Munch Notes/Agenda - Kink Shaming - 15th July 2021

[li****]

Munch Notes/Agenda - Kink Shaming - 15th July 2021

 

Host  @Shenna  @ChastityPup

 

Contributors:   @lil-monster @PixieDust @Shenna @ChastityPup

 

1. What is kink shaming?

 

• Kink shaming is when someone will judge, mock or criticise someone else’s kink/fetish and or lifestyle.

 

2. Have you yourself or do you know someone who has experienced kink shaming? If yes, how did that make you feel?

 

3. If you have seen kink shaming in action, have you stood up for that person? Or have you had to stand up for yourself at being kink shamed?

 

4. Can you give some examples of when kink shaming might happen and or occur? 

• Online on a Kink or Fetish site
• At work
• Through various aspects of your social life for example a sports club, family dynamics
• On social media
• School
• University

 

5. Do you think it's easier to kink shame someone with an unusual fetish/kink? Or does it happen to any and all fetishes/kinks? 

 

6. What are some of the lifestyle choices/kink/fetishes that can be kink shamed or judged the most? 

• Consensual Non Consent
• Age play, DD/lg, AB/DL
• Pet play
• *** or Watersports
• *** play
• Foot fetish
• Gender play 
• Sissification
• Feminization
• Dollification
• People are not always open about their relationship status on their profiles for example being married to a vanilla but looking for a BDSM dynamic 
• People are shamed for having kids while practising kink

 

7. Why do people kink shame or judge certain kinks/fetishes? 

• Maybe because they don't like that certain kink etc and/or they just haven't been educated on it enough.
• Makes them feel superior to the other person

 

8. Do you educate yourself on the scale of the lesser known kink and unusual fetishes or do you stick to your own fetishes/kinks? If so how?

• Ask person about their kink or fetish
• Research online
• Watch youtube

 

9. How can kink shaming someone affect them?

• It can cause serious impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being, ultimately causing psychological harm in the end
• They may feel misunderstood, dismissed and or invalidated
• It can cause someone to not be fully truthful and or hide their kink with a respective partner
• It can create triggers
• Cause regression
• Withdraw from the community
• To hide their kinks and fetishes and not being part of the lifestyle for *** of being judged 

 

10. How can we combat kink shaming? 

• By being more open and honest about certain kinks/fetishes
• Educating more about them
• Call people out – for example some people may not realise they are kink shaming
• Redirect people to educational sources
• Stand up for others who are being kink shamed
• Offer support and understanding to someone who is being kink shamed

 

11. In a general conversation, if someone has a kink/fetish that you do not agree with, do you leave the conversation or do you stay and educate yourself?

 

12. Have you ever been in a situation where you have kink shamed someone and not even realised?

 

13. If you have realised that you have kink shamed someone what do you do?

• Do you go back to person and apologise?
• Do you go and do some research on that kink?

 

14. How do you deal with someone whose kink is to kink shame?

 

15. Has anyone witnessed kink shaming at a fetish event and or fetish club or in general public?

• Shamed about kink/fetish clothing worn in public
• Shamed about gender in public 
• Not having appropriate equipment
• Not wearing the appropriate clothing for the event

 

16. Do people know any acronyms for kink shaming?

• Your kink is not my kink but your kink ok (YKINMKBYKIOK)
• Yours kinks are not my kinks but that’s ok (YKNMKBTOK)

 

17. Any final thoughts or questions?

 

 

[Chastity_Pup_Gabbia]

It was a pleasure doing the munch with Shenna. Thank you Lilm and Pixie.

[Si****]

