Bunny and Bull ch. 2 (3/5***)

May 11

The next morning when I wake to the early sun and the quiet chirp of birds out the windows at my feet, I nestle into the mattress with a pur of contentment. It was so warm and comfortable. I was grateful that my seasonal work didn't start for another few weeks so that I could just enjoy these peaceful moments. My phone dings on my bedside table and I pull it off the charger and put my glasses on.

Roman: Good morning, bunny.

I smile at my phone with a giggle and open the camera up to take a selfie with a sleepy smile and my messy waves of hair across the red and black flannel sheets. There's a ***k of the thin straps of my pink tank top above the covers. I send it to him before I can overthink it.

Ray: You must be a mind reader, I just woke up! Good morning Roman 😌

Roman: Don't you look cozy… I'd love to be cuddled up to my sweet bunny on a chilly morning like today.

I let out a little moan of appreciation at the thought, covering my eyes with an arm as I daydream about just that.

Ray: That would be so incredible. Add a latte and it sounds like the dream.

The distance between us through the phones makes me bolder, but it's still true. I crawl out of bed to walk downstairs and make coffee as my phone continues to ding in my pocket. As I set a mug under the espresso machine and press the button on it and the milk frother, I check my messages.

Roman: I’ll keep that in mind.
Roman: Any plans today, pretty girl?
Roman: I won't lie to you, I haven't been able to stop looking at your pictures. I can't wait to get to know you better, Ray.

I giggle out loud, he made me feel so girly and cute! And as a self proclaimed independent woman and landscaper… that was not something I usually felt. I liked it a lot.

Ray: Nothing much planned! I work as a landscaper for about 9 months a year, I've still got a few more weeks before they bring me back for spring cleanup.
Ray: I inherited a property recently, so I've been spending all my time outside getting rid of all the mess before everything starts growing. That's probably what I'll end up doing.

Roman: A landscaper! I bet you look so cute all covered in dirt, working so hard. I've never had space for gardening but it's something that I’d love to have at home one day. Cook up delicious meals from all those garden veggies, maybe have a few chickens…
Roman: I work in electrical engineering myself, tends to be a lot of paperwork and inspections.

I type out several iterations of an invitation to come stay and use my garden so that I can cook him delicious meals but I delete them with a ***ed sigh. Cooling off in the creek on a hot day, feeding chickens, picking fruit and preserving things in the fall… my chest feels warm and tight with excitement as I imagine him enjoying those things by my side. He seems to like just regular pictures of me, not even sexy ones so I grin at my gallery as I scroll through to the last summer season and send him a picture of me working in my overalls, cut into shorts with my summer freckles, tank top and big boots. There's dirt all the way to my elbows and all over my bare knees and clothes. The outfit does accentuate my belly and hips in a way that would have embarrassed me before, but now… this was what I looked like. I square my jaw in my resolve. If he didn't like it, that was his problem, not mine.

Ray: Play your cards right and maybe I'll bring you some boxes of fresh veggies after I plant the garden this spring!

Roman: I'll be damned if I fuck up such a delicious opportunity. Bunny, I don't think you know what you do to me. Good thing this is a video conference meeting and not in person.

I do a little dance in front of the coffee maker, pouring the frothed milk into the espresso and taking it into the sun room to sit amongst all the plants I had yet to distribute throughout the house. I sit at the farmhouse table on the matching bench and sip my coffee while I reply. He makes me feel so confident, with the way he talks to me.

Ray: In my dirty overalls?! Maybe that's a kink I don't know about! 😂

Roman: I didn't even realize it was a kink I had until this exact moment. Now I can't stop fantasizing about it.

Oh god, this was getting heated fast. The pressure in my belly didn't mind though, it had been so long since I’d even touched myself. It just hadn't been something I'd thought about in a while, weeks maybe. And I hadn't been with anyone since Dave a year ago. I bite my lip as I look at the screen. He can see from my status that I'm still looking at the message for a long while and then he sends,

Roman: Let me give you just a hint of how excited you make me.

He sends an image through, and in the blurry thumbnail I can tell he's clothed so I click it open. He's taken a picture in the same mirror as last night, only this time he's wearing a white button up and jeans. I'm not sure exactly what he means until I notice his erection tenting his pants. He's got a hand in his pocket but it's still clearly visible there. He smirks to himself in the photo and I go bug eyed over the size of the bulge.

