Sub as a Stay-at-Home Parent?

[Deleted Member]

Just a curious thought that's on my mind.

If you were in a romantic bdsm relationship and you planned to have kids, would you consider the sub as a stay-at-home parent, and as apart of the kink?  Does this even sound appealing at all, to you?

It's an interesting thought, and I wanna know what others think about it.

[Deleted Member]

I think the second you start mixing kids with kink you need to stop

[Deleted Member]

I certainly wouldn’t try linking child care with bdsm fantasies and practices. 100 % keep them separate from each other. Bdsm will have to take second place and I don’t know how you can hide it from them as they grow and start asking questions .

[Deleted Member]

I think the only way this might work is in a 1950s type household. Many people into BDSM and power exchanges will undoubtedly have a family home to manage as well. It is doable but not without some realistic adaptations needed. As parents it'll be important to make sure you're giving the little ones a good model of relationships and sex as they get older too.

I think the morality of kink around *** is a pretty obvious answer. Just fucking No! But as parents keeping that power exchange going throughout other parts of your relationship I think IS possible. Not towards the extremes of 24/7, Gorean, or all out latec fetish for example but it is possible.

There's a time and a place for everything and a family home will need a lot of compartmentalisation.

There's great kink podcaster and sex educator called Kayla Lords who is in a DS relationship. She's a kink writer and very much living her filthiest lifestyle. She has a family to manage too like so many of us. She has some great advice around this topic and the ethics and moral boundaries of how you can live a link lifestyle and maintain a family too. I'd recomend giving her a check out.

[so****]

I think it definitely IS doable. I've had subs who were raising kids & though they weren't MY kids, we were still able to make it happen. & Because they weren't my kids, my responsibility was somewhat diminished. It was mostly on her. In our contract, we negotiated child raising as a separate entity entirely. However, if the day comes where I find a long term sub & marry her, any kids we would have would still be raised in a normal way, both our responsibilities being negotiated in contractual agreement. This maintaining our bdsm dynamic 👍 problem solved lol anything is possible if you work hard enough at it & the willpower is strong enough.

[Deleted Member]

Some good replies!  I too thought it was weird to mix kink with child-rearing.  I can see a scenario where someone may be both kinky and a stay-at-home parent, but not necessarily become a stay-at-home parent because of kinks (if that makes sense).  

[Deleted Member]

And for the sake of perspective, it's easy to assume a male-dom with female-sub for all cases, but remember that you can have male-subs in a femdom scenario.  (Not sure if that changes dynamics to change things, though.)

[Deleted Member]

14 hours ago, TAROTT said:

I certainly wouldn’t try linking child care with bdsm fantasies and practices. 100 % keep them separate from each other. Bdsm will have to take second place and I don’t know how you can hide it from them as they grow and start asking questions .

Bit off toppic but - Think in a healthy loving and secure environment and loving parents- depending on the toys or any other play necessities... its life and its their parents and there is nothing crazy or misunderstanding. Its more how you explain if there is a need... unhealthy and emotional pressure for kids to see anything too ***ful so definitely making sure but its a game and hobby and lifestyle of the parents and so what!  In our house a 10 y old found a human face attached toilet sylinder , bit tricky to explain that its for me shitting into your dads mouth ... but as it was nxt to dildo that was forgotten in the bedroom- so yes , its a massive black dildo , so we use it as a door hold and the other thing is just a complicated kitchen appliances that we ordered online but now no idea quite how to used it ... :)  but they know that door is locked its grown up Time and once forgot open, me with a massive strap on , ,my partner being ass fucked with no mercy- but in a nano second er were on yhe bed me on top

and “giving a massage “ to my man 

[Deleted Member]

Ref Fka  I have known families torn apart by social workers for having an argument between mother and daughter.  After reading your post I have to be honest that your attitude to the welfare of the child is frightening! 

[CopperKnob]

29 minutes ago, TAROTT said:

Ref Fka  I have known families torn apart by social workers for having an argument between mother and daughter.  After reading your post I have to be honest that your attitude to the welfare of the child is frightening! 

Not by social workers, by police/family courts 

[Deleted Member]

I think I should have said local authorities rather than social workers. I do apologise. 🙏

[ey****]

I think there's something wrong if someone is staying at home to raise kids as part of a kink

but, if it's part of a dynamic, that's something else

[Leisa]

I think anytime you involve *** into the mix you’re going down a dark path. While I can see you wanting a stay at home Mom you need to not emphasize it as a kink but rather a desire to be a rather controlling partner both of which tend to be frowned upon. After getting out of a 13 year in which I was expected to be a stay at home parent with a very controlling partner my advise would be to be careful of resentment building up. Regardless of what you decide *** should never be involved in your kink. *** are off limits.

[Deleted Member]

Kink/bdsm world and *** talk is like step on a razor blade. 
you need to be specific about what you are asking op as people here might derail and you will step into triggers. 
be impregnated is a kink. Household 1950 is a bdsm lifestyle but don’t include *** in the discussion. 
Ita fair that you ask opinion but careful what you are asking. 
There are plenty of married/partners with family and they will adapt their life around it. Some stop until *** reach the ages of leaving home often enough to indulge back to it. 
but starting a family based of having a kink attached to it ? I hope it’s not what you are asking?? 

[Ropebunny-9495]

You are lost in the Role Play of it. Each of us, consents to the lifestyle, plays along, communicates their wishes. You are acting like you do not care about the sub’s wishes. Role Play that now, Virgo1248 !

[Deleted Member]

Not sure why some of these later comments are hostile.  I already said in a reply earlier that I disagree with having child rearing as part of the kink.