Insulting and hateful messages.

[na****]

I support you Jennifer.

It’s probably considered normal for apps like these where creeps crawl out of the woodwork.

I’m sorry this happened to you, it’s pathetic and some people need to learn their place 😂👏🏽

[kree90]

23 hours ago, JenniferTP said:

So. 

Tonight i was chatting away in The Lobby as i normally do and i get a private mail. (From someone who was not in there).

 

This guy is a 48yr old from the U.K. (which is all il mention about him). He messaged me this:

 

WHAT A TOTAL FUCK UP YOU ARE 🤣😂🤣A TOTAL FUKIN JOKE

 

..............................................................................

 

Now, context?

There isn't any. I have never seen or spoke to this man in my life. He sent me this entirely out of the blue. I am a regular in that Lobby and hes never been in there before. He doesn't know me or my mannerisms to make that comment on who i am as a person. He blocked me right away so i couldn't challenge him on his remark. 

 

I have flagged the profile to Support.

 

Does anyone else get messages like this? Full of hate or insults for no apparent reason?

I am by no means perfect and i know many will probably be smirking at this comment, but what do you have to feel and do in life to go around insulting members for no apparent reason? Is this normal behaviour? 

 

I am absolutely flabberghasted and ashamed that a man of this age would behave in this way, but it is also hurtful that he would aim towards me. 

Why can't people just be kind to one another or say nothing at all if they don't have kind words in their mouth? This is supposed to be a kind and accepting community and people like this man are what is wrong in the world. 

What else can be done besides a block? Such a shame...

<3 you are an amazing person and I'm glad to call you my friend. 

[Britguy_69]

Truthfully, someone who feels they need to send messages like that is the "total fuck up".

The guy obviously feels like being nasty to others is the only way he can validate his own existence. I pity trolls like that, try not to let it get to you too much & hopefully if you report him, the site can get rid.

[zeus-1004]

I support  you Jennifer, i am sorry this happened to you

[ol****]

14 hours ago, JenniferTP said:

You are correct about the lurking. But his profile would show on members list if he is in the room, it isnt hidden. This is how i am sure hes never interacted or been in there at the same time as i have. 

but yes, very unacceptable! 

I am able to preview chat and see who is in there?

I trust the mods are taking some action?

[Phoenyx]

I am really sorry to hear about this.  Three possible scenarios come to mind---none of which excuse such behavior:

1)  The message was not intended for you.  The troll simply got the wrong profile.  There may be another member (with whom he interacted) with a similar name, or a similar-looking profile pic.  Still, no excuse for this.

2)  A person with whom you interacted on another list, or possibly IRL?  This would seem the least likely, as it would involve a serious stalker.  That stalker would need to know that you are on this list, what profile name you would be using, and/or the area in which you live.  However, if this scenario does bring someone to mind, it might be best to report this to the police.

3)  A "sniper" from another list.  From the testimonies that I have read here, it sounds like some person (or persons) is randomly targeting folks, with the intent of causing discord, distrust, and turmoil.  Such actions would not be targeted at any individual---but rather, at the list itself.  It could very-well be a saboteur from a rival fetish list, or a former member of this list, who got kicked-off, and is now seeking revenge.  The Mods and the operators of this list may need to look into this.

[Deleted Member]

It sickens and depresses me to hear stories like this. I feel for all women suffering this verbal ***. All you can do really is throw it away like rotten food that you forget you had, and never thought of again. Please remember that most people are good and decent human beings. 

[Deleted Member]

First of all, I’m sorry this happened to you. He sounds like a first class wanker and I’d appreciate a pm with his username so I can block him. There’s genuinely no need and no excuse for people like him at all. I hope you’re ok ❤️

[Rajdom]

I've been insulted by people who think they know me never even met me! let alone spoken to me on the phone!!! from here, There are some on here that take for granted that because of someone else suddenly they know me  they have no idea what I'm like. judgemental people and insults should be kept to themselves  and there opinions! "Karma is a bitch" and she takes no prisoners when it comes to dishing it out!  Sorry that happened to you 🙏😘

[Bimatic]

On 7/5/2021 at 3:25 PM, Cheekysub247 said:

I get messages, similar, no previous contact that i know of. Some are just a load of gibberish, some go into great detail on how i should be ***d and killed because its what i deserve!
Who knows why these people do this stuff, general trolls maybe, sick fantasies, just sick in the head.

I think some actually think this is how all subs want to be treated. That is how a dom should act. Don't seem to realise it's not about abusing women, it's about pleasing them (us doms are really just puppets or it'd be assault 🤫). I presume you are supposed to read it and think "wow, he is so forward and confident, he will be able to control me like the good little slut I am. I'm so lucky he picked me!" 🤦🏻‍♂️😂

[Deleted Member]

OP, you have my sincerest sympathy.

However several people on here suggesting it is to do with our particular community attracting them? I disagree.

In my experience forums, chat sites and even blogs are full of disgusting, brainless numpties whether it be forums about restoring classic Land Rovers, RC cars or warhammer. I honestly don't think this site is any more prone than other non fetish sites.