Roman: There's just something about you…

As I'm reading the message, flushed and flustered, a call comes in. It's from Stan, my boss at Greenleaf. I answer it right away, wondering if this is an early call to arms with the warmer weather we’ve had.
“Good morning Stan!”
“Morning Ray! How have you been? Good New Year?”
“Oh yeah, lots of fun. Fireworks and a house warming party at my new place!”
“Right! I guess… my condolences, and also my congratulations.”
I laugh and play with my mug on the table. My “grandmother” a woman who took care of my dad when he was a child and had found out about me much later in my life, passed away almost a year and a half ago now, but I never really knew her. It had just taken a long time to settle the estate.
“Thank you very much! How about you? How are things?”
He pauses for a moment, and an uneasiness fills me.
“Actually, that's what I wanted to call about… I've had some major health complications this winter, and I'm just not sure it's feasible for me to run a crew this spring. I offered to turn the command over to Cathy, but she requested a smaller crew and less jobs for her first time managing. I hate to say this Ray but we won't be able to bring you back this year.”

I stare out the window in shock, that was not what I had expected.
“Oh. God, I'm so sorry Stan, are you alright?”
“Yes yes, I'll be fine. Some heart problems, I'm supposed to take it easy for a while. Anyways I wanted to give you as much notice as possible to find some work, I'm happy to be a reference.”
No doubt I had been first on the chopping block with Cathy at the reins. She was no friend of mine that was certain.
“Of course… I appreciate it, Stan. I hope if you start a bigger crew you'll give me a call.”
“Of course, you're first on my list kiddo. I gotta go, but have a good day alright?”
“Yeah. Alright.”
He hangs up and I continue looking at the lock screen in shock. It buzzes in my hand and Romans name pops up. I unlock it and read his message numbly.

Roman: Anyways! I'd like to plan a date before you start work again. Is there a day that works best for you? Maybe sometime next weekend?

I scoff at the timing of it all.

Ray: Yeah! I won't be working then, I just got a call that I've been let go for the season… better start combing the classifieds.

There's a long pause, I can see he's looking at our message thread but not typing. I put my mug in the sink with a sigh and head back to the bedroom to get dressed. Stomping up the stairs and pulling my gardening clothes on aggressively. There's a ding as I reach the front door dressed in my work gear.

Roman: I'm sorry Ray, that's too bad. I'm sure you'll find something very, very soon. Don't you worry, okay bunny?

Why does his comfort make me feel so sappy? I pout out a lip as emotion swirls in me. I didn't like feeling unsure of my future. I let out a little whine as I thunk my head gently against the doorframe.

Ray: I'll try 🥺 I'm going to go do some work in the yard to blow off some steam.

Roman: Thank you for letting me know, pretty girl. Very considerate of you. I'll check in later and see how you're doing. Be good for me.

Despite my unhappy state, there's a twinge between my thighs at his words. How did he do that?

Ray: Okay 🥹

I spend hours digging out old plants from the beds and composting all the debris, skimming the pond and checking for leaks. When I finally check my phone there's a few messages. it's already 3pm, how did that happen?! He sent the message at noon.

Roman: How's my pretty bunny?

My heart stops as I see a voice memo afterwards, sent just a few minutes ago. I turn up my volume and press play as I walk back towards the house.

Roman: Hi Ray…

Oh god his voice sounds almost as good as he looks, deep and with a slight growl that makes my skin tingle when I hear my name.

Roman: I think you might be feeling a little overwhelmed, and you're trying to tire yourself out in the garden so you don't have to think, aren’t you?

That was exactly what I've been doing.

Roman: I know it's easy for nearly a stranger to say so, but I promise everything is going to be okay. How about I call you tonight? A little phone date, take your mind off things. Say, 8pm?

His voice drops an octave and I let out a little squeak when I hear his next words.

Roman: I’d love to comfort you, and tire you out in other ways… but for now this will have to do.

I walk inside and shuck off my dirty clothes to head towards the bathroom, leaving them by the door to shake out the mud and dirt later.

Ray: That sounds nice… sorry for the late reply… you were right I lost track of time in the garden.

He looks at the message instantly.

Roman: I thought as much.
Roman: Make sure you set the mood for me tonight… pretend like I'm there taking care of you, okay?
Roman: Your favourite clothes, favourite drink, warm cozy fire… whatever makes you the most happy. Can you do that for me, bunny?

Ray: Absolutely. ☺️

I try not to let my heart race thinking about actually calling and speaking to this man. It was a lot easier and safer to type than it was to talk. After a hot shower I sit down to start researching work. It's right around the time landscapers will be hiring for crews, but as long as I'm looking I might as well see what else is out there.

It's pretty slim pickings, I select a few ads and save them and begin updating my resume on my laptop in the living room. When my stomach grumbles, I light the fire and make my way to the kitchen. I think of Roman as I stand in front of the fridge. Whatever makes you the most happy. What I really wanted right now was a series of incredible orgasms and a joint, but I'd settle for a pizza from the leftover homemade pizza dough still in the fridge and some miscellaneous ingredients.

