she was in her 70s. It would look like an accident. And her boys would take comfort in the fact that their mum had always loved the ocean.

But she wasn’t in her 70s, nor was she in the South of France. And even though she loved the ocean, she hated the cold.

She could no longer recall the details of the busy buzz in her head that took her on her lonely drive that day. She didn’t remember where she was heading or what her intentions had been. Had she even had a purpose? Had she ever had a purpose? 

In fact her head felt quite empty by the time she arrived at the hidden little cove just outside Whitby Bay. 

You were up on the hilltop too weren’t you?
You thought you recognised the shape of her?
You thought the sudden shriek that came from her lungs when she flung herself into her icy homecoming, was the same sound that haunted your nightmares.

But it wasn’t was it?

And when you looked again, the image had faded.

You felt an uneasy relief as you told yourself you had imagined it all.

Afterall, it wasn’t like you could have done anything about it anyway. 

Her brief existence had been as made up as those stories you imagined she told.

So you did what the world does everyday. You kept on.

And you did not see.

As her body fought with the daggers of the mighty ocean. As the waters enveloped and consumed her. Like a monster. You didn’t see her fight it. You didn’t see her lose.

It wasn’t peaceful, like she had imagined. It wasn’t romantic or beautiful.

It was death.

Death by drowning.

[Deleted Member]

I understand 🌹

[Deleted Member]

Sound like she could have enjoyed bath dunking session

[Jo****]

Great.

[Submissivepsi]

So sad but beautifully written

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, TAROTT said:

I understand 🌹

Thanks for reading. It’s a story about a battle and hopefully I managed not to romanticise death but capture the conflict between the desire and the *** of the reality of it.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Submissivepsi said:

So sad but beautifully written

Thank you 🙏 

[Deleted Member]

21 hours ago, Joshis138 said:

Great.

Thank you 

[Deleted Member]

21 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

Sound like she could have enjoyed bath dunking session

Well it is interesting that you say that, because I do wonder if my own pleasure at *** is a way to manage my conflicted desires to hurt myself. Somehow it’s more okay of someone else does it. 

[MasterxPoet]

Well,  nice to see you are writing about unicorns and rainbows!

 

 

[Deleted Member]

27 minutes ago, MasterxPoet said:

Well,  nice to see you are writing about unicorns and rainbows!

 

 

I did actually write a poem on that theme once 

[MasterxPoet]

Did the unicorn become decapitated by the rainbow?

[Deleted Member]

Thankfully I’m a switch and when things get so bad I drown my sub side and let my Dominant side take care of me. I’m now spiritually built like a Tiger tank. Look into how you can find your own protective armour which can cope with the rough times 🌹

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, MasterxPoet said:

Did the unicorn become decapitated by the rainbow?

No it was a rare positive poem 

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, TAROTT said:

Thankfully I’m a switch and when things get so bad I drown my sub side and let my Dominant side take care of me. I’m now spiritually built like a Tiger tank. Look into how you can find your own protective armour which can cope with the rough times 🌹

Well I just write it out of me. It’s cathartic . I’m glad you found a way too. 

[Deleted Member]

🤞💪👍

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, RestlessRaven said:

Well it is interesting that you say that, because I do wonder if my own pleasure at *** is a way to manage my conflicted desires to hurt myself. Somehow it’s more okay of someone else does it. 

Hurting shouldn’t be the word. Unless you meant it? But maybe I rather you pm about it as it’s very personal ? I would like to hear your version.