I had to close my blog about restoring old Land Rovers due to the horrible, obnoxious and even threatening posts I got. So believe me, the internet is an amazing thing but sadly for every 99 normal people using it, you get 1 complete and utter tosser, regardless of the type of site.

It is a shame and I do try and ignore the trolls but it gets hard and wears you down over time. I'm not sure what the solution is though, banning people just doesn't work as they re-join under a new email and continue their poor behaviour.

 

 

 

 

[Je****]

On 7/6/2021 at 11:46 AM, oldfellow said:

I am able to preview chat and see who is in there?

I trust the mods are taking some action?

yes chat can be previewed. I am certain this person has never joined the chat to lurk or otherwise as i use web version and the side of my screen shows me constant who enters/leaves the chat room. 

I did report the guy so i hope something was done. I dont think il ever know.

[Je****]

On 7/6/2021 at 4:16 PM, Phoenyx said:

I am really sorry to hear about this.  Three possible scenarios come to mind---none of which excuse such behavior:

1)  The message was not intended for you.  The troll simply got the wrong profile.  There may be another member (with whom he interacted) with a similar name, or a similar-looking profile pic.  Still, no excuse for this.

2)  A person with whom you interacted on another list, or possibly IRL?  This would seem the least likely, as it would involve a serious stalker.  That stalker would need to know that you are on this list, what profile name you would be using, and/or the area in which you live.  However, if this scenario does bring someone to mind, it might be best to report this to the police.

3)  A "sniper" from another list.  From the testimonies that I have read here, it sounds like some person (or persons) is randomly targeting folks, with the intent of causing discord, distrust, and turmoil.  Such actions would not be targeted at any individual---but rather, at the list itself.  It could very-well be a saboteur from a rival fetish list, or a former member of this list, who got kicked-off, and is now seeking revenge.  The Mods and the operators of this list may need to look into this.

I dont know if it was intended for me. But it was so weird how his only message was to insult and block. Leading me to suspect that he is a bit of a troll. Just for reactions. I have no idea and no way to be certain but hes also not anyone i would have ever interacted with in Real Life and i guess the rival site will be as good a guess as any but it wouldnt explain why he would have a paid membership (star next to name), seemingly trying to date others but go out of his way to insult someone hes never spoke to before. 

I pity him. I just hope people can maybe read back to this post IF it ever happens to them and see its not personal, and some people just like to get their kicks off in different ways i guess. 

[Je****]

1 hour ago, LovingSub999 said:

OP, you have my sincerest sympathy.

However several people on here suggesting it is to do with our particular community attracting them? I disagree.

In my experience forums, chat sites and even blogs are full of disgusting, brainless numpties whether it be forums about restoring classic Land Rovers, RC cars or warhammer. I honestly don't think this site is any more prone than other non fetish sites.

I had to close my blog about restoring old Land Rovers due to the horrible, obnoxious and even threatening posts I got. So believe me, the internet is an amazing thing but sadly for every 99 normal people using it, you get 1 complete and utter tosser, regardless of the type of site.

It is a shame and I do try and ignore the trolls but it gets hard and wears you down over time. I'm not sure what the solution is though, banning people just doesn't work as they re-join under a new email and continue their poor behaviour.

 

 

 

 

Very good point. This kind of thing comes with any territory, however a part of me does think and feel at times some people feel more at easse behaving this way cus thats their kink... possibly insulting people and tryin to degrade/humiliate? If i challenged that god knows what id be labelled as. 

On the other side it can just be some twat behind a keyboard trying to make himself feel better. Regardless it does happen everywhere sadly. 

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, JenniferTP said:

Very good point. This kind of thing comes with any territory, however a part of me does think and feel at times some people feel more at easse behaving this way cus thats their kink... possibly insulting people and tryin to degrade/humiliate? If i challenged that god knows what id be labelled as. 

On the other side it can just be some twat behind a keyboard trying to make himself feel better. Regardless it does happen everywhere sadly. 

Yee, @JenniferTP agreed. I am not kidding when I say I've even had truly awful abusive messages on an relatively innocuous radio controlled car forum. 

 

We are all different and have different views on life, different political beliefs and different levels of kink etc but I have always believed in talking politely and debating issues with respect to others opinions. I can sometime come across as brutally open, honest or argumentative depending on the person I'm talking too BUT sending a one liner abusive message as OP had is IMHO awful. There is no excuse for that. OK, if you have known somebody for ages then a one liner may be acceptable as each party understands where the other is coming from but strangers need higher levels of politeness and political decorum.

 

Sadly it is a sign of the times, especially but not confined too, the younger twitter generation. Seemingly incapable of reading and analysing a sentance of more than three or four words it is all too easy for them to reply with nasty or abusive comments. 

 

I think we just have to accept that on a fetish site we will invariably get people who are vanilla trolls and will give ***. My guess is many are frustrated single men who have never had a truly enlightened kink lifestyle and are just jealous. Most probably never had sex with a real person, when their hands get tired they resort to trolling........ 😉😁

 

 

 

[Phoenyx]

16 hours ago, JenniferTP said:

I dont know if it was intended for me.