And then another ding on my phone! Maybe Roman? I check it hopefully and my face falls. It's a notification of a memory from this day, one year ago. Seeing just the tiny thumbnail of the screenshots, I bite a quivering lip and swallow back a wave of nausea.

I sink down onto my elbows on the counter beside my half made pizza, tears welling in my eyes. My counselor had insisted it was good, cathartic to cry and to release the emotion instead of bottling it up but typically that wasn't easy for me. It is now though, the tears pour down as I sniffle and finish my pizza and put the ingredients away in the fridge, grabbing a bottle of wine.

As I sink onto a stool at the kitchen island, my fingers fidget near my phone. I cross and uncross my arms, pick up my wine glass, sip it, set it back down. With an agitated growl I snatch the phone off the counter and open the notification, click download, and read through the *** all over again.

By the time the pizza is done, cooked and cut, I'm finishing my second glass and pouring the rest of the bottle into the cup, tears pouring down my face while I sob bitterly. I wrap myself up on the couch and turn on a movie Gwen had recommended. It was based on a dark romance novel she'd read. I eat my pizza and cry for a long while.

I had to stop the waterworks before Roman called, it would be so embarrassing to admit how sad I was. Maybe I should just cancel… I consider this while a man watches a woman through the window of her apartment. I look at my own bare windows with a shiver. The cabin wasn't far from town, but the house was in the centre of about 5 acres of semi forested property. Regardless of the seclusion, I did need to buy curtains. Just so I didn't feel so damn creeped out every time I watched a scary movie. Who knew what was out there? I glance at the door to make sure it's locked nervously.

Would Roman be upset if I cancelled? He was a… a Dom. Dave had wanted me to give him rules, be strict with him and even punish him when he didn't listen, had enjoyed that dynamic. If he had cancelled on me… he definitely would have expected me to do something about that. I hum and haw as the movie gets fairly spicy, slightly drowning out my sorrow. The tension is building with the woman's knowledge of her possessive shadow. It's kind of sexy, in a taboo way.

Just as there's a tense moment, where the woman is hiding behind a desk while the man stands on the other side… I wait for the jump scare and my phone dings, my heart leaping into my throat as the slam onto the desktop comes just seconds later.

Roman: Just checking in, Ray. I'm wrapping up for the night, going to put on something comfortable and then give you a call.

Fuck… it would be easier to explain by text, maybe less embarrassing. I doubt I'd be able to hide my *** or emotional state from him.

Ray: Thanks for checking in, I still really want to talk to you… I just thought I'd warn you that I got really upset earlier and had a few glasses of wine, I promise I won't be a total sad sap though.

He reads this… maybe a few times. Enough that I start to sweat a little. No- I wasn't doing that. I let out a deep breath. I needed to be my honest, genuine self. His reaction was his own, and had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him.

Roman: I’m so sorry you're upset, bunny, what happened? Do you want me to call now? I don't mind if you're tipsy… I'll take care of you.

Damn. If that doesn't just send a pulse of need straight to my core and my lip jutting out like a sad child. I pause the movie as the woman screams when the man pulls her from behind the desk.

Ray: Whenever you're ready, I'm going to get some water and put my dishes away.

Roman: Okay, I'll call as soon as I sit down.

I put my dishes away and light a candle before cuddling up on the couch with a glass of water. Soon after the phone rings and Roman’s name pops up on my screen. I answer it without hesitation but my stomach still flips and my palms are a little sweaty.

“Hi Ray.”
Why does it make me blush so hard when he says my name!
“Hi Roman…”
There's a long pause and a deep breath.
“You sound almost as pretty as you look, bunny. Can you say my name again for me?”
Oh god! I hadn't had nearly enough wine for this! I squirm and contort my mouth in a line, willing myself to say it confidently. I manage a teasing tone…
“Hello R-Roman… Thank you for being so understanding.”
“Of course, I’m sorry you're having such a hard day… Do you want to talk about it so you can get it off your mind?”

His voice is a delectable pur, and I hear the rustle of cloth like he's settling into bed.
Not really, mostly I just want you to call me pretty and mine and say sweet things to me, I think to myself with a little sniffle.
“Come on, pretty girl… it would mean so much to me if you trusted me to take care of you…”
Oh… that's nice… I guess it wouldn't hurt would it? If he wanted me to?
“You know those… those stupid phone notifications when the anniversary of a photo you took comes up?”
“Mm hmmm”
“Well, one came up with some screenshots I took last year and it just… I didn't want to think about it anymore and then I hurt my own feelings by reading them again.”
I bite my lip in a frown holding back my emotions.
“Oh, bunny, I'm sorry. You needed me to be there to take it away and delete them?”

