Anxiety and depression

[Deleted Member]

Does the darkness ever end?

My counsellor reflected back this week, that it sounded like I was on a beach with waves crashing against me and they just kept coming.

I said the thing is, if I were on a beach and the waves were getting too much, I’d walk away.

but I’m immobilised. 
 

I don’t know how to stop the waves.

id like them to take me and drown me. But the sand anchor me down and the waves keep thrashing.

I look strong like an anchor. Holding fast. Not giving way.

But I was never meant to wash up here. Nothing makes sense. 
 

And I am oh so very tired of keeping on.

Someone told me once, if the dark thoughts don’t go away. Just give yourself a deadline far away, like 10 years from now, because things will get better.

10 more years?

Im strong you see. I function. I conform.

And the waves thrash and I swallow their salty taste. But really it’s just too much.

I try get help. Doctors, mental health services, counselling. But nothing.

 

im tired and I’m tired.

 

wash me away 

[Ar****]

When the waves are too strong and you feel they will break you and sweep you away before long, remember the reed. Tall, soft, and gentle, no matter how violent the storm or how strong the current, it bends, and remains.

 

Don't try to stop the waves. Let them run around you, because they don't matter and can only reflect back at you the energy you give them - the reed knows this, and that is why it doesn't fight. All that does matter is you.

[Deleted Member]

Your mind needs to press the brakes Raven as I said you are not alone

[SP****]

Aww Raven. It does get better, honestly. I was diagnosed with repetitive depression disorder along with generalised anxiety disorder many years ago. I felt that I'd never be happy again. Yes it's taken years but I am more happy and confident than I have been in about 6 years. I took it step by step, I still have bad days/weeks. But honestly hun, you do learn to deal with it. Anxiety and depression is always going to be a part of my life ....its how I deal with it that matters

[Deleted Member]

This is a very personal subject to me as I have gone through a lifetime of mental illness. I won't go into too much detail but I'm a survivor of many horrible things starting in early childhood. Some of which I didn't know the truth about until just a few years ago.
I can say that I've reached a point where I am happy and at peace in general. It does take a lot of dogged persistence.
Here are some things I've considered essential in no particular order: psychotherapy, psychiatry, being properly medicated [no stigma, a diabetic takes their medication], 12 step, practicing mediation, self care, learning to treat my whole being as a patient I cared for, exercise, letting go of toxic people, and yes...time.
The only way out is through, they say. Day to day it can be very hard. Decades ago I had a sponsor in a 12 step group that told me, "Sometimes we feel like we're stuck in Jello and we can't move. But we can lean into it and we move little by little. Later, we realize we're out."
When we've been dealing with mental anguish for so long we don't realize we've BEEN strong all the time. We're not weak because we're tired. It just means we need to rest.

[Deleted Member]

The darkness ends, it will always end just as the night will always brighten into day again. Some days are shorter and darker, but they will come.
I was diagnosed and put on antidepressants at 15, my journey is still rocky but one of the most helpful things I've learnt is to say is its ok.. and truly believe it.
It's OK to be tired.
What we fight on a day to day basis... its exhausting.
You arent weak, you are tired and that is ok, it is ok to rest.

Catch your breath between waves. When the tide goes out take the opportunity to recuperate.

[Deleted Member]

On 3/21/2021 at 5:08 AM, Aranhis said:

When the waves are too strong and you feel they will break you and sweep you away before long, remember the reed. Tall, soft, and gentle, no matter how violent the storm or how strong the current, it bends, and remains.

 

Don't try to stop the waves. Let them run around you, because they don't matter and can only reflect back at you the energy you give them - the reed knows this, and that is why it doesn't fight. All that does matter is you.

Sorry for my delayed response to your support. But you know I appreciate your kindness. I sometimes worry I bend too much. It is like the analogy of becoming the shape of water. I don’t want to fit, I don’t want to bend. I want to fly. Maybe one day... but thank you 😊 

[Deleted Member]

On 3/21/2021 at 8:35 AM, TAROTT said:

Your mind needs to press the brakes Raven as I said you are not alone

Yeah there are no brakes, that’s a recurring nightmare I used to have actually. The weekends are probably harder. Too much time with myself! Work keeps me busy and tired. Thank you for offering support in the depths of my dark. That’s a brave thing to do ☺️

[Deleted Member]

On 3/21/2021 at 9:58 AM, SPANK135 said:

Aww Raven. It does get better, honestly. I was diagnosed with repetitive depression disorder along with generalised anxiety disorder many years ago. I felt that I'd never be happy again. Yes it's taken years but I am more happy and confident than I have been in about 6 years. I took it step by step, I still have bad days/weeks. But honestly hun, you do learn to deal with it. Anxiety and depression is always going to be a part of my life ....its how I deal with it that matters

I guess sometimes my biggest struggle is how the world deals with it in reflection. It just makes me feel so weak. Like I’m a burden, not good enough. And I am doing better, but just when I think I’m getting there, the waves floor me. It has mostly passed for now. I hope I learn to accept like you have. Sorry for the delayed response and thank you for your support ☺️

