Popular Post Da**** Posted March 18 Popular Post I’ve learned a lot of lessons in my lifetime. Some beautiful, some good, some bad, and some ugly. Every lesson was gained through experience and those lessons shaped, molded, and changed who I was to become. It changed how I see the world, the way I interact with people, how I treat others, and how I listen. One of the most important lessons I have ever learned is when to walk away. Now I’m not going to sit here and preach to you about what I think is right and wrong. I’m just going to share how I personally identify very quickly and early on, if someone is worth investing my time in or if I need to pursue other people. It really comes down to one thing, one very important thing. It’s not complicated, or hard to understand. So pay attention because this could make all the difference for some people. When I am with someone and we are getting to know each other. If something comes up that I don’t like or a behavior happens that I’m not a fan of, I don’t fly off the handle. I ask for clarification, what their intent was. I express calmly and politely how it makes me feel and I try and work towards a mutual solution we can agree upon. Now if that person is not willing to hear me, doesn’t think it’s a problem and isn’t interested in finding a solution towards the issue, then I have a decision to make. I am not a woman who will bring the same things up repeatedly and expect a man or anyone else to change who they are just to appease me. I have become a firm believer that if you have to change who someone is to fit your preferences then you do not like or love that person for who they are, you like or love a version of them that you have created in your head that does not exist. Bitching and moaning expecting someone to change is not practical and often doesn’t go the way you want it to. A person is who they are, you can ask them to change certain things but at the end of the day they have to want to and it has to be something that isn’t a core characteristic of who they are. Otherwise the change is ***d, creates resentment and often doesn’t last. So when I have a problem, if I’ve discussed it and it continues to happen then I know it’s not a mistake, it’s not by chance, it’s just who they are. So I need to decide if I can live with that, or accept it. If I can, then I move on and don’t mention it again because I made a choice to love them despite it. If I can’t, then I walk away. It’s not a form of manipulation, a do as I say or else. It’s accepting that, that person is who they are and who they are, isn’t what you want. That’s ok. You shouldn’t have to *** someone to be something they aren’t. You also shouldn’t have to change who you are to be what someone wants. If you have to do either then the situation you are in, probably isn’t healthy or right for you.
vr**** Posted March 19 Beautifully written and your honesty is amazing and wonderful. I know I sent you a message recently and we might not be attracted to each other but I'm totally on the same page
ch**** Posted March 19 I came to the same realization too, just used different language in that i really truly feel people are gonna do what theyre gonna do.
Mo**** Posted March 19 I can relate to this on several levels. Both in myself and in others. At times, it takes a while for me to remember this because I am temporarily focused and fixated on what I want. But in the end, it is what it is, even if left with a bitter taste. Sometimes, it's as easy as changing the channel. Other times, I have to except it daily. There are times when I expected things to be different here on the app. I figure a D/s dynamic came with expectations that were understood before accepting the roles. However, in the end, people are people no matter where they are.
Mr**** Posted March 19 Sober perspective. Thank you for emphasizing the freedom to choose and one's accountability of one's decisions.
Ka**** Posted March 19 I almost didn’t read this because I don’t read the stories here. But I’m glad I clicked into this post. Very well said and great advice.
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