My heart jumps into my throat, that was extreme, but it easily would have saved me from hours if not days or weeks of heartbreak.
“I guess so, I shouldn't have read them again. I don't know why I did, I knew what would happen…”
“It's okay. Can you tell me what it was about?”
I inhale sharply and my pulse ratchets. Swallowing several times I reply,
“I don’t-” I let out a little whimper and he clicks his tongue, I hear him shifting.
“I don't want to give him any more power over my feelings. He doesn't matter anymore.”
There's a long silence, a held breath.
“He?”
I flop down on the arm of the couch and curl up into a ball.
“My ex… I don't want to talk about him. I just want to talk about you.”
There's another long silence.
“I'm glad that you want to talk about me, about us… did you get nice and comfy like I asked? Are you drinking your water?”
“Mmm hmmm.”
I mumble in my pile of blankets. He chuckles darkly.
“Try again.”
My pulse thunders at the threat in his voice, stumbling over various other responses in my mind.
“Y-yes.”
“Yes, who?”
“Yes… Roman…”
“That's it. Good girl.”
All thoughts of Dave, and Stan, and anything that isn't directly correlated to me being a good girl go straight out the fucking window as my nipples harden ***fully fast. I suck in a breath and I can hear him smother another chuckle.
“Did you like that, Ray?”
“Yes, Roman.”
“Perfect. I knew you'd be such a good student, bunny.”

My thighs press together at his praise. The wine in my stomach makes me feel warm and tingly, though his voice and words could definitely be a contributing factor.
“Tell me everything you did to make yourself as comfortable as possible. I want to know what my girl likes.”
I sit up a bit to take a sip of water, wetting dry lips.
“I made my favourite homemade pizza from my sourdough recipe. And lit the fire, and some candles… I like the vanilla and earthier smells at night and citrus ones when I'm puttering around the house during the day…”
My words just flow out of me easily, and he listens attentively as if making note of each word no matter how inconsequential.
“and I've got my favourite wool blanket and PJ’s. And water!”
“That all sounds so nice. I wish I was there to enjoy it with you. What kind of pizza do you like?”
“All kinds! I like weird pizzas with funny cheeses and fancy meats or special ones like dill pickle! This one had chicken and pepper, spinach and hot honey.”
“Mmmm yum, and you made your own dough, that's so sweet! I like imagining you baking for me in a little apron.”
I can't suppress a giggle and I can almost hear him smile.
“What about you? Do you have a favourite kind of pizza?”
“I’m a purist. Classic margherita or pepperoni for me. But I bet it would be fun to make personal pizzas and have a movie night, don't you? Cuddle up on the couch…”
“Mmmm hmm, yes, I would like that a lot! I was just watching a movie actually. It would be nice to have company, the house is so quiet.”
“Put me on speakerphone then, bunny. I'll keep you company.”

I do as I'm told, laying back against the couch, feeling flustered and excited.
“That's better isn't it?”
His voice echoes through the space and it does indeed feel a little less lonely.
“Yeah, it’s really nice.”
“Good. What kind of PJ’s do you like, Ray? What makes you feel the most comfortable?”
I hum in contemplation and he laughs out loud.
“Quit that. I know you're trying to think of the sexiest PJ’s you have and I don't care about those. I want to know what you actually like.”
“Well, it's just kind of boring… I just like wearing a-a thong and sweatpants and a cropped sweater, something soft.”
“Mmm, is that what you're wearing right now?”
I fidget on the couch, breath coming a little shorter as my neck and cheeks burn.
“Yes…”
“How cute. I bet you look so pretty all cuddled up… why don't you send me a picture and I'll send you one?”
“Okay… sure…”
I murmur, a little dazed at the idea of seeing him all snuggled up in bed.

I grab my phone and scroll to our messages, seeing him already in the chat box. I snap a quick photo, sticking my tongue out at him playfully and click send. There's shifting movement and a pleased sigh.
“There's my little bunny… look how sweet you are for me.”
An image pings in and I see a lot of flesh tones on the thumbnail. I open it with a gulp.
He's holding the phone above him, smiling and covered in stubble with mischievous light blue eyes. Hair mussed like he's been running his hands through it. He's shirtless, but wearing pajama pants and his chest looks strong and comfortable. The muscular vee of his hips draws my eye where the photo cuts off just at the waist band of his pants.

I must make a noise because I can hear his chuckle.
“Use your words, Ray.”
“You're… very handsome. I’m trying not to let the wine make me say something completely insane.”
“Why thank you, bunny. Like what? Try me…”
I think about what he said this morning, how my pictures affected him…
“N-nothing, just that.”
There's a pause and I bite my lip, not sure what to say. I hear a muffled laugh.