Seeing that he has a paid membership, I really think that the message wasn't intended for you.  If I had to guess, I would say that someone blew him off in one of the chat rooms.  He went searching for that person in the profiles, and got your profile by mistake.

@LovingSub999made a good point, about "many are frustrated single men who have never had a truly enlightened kink lifestyle and are just jealous."  In another thread, I talked about how many, who are new to "The Scene", tend to feel frustrated and left-out---because they do not yet understand of the dynamic.  They do not see the behind-the-scenes interactions, that establish rapport over time.  Hook-ups (on the surface) appear almost random and immediate.  Hence, the false sense of being "left out".  This misunderstanding of the dynamic can become quite emotionally ***ful.  Most likely, this person was lashing-out from the ***.  Still, this is no excuse for his behavior.

[TiberiusSicae]

On 7/5/2021 at 3:22 PM, JenniferTP said:

Haha, thank you Pete. Many would disagree cus im gobby, but i do try my best. Id never intentionally want to upset anyone. Fun banter and learning is paramount!! 

I agree that people like that are idiots. 

You sent me to the corner in the lobby!  And I absolutely love the banter we all have in there.  It's an amazing group of people and one of the reasons I'm here.

I too get the odd messages that are shit but I must also add I've had a few recently asking for advice too and they've been really nice.

I do think that this is indicative of being in the top 100 - when my rank started to go up so did the amount of shitty comments.  I've not had anything like this and tbh I'm really upset that someone can do this to another kinkster - we have the world's stigma to face at times and really don't need this from anyone within our precious community.

 

Luvs ya Jen.  Hope you're okay and that the reporting sorts it.

[Je****]

2 hours ago, TiberiusSicae said:

You sent me to the corner in the lobby!  And I absolutely love the banter we all have in there.  It's an amazing group of people and one of the reasons I'm here.

I too get the odd messages that are shit but I must also add I've had a few recently asking for advice too and they've been really nice.

I do think that this is indicative of being in the top 100 - when my rank started to go up so did the amount of shitty comments.  I've not had anything like this and tbh I'm really upset that someone can do this to another kinkster - we have the world's stigma to face at times and really don't need this from anyone within our precious community.

 

Luvs ya Jen.  Hope you're okay and that the reporting sorts it.

Haha, the corner is not always a bad thing!! Naughty people belong there  

 

but yes i get some odd messages, i never ever did hear anything back about this guy tho. but i hope he is proud of himself regardless. Il always do my best to make sure *I* never treat anyone remotely like that ever.

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Seems that in my experience this website and most others online generally that the majority portion of messages that end up in our inboX are not actually intended for us or are about us and are just chancers attention-whores potential-***rs and general crap which needs binning!! But because of this being specialist site it gets more specific types of predators/attackers/entitled types guess they think it's actually an undercover site/free slave-list or some such imagine?!? 💀🔥💀 So after all that trash has got binned/deleted what's left?!? Trying to create conneXtions with peeps we do know of who are okay and we can learn from but the more one gets others off-centre shit time-wasters half-assed guys ect the more harder it gets to *focus *retain ones identity and have *self-confidence so that when decent folks do show we aren't just shut down completely💀🥶💀 there's more chance of the better members leaving and more predators filling in the gaps so it gets more tricky!! The internet just reflects back societal attitudes that are already there so while I'm far from an expert my instincts tell me that most ignorant folks seem to think BDSM type lifestyle is a form of REAL-LIFE real-time non-consent human slavery(s) just a form of unpaid prostitution(s) or just a perfect cover for that type of behaviour(s) *** & control and not in the kinky conteXt just forcing shit 💀🙈💀 wanting peeps they can *** on a plate because a Profile states a Fetish interest peeps read into what's on there generally to be aimed at them) which is all against the human rights convention ffs where as a potential Domme I'm super-wary Don't want anything to do with making this world more shit!! I'd rather just stay a Student than get involved!!!  where I myself think its role play/pretend of more darker human aspects that is potentially a safety-valve and potentially has a  the***utic value stress release and creative aspects ect which I'm not getting to express/try because of so much cross-overs with real non-pretend human ***s getting targeted at peeps and potentially peeps who are minority's like me!!! Because of others using & abusing social-access I'm not getting the relevant experience!! Unless I want to get risk getting entrapment into shit 🤔 only good thing for me is the learning potential here which has already helped to protect me a LOT for the future with a lot more awareness of what's at stake!!! Because of the way sexuality(s) is presented in this society and because of sexual-dynamics of bad power/imbalance a lot of guys and some women can't seperate their fantasy(s) from reality(s) which makes them losers and jerk-offs and also anti-social potentially with pyscopathic tendencies potentially because if that guys "fantasy" was to become real it'd be involving real vicious and grossly illegal human slavery(s) such as *** assault kidnap battery control & *** ect and a potential death just to satisfy a shit fantasy of total human-***s!! If that's what he thinks this site is designed for getting that kind of access he's way-off ☹️ he thinks it's okay to approach peeps with that shit he's again way-off 😬 he thinks Fetish is a free-Key to getting access from members to turn his sickness into reality(s) he's way off!!!! 

 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Reply gone into the wrong section ☹️ this was for the previous post