Beginner question:

[Mr****]

2 hours ago, maya_17 said:

Interesting

I agree with Matchbox21 and would even go as far as to say most vanilla sex is actually kinky. To the point of your question it has just been normalized. Spanking, hair pulling, choking, running your nails on the inside of someone's thighs, dirty talk, you name it and it's probably kinky not vanilla. Vanilla sex refers to the bastardized version of sex taught in the west where historically women weren't viewed as sexual beings. Women weren't educated on sex and men pretty much understood sex to be using your wife to masterbate. The woman laid down the man gave a few pumps and the deed was done.

[ey****]

a lot of vanilla now uses flavouring rather than the vanilla extract so isn't technically vanilla. 

[ey****]

but otherwise...

it depends on what you yourself consider vanilla.   Like, there's a few suggestions in this thread which are definitely kinky... but I have no idea who would consider them to be vanilla...?

With hetero couples - vanilla would typically be PIV though this would include foreplay - foreplay could be varied but could include touching, kissing, oral, etc.  possibly light biting or light scratching through sensation rather than ***, etc.

There are some ideas maybe a little more mainstream now, but I'd have stuff like choking, hair pulling, anal (excluding when m/m) 'Daddy', etc as kinks. 

[Wi****]

Lol everything is kinky if you really think about it.
I mean, look at where the term vanilla originated.

The missionary position is c considered vanilla, unless it's done on the back of a flatbed truck, in broad daylight, in front of City Hall

So what actually makes something vanilla or kinky, is basically a matter of opinion.

[Mr****]

I could be cheeky and suggest the very *thought* of a woman's pleasure being considered during sex 🙄 but, that thing that happens where one pulls out, then goes back in, and repeats this for a while? That's the first real kink one can do in standard PIV sex (the second is pressing deeper in if one has sufficient length, or stretching toward the perineum / pudendal nerve if one has sufficient girth).

The "ribbed for her pleasure" variants include controlled equivalents would be "throwing it back" in doggystyle, the whole gamut of cowgirl positions, and kegels during intercourse.

In short: basically having the mindset to think about anything besides cumming during sex (which is actually really optimistic!).

[Xx****]

I'm not vanilla im white chocolate

[Ri****]

Context is key

[Deleted Member]

I'd say vanilla is anything outside actual BDSM.... Meaning, . anal, and even choking and slapping outside the actual submissive form are still vanilla .... If you're an overall sub and enjoy being ***d and slapped,. Not vanilla .... Not because of the specific acts but more the overall things associated with them

[Babygirl85]

Normal, no frils sex

[Ja****]

I think people associate vanilla with boring and it’s not it’s just more like the basics before you find out who you are in a sexual relationship.

[D-fantasyUwant]

Basic boring not very sexual active person but reason could be not experienced much or had a good sex partner to turn them out

[D-fantasyUwant]

Basically a missionary only person lol

[Ja****]

What he said

[Do****]

Everything done in a more extreme way. A blowjob is vanilla. Face fucking is kinky.

[Deleted Member]

French Vanilla

[To****]

spanking

[so****]

I was told by a former partner that it's weird I want to go down on her longer than the couple minutes she took to climax.

[Cinnamontoast74]

Normal, basic sex

[Bo****]

Kissing with tounge

[ty****]

Making sure she has had as many orgasms as she can handle before thinking about me

[Ke****]

Does anyone really meet up on here? Starting to think that it's me keeping us from getting connections. Because of my age and size I'm new to this and think that I'm why it's not going well.

[to****]

I consider bondeage and discipline vanilla I enjoy having it done to me

[MistressWhipplash]

Him kissing my hand.

[hu****]

3 hours ago, MistressWhipplash said:

Him kissing my hand.

I do actually love this and kissing fingertips/licking and sucking, specially if I’ve just 💦 all over them!

[Deleted Member]

Analingus