“What movie were you watching, Ray?”
He changes the subject away from my awkwardness.
“Oh! That new one, um… The One That I Want.”
“Am I?”
I giggle and he laughs back.
“I've heard of it. It's quite dark… there's even some CNC in it. Do you know what that is?”
I shake my head but remember he can't see me.
“No! Is that a kink too?”
“That's right… it stands for consensual non consent. Meaning the couple has a pre-agreed upon dynamic that allows them to act out a ***ful scene while staying safe.”

My stomach flips, like the being chased question on KinQ. I see. It did have an appeal, if it was negotiated in advance.
“Are you thinking about it? It sounds kind of fun, doesn't it? Get all dressed up, run around the woods at night… who knows what I'll do to you when I catch you…”
Breath catches audibly in my lungs. I can imagine exactly what he'd do if he caught me.
“If you catch me, you mean.”
He laughs then, a dangerous sound laced with threat.
“Oh no. I meant when.”
His tone is so sweet, so caring but his words are so palpably threatening.
“O-oh!”
I manage to squeak out.
“You didn't answer my question though, Ray.”
“Yes… it does sound like it could be fun with the right person.”
“That's what it's all about, and communication.”
A tight band constricts around my chest at the word. “I’m more of an action movie fan myself, but I'd watch some dark romance with you. Maybe we could re-enact some of your favourite scenes.”

My face flames up again at the thought.
“But, that can wait… at least until after we meet. What do you want our first date to be like bunny? If you could do anything.”
“Hmmm, something quiet and personal so we can talk and get to know one another. Maybe that new Korean place downtown, it has a really nice atmosphere and private booths.”
I must be drunk, because that was way too decisive. Although, something about the way he talked made me feel safe enough to just say whatever it was I was thinking… to an extent.
“Consider it done. What's your favourite colour?”
“Probably pink! Like a soft, warm pastel pink.”
He coos quietly at me.
“How precious! Do you think you'd describe yourself as girly, or is this the exception?”

That was a complicated answer.
“Well, I used to be really against girly things… but then I realized I was just scared to be myself because I didn't think that cute things… suited me.”
He doesn't say anything, letting me open up more.
“I still dress like a tomboy most of the time. Jeans and shirts and flannels. Which is
fine because of my work. But last year… I don't know, everything changed and I wanted to be who I really was, so I started trying to dress the way I wanted to dress. Act the way I wanted to act. And I found out then that pink really was my absolute favourite colour.”
“That's wonderful, I love to hear that you're embracing your femininity. But why don't you wear the things you like now that you've reached this point?”
“I guess I still feel a bit odd in girly clothes. That and replacing an entire lumberjack wardrobe with nice pieces in my size is something that will have to wait until I'm working again.”
“Well we’ll just have to fix that, won't we? I want my pretty girl to dress the way she likes every day. Not just because seeing you in loose girly dresses and skirts is a major plus for me, though it is certainly encouraging.”

I can't help but laugh, shaking my head at him.
“You're so silly, we still haven't met! You don't even know if you'll like me, Roman!”
“I know I will. I can feel it. Like I said Ray… there's just something about you.”
That was so romantic… my stomach flutters at his confidence but I pay him no mind.
“Still!”
“Don't you worry your pretty head. Soon enough you'll be by my side and you'll understand. And then I'll take you on as many dates, in as many pretty dresses as you like.”
We’ll start with one, and go from there! I think to myself gleefully, kicking my feet in excitement.
“Maybe after dinner we could go do something fun, like the bathhouse or dancing!”
He lets out a low groan and has me aching to reach between my legs and feel how wet I am from all his teasing and flirting.
“Both of those things sound like heaven, Ray. How about I pick something and surprise you?”
“I'll need to pack clothes!”
“Not if I bring you some. Clothes I get to pick out for you.”
I don't like this idea… what if they didn't fit nicely? That would be mortifying…
“I can hear all the cogs whirring away in your head, bunny. I'd never make you wear anything that didn't look absolutely perfect on you.”
“But… but you don’t…”
“Let me try, I want to see you in something I pick out.”
I worry my lip and consider the worst possible outcome.
“Okay, Roman.”
“That's my girl. How do you feel, Ray?”

After a brief check in, I answer him.
“I'm okay, definitely more relaxed… excited to talk to you and ready to put my worries aside for the moment.”
He hums in approval and as I roll over my neck aches a bit from laying on the couch. I could probably climb into bed without him noticing. I move to stand on slightly unstable legs.
“That's great, I'm happy to hear that.”
As I stand I realize just how hard that wine has hit me and I sway on the spot for a moment, breathless.