[Deleted Member]

On 3/21/2021 at 7:07 PM, BroodyJudy said:

This is a very personal subject to me as I have gone through a lifetime of mental illness. I won't go into too much detail but I'm a survivor of many horrible things starting in early childhood. Some of which I didn't know the truth about until just a few years ago.
I can say that I've reached a point where I am happy and at peace in general. It does take a lot of dogged persistence.
Here are some things I've considered essential in no particular order: psychotherapy, psychiatry, being properly medicated [no stigma, a diabetic takes their medication], 12 step, practicing mediation, self care, learning to treat my whole being as a patient I cared for, exercise, letting go of toxic people, and yes...time.
The only way out is through, they say. Day to day it can be very hard. Decades ago I had a sponsor in a 12 step group that told me, "Sometimes we feel like we're stuck in Jello and we can't move. But we can lean into it and we move little by little. Later, we realize we're out."
When we've been dealing with mental anguish for so long we don't realize we've BEEN strong all the time. We're not weak because we're tired. It just means we need to rest.
 

Your last point really resonated with a paper i read about depression called the curse of the strong. The idea being that some prone to depression keep on through adversity more than would be typical. They don’t get the, take a break, remove yourself signals, because they are strong and resilient, but that keeping on too much, becomes exhausting.

im working on self care. Medication I have a funny relationship with. Removing toxic people. Getting there.

 

Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences and offer support. Kindness and the patience of others could heal the world ☺️

[Deleted Member]

On 3/22/2021 at 12:25 AM, DonnAndAine said:

The darkness ends, it will always end just as the night will always brighten into day again. Some days are shorter and darker, but they will come.
I was diagnosed and put on antidepressants at 15, my journey is still rocky but one of the most helpful things I've learnt is to say is its ok.. and truly believe it.
It's OK to be tired.
What we fight on a day to day basis... its exhausting.
You arent weak, you are tired and that is ok, it is ok to rest.

Catch your breath between waves. When the tide goes out take the opportunity to recuperate.

Thank you, the waves are subsiding a little and I’m trying to catch my breath. I didn’t see the last one coming. I have written a lot of poems about light and dark. I will have to dig them out. Sorry for the delayed response. I do appreciate the time you took to show kindness and support. So wanted to wait till I felt a little better to respond. 

[Deleted Member]

Good to hear that you’re feeling a little better and yes you are right about being strong as we are constantly fighting demons and yes it’s exhausting and  still we keep on keeping on . 🌹🖤🙏

[Ar****]

2 hours ago, RestlessRaven said:

Sorry for my delayed response to your support. But you know I appreciate your kindness. I sometimes worry I bend too much. It is like the analogy of becoming the shape of water. I don’t want to fit, I don’t want to bend. I want to fly. Maybe one day... but thank you 😊 

I do know 🤗

 

You never need apologise for taking time out when you aren't in the best place. You'll fly one day, I do believe it.

[Deleted Member]

On 3/21/2021 at 9:58 AM, SPANK135 said:

Aww Raven. It does get better, honestly. I was diagnosed with repetitive depression disorder along with generalised anxiety disorder many years ago. I felt that I'd never be happy again. Yes it's taken years but I am more happy and confident than I have been in about 6 years. I took it step by step, I still have bad days/weeks. But honestly hun, you do learn to deal with it. Anxiety and depression is always going to be a part of my life ....its how I deal with it that matters

🤗🤗   ❤💙💜 ((((((hugs))))))

[SparkySparks]

I really wish I had an easy fix for you , but I'm in a similar mindset and if there was a perfect solution, I would have done it.

 

Honestly the things that seemed to help me are kind of embarrassing and may not even help in a healthy way, but mainly it was learning to deal with my loneliness on my own. That was a massive part of my depression and feelings of hopelessness. 

 

As for environmental pressures, I just allow myself to accept what I can't control. I kind of retreat into my own mind when things get too difficult, sometimes to the point of believing that whatever is happening just isn't real, that this is all just a very long dream that I'll eventually wake up from.

 

I don't really recommend trying that or anything, I guess I'm just sharing my own experience. Thanks for sharing this here, I think it helps sometimes to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Logically I know I'm not the only one, but it dosen't really "feel" like that until I see a post like yours. 

[Deleted Member]

I hope this helps:

Only fruitful trees are cast with stones.

Earth is broken so the plants 🌱 can bloom

You are great and there is greatness within you.

There is Always a day after the night, and a night after the day. It doesn’t matter which one you are in, there will always be light 😜

Remember:

You are bigger than the problems you have. You are much more than mishaps. You are stronger and mightier than defeat. You are a great power. When you tell life try me & not why me, you will see how great you are. Attitude is key to reach your full potential. You got it.

It’s always possible

Surround yourself with positive environment


Run away with your life from nay sayers 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ as far as you can 😂😂😂😂


The opinion of others about you is not your reality.

self-compassion and assertiveness are great skills.

🙏🏻

🙋🏻‍♂️ Ciao