“You sure you're okay, sweetheart?”
“I'm okay, just a bit dizzy when I stood up.”
“Heading to bed?”
“Uhm, yeah! We can still chat though.”
“Good.”
His voice is so deep it's nearly a growl. I shiver as I snuggle up under the sheets.
“I like talking to you, Ray. I can't wait to meet you.”
“I can't wait either! I haven't been on a date in ages, and the last one was horrific.”
He chuckles.
“oh well now you have to tell me the story, what made it so bad?”
I wrinkle my nose at the memory.
“First of all- I told him I was a landscaper and he spent almost an hour telling me about landscaping. All completely incorrect or basic facts. And then when we went to pay he asked if I'd come back to his place and I said no, so he said that in that case I could pay for my half of the meal. I was so angry I poured the rest of my red wine on him, paid the whole bill and blocked him.”
“That's my bunny! You've got some fight in you, I like that. You don't have to worry about any of that anymore.”
Oh my… my body responds immediately to his possessiveness while my brain rails against it. I didn't know anything about him, I shouldn’t let him claim me like that.

“I feel like I don't know anything about you! You live in Kelowna?”
“That's right. Ask anything you like.”
“Do you have family there?”
"I don't have much family I'm afraid. A brother in Toronto, an aunt in Edmonton, that's about it.”
“Oh! We’re the same, then! I have a brother. We grew up in the same home but aren't related. He lives in Vancouver. I don't know the rest of my family, I was in foster care growing up.”
“Foster care… I hope they found you a good home. I know too many who had a rough go in foster.”
I remember my foster mother Irena with a warm joy. She was already an old woman when she took Milo and I in, we had bonded in the youth facility and couldn't be separated. She had passed away four or five years ago now.
“They did! We were lucky. But you have a friend who lives out here?”
“Yes! I do. I’m sure you'll meet him one day, he holds a lot of local fetish parties but is away quite a bit for work.”
Fetish parties! My eyebrows skyrocket. I didn't even know that kind of thing existed outside of movies. Not to mention the fact that he's already inserting me in his life, insinuating he intends to keep me.

“What sort of fetish parties?”
I ask curiously. My hand subconsciously strays down my stomach to fidget with the waistband of my sweatpants as I think about all the things that could be going on in one of those.
“They're quite fun… I bet you'd like them once you got used to the lifestyle. I think you might be too jumpy for that right now. My nervous bunny.”
I frown and cross my arms.
“I’m not nervous!”
I mutter defensively, Roman only replies with a deep laugh.
“I’m not! I just… I have a hard time talking about sexual stuff.”

Oh… there was the *** again. I cover my face with my hands and press my fingers to my eyes to stop the tears, throttling sadness to the best of my ability. I longed for confidence in the bedroom, but I'd never found it. Maybe if I had… but no. It wouldn't have helped.
“It excites you, and you want to try, but you have trouble saying it all out loud? Asking for what you want? Or maybe even… knowing what it is you want?”
I can't reply, or the dam will break and my emotions will win.
“Ray? Did I lose you?”
Fuck… I should hang up. Pretend the call dropped. My heart pounds as I consider my options. This wasn't going to work. He was going to get his hopes up, and then meet me and if things escalated… that would be it. And I'd be alone again. There was no way a man with this kind of connection to the kink community would want to be with someone who could barely say the word cock without blushing like a virgin.

“Bunny, I just want you to listen okay, can you just say yes, that you'll listen for me? Hmm?”
He had been so kind to me, was still trying so hard to be kind. Gentle. I find a deep part of me desperately does not want to disappoint him.
“Yes, Roman.”
“Thank you sweet girl… It’s beyond okay to have a hard time talking about sex. We’re conditioned not to talk about it for our whole lives. It takes a lot of work to break through societal expectations, to develop that confidence.”
That only makes me want to cry harder. It was only going to hurt more, the sweeter he was.
“Did you know… that I like that about you? I like that you're shy about these topics. I like that you're so nervous to tell me how wet I make you.”

It’s like an electric shock straight to my aforementioned wet sex. I shift anxiously, chewing my lip and wiping the tears away.

“I know what your little sounds, your little stutters mean, Ray. You don't have to hide it from me just because we haven't met. I want you to check and see how wet you are for me, bunny. Slide your pretty hand into those sweatpants, and under your panties and touch yourself.”

Heart racing, I lay on my back in the mostly dark room and do as he asks. I'd been aching to already, and it's not like he could see me… it felt safe to try if I didn't have to talk dirty, or tell him what I wanted. I sigh quietly as my fingers touch my wet pussy. I've soaked right through my panties, and I pull them aside to stroke through my lips and circle my clit the way I like, relaxing into the bed.

“Such a good girl. I bet you're just dripping for me, aren’t you?”
My throat tightens. He wanted an answer, it was just a couple words. I could do that.
“Y-yes. Yes, Roman.”
He moans, a gutteral, primal sound. I feel myself pulse in response, and my breath shortens into little pants as my sensitive clit sends waves of pleasure through me.
“That makes me so fucking happy, bunny. Thank you so much for telling me… I'm so proud of you.”
Warmth courses through me and it feels like safety, like comfort.
“If you have a favourite toy… I want you to get it now, okay?”

I look to my nightstand… I had a vibrator, but it was a little noisy. I'm so horny from his words though… I stand and strip and slide into bed, opening the drawer and grabbing the small cylindrical purple vibrator.
“That's it… once you're naked in bed with your toy I want you to tell me, just say “I’m done!” Okay?”
My mouth clenches shut tightly, unwilling to tell him I'd already done so.
“I'm stroking myself, thinking about that beautiful body, Ray.”
Oh god, oh god, oh god!
“I’m d-done.”
His breathing is getting heavier and I can hear the telltale slick sound of lube on skin.
“Good. My sweet little bunny bare and wet for me. Fuck, that makes me wild.”
His excitement was doing wonders for my own, and I turn the vibrator on under the covers, blushing when I can still hear the sound.

He groans and cusses as he hears it as well.
“Fuck, Ray. I wish I was there. I don't want anything but me, on or inside you. I want to taste every last drop of you.”
I can't help but whimper as his words and the gentle vibrations have tension building inside me. My hips move of their own accord, gyrating and pressing against the vibrator. When it hits just the right spot I moan softly.
“There it is… those sweet little sounds I crave. I could cum just hearing that. You're so sexy, Ray… I'm looking at your pictures right now.”
I whine as I imagine him stroking himself looking at me. I like thinking about him looking at me like that. I hear the rhythmic sound of his hand pumping himself and I try to match his rhythm as I caress the toy over my sex.
“Close your eyes, Ray. I want you to imagine it's me between your legs. Touching you, pressing inside you… I can't tell you how badly I want to feel you pulsing around me. My fingers, my tongue, my cock.”
I gasp and moan a little louder, god that was so fucking hot. When I close my eyes I really can imagine him there, pressing his mouth against me, using his tongue to drive me to my peak.
“Keep going, bunny. Don't stop. Does it feel good?”
I'm already so close, I can feel my climax just on the edges of my senses ready to overtake me.
“Yes! It feels s-so good Roman.”
I can hear him growl under his breath.
“Fuck, Ray. That's it bunny, you're doing so well for me, being so brave for me.”

I can't stop my panting, whining breaths now as my hips start to buck off the bed.
“Ah! Ah! Oh god, Roman!”
I can hear his hand moving faster now, hear him hiss and grunt in pleasure at my sounds and it makes me feel more confident.
“Good girl. Such a good fucking girl. I'm so close, bunny. I want you to cum with me.”
That was not going to be a problem.
“I need you to be really brave for me and tell me when you're cumming okay?”
His words are stuttered and breathy as he pumps himself furiously. I fuss and moan as I keep climbing, higher and higher until finally…
“Aah! Roman! Oh god right there, it's so good! I can't s-stop, I'm going to c-cum!”
I cry pitifully as my orgasm washes over me, making my toes curl and my muscles jump with each pulsing wave of it.
“Oh fuck me, bunny! Fuck!”
He lets out a real roar, loud and primal and just as I thought my orgasm had run it's course my vision darkens as it hits me even harder.
“Roman!”
I wail his name as I shatter and quiver, wrenching the vibrator away from my hypersensitive flesh. I lay panting and soaked against my sheets, mewling with each pulse of my pussy as my pleasure slowly dies down.

“Bunny… my bunny…”
He pants out, heaving breaths and growling as his own pleasure shakes him.
“You're so perfect for me. I love the sounds you make, your precious little moans, the way you say my name. I came so hard for you.”
My mind is slowly coming back to me and I realize what I've just done with horror. I hadn't even met him! Oh god what have I done?! How could I ever look him in the eye?!
“My sweet girl, I can hear you panicking from here. Take some deep breaths for me.”
My heaving chest slows slightly as I try to take long, slow breaths.
“That's good, just like that. Can you tell me what's making you panic or is that too hard?”
“I've never- never been…never been”
He only hums gently, quietly. Encouraging me while not giving me empty air.
“Intimate with someone so fast. I don’t kn-know what to do!”
He lets out a held breath, as if relieved.
“That's okay, Ray. I don't need you to know what to do. I know exactly what you need, and I'm going to show you that.”
He pauses and listens to my calmer, more rhythmic breathing for a moment.
“Right now, my girl needs some water and to clean herself up. Then you're going to climb into bed and send me a picture of your pretty self so I can dream about those pink cheeks again, okay?”
My mind likes lists, likes knowing what steps to take to make sure something was done properly. His words soothe this part of me in a way that overrides my anxiety and my shoulders relax.
“Then we’re gonna spend the next few days just getting to know each other… maybe playing a little bit if you had fun tonight and on Friday night, if you're free, I'll take you on our date.”
My insecurities from earlier pop up again, and I fight to banish them. He said he liked it, and I wanted so badly to believe him. I remind myself of my counselor's encouragement to trust again.
“Okay, Roman.”
I try to keep my voice firm but it still waivers a tiny bit.
“That's my bunny. I'm just going to clean up this mess I've made and I'll shoot you a message.”

I say goodbye, and we disconnect the call. I stare at the ceiling for a long minute before standing and retrieving my water from downstairs and cleaning myself up in the bathroom. When I slide into bed in a tank top and fresh panties there's a lump stuck in my throat and a tightness around my eyes. The silence is too much. Loneliness itches at my skin and my feet move restlessly beneath the blankets as I fuss and huff in discomfort.

Roman wouldn't like it if I felt like this, I find myself thinking. Maybe he knew what I needed in this way as well. I take a selfie, and I am indeed very pink in the cheeks. It's only a few seconds and then Roman responds.
Roman: Hey beautiful. Thank you so much for all your attention tonight.

Ray; Hi ☺️ I think maybe I should be the one thanking you!
Ray: This is going to sound really silly.
I swallow hard. My independence fighting with my emotional state.
Ray: I'm just feeling really lonely. I know we just talked though…
Roman: it's not silly, why don't we video call until you fall asleep, bunny? You don't have to say anything at all if you don't want to. Just lay your pretty head down and know I'm here, listen to my breathing.
I pout and swallow hard.
Ray: Yes please, Roman

The phone buzzes in my hand and I connect the video call. He looks as handsome as ever, a dazed, pleased smile on his face.
“I'm sorry Ray, I should be there right now to hold you, tell you how perfect and beautiful you are. It wasn't fair of me to make you cum and then not be there for you like you need me.”
I'm horrified to find tears well in my eyes and I dash them away hurriedly. He still sees, of course. His face falls instantly and he looks nearly desperate. He's quiet for a long moment, jaw tense.
“My poor bunny, If you send me your address I can be there in a couple hours, sweetheart. I feel terrible.”
This just makes me cry more, of course. Why did he always know exactly what to say!? I try to regain my composure so I can tell him I'm alright. He looks ***ed as he waits for me.
“I’m okay… I don't usually cry like this, I’m sorry! It's not your fault.”
He's shaking his head, small sad smile on his lips.
“It’s always okay to cry when you're with me, Ray, but I would prefer I not make you cry before I can comfort you.”
I sniffle and push my palms into my eyes taking ragged deep breaths until they stop, and my breathing slows. The whole time I can hear him, quietly praising me, his voice filling the room. When I close my eyes I can imagine him rubbing my back or holding me to his chest and it calms me.
“Shhhh… you're okay bunny, get it all out… I'm here… I'm not going anywhere my sweet girl… shhh shsh…”

When I'm finally dry eyed and curled up into my pillow, watching Roman’s smiling face once more on the phone screen as he sets his phone up beside his bed and crawls into it. We lay, mirrored looking at each other.
“Is that better sweetheart?”
I nod at him sleepily, smothering a yawn. He chuckles in reply and the sounds ghosts over my skin causing goosebumps in a pleasant way.
“I'm so glad… do you have a little light you can leave on so I can see your pretty face while you're sleeping, bunny? I would love to wake up and see you…”
I reach over and turn on the large salt lamp beside my bed, bought more for its warm pink glow than any suggested effects, and click a button to turn off the rest of the strip lights around the perimeter of the room I had set up.
“That's perfect.”
He turns his lamp down to the lowest setting, and it just illuminates his stubbled face and lidded eyes.
“Thank you, Roman. It means a lot to me…”
His face melts into a soppy romantic grin in the dim light.
“Aw, Ray. You're so very welcome. I can't wait to take care of you properly. Sleep, okay sweetheart?”
I nestle into my pillows with a sigh, setting my glasses on the nightstand and ***king one eye open to see him watching me with the same smile. He wags a finger at me and I giggle and sniff away the last of my sadness, closing my eyes.
“Goodnight my sweet girl.”
“Goodnight Roman…”
I'm asleep in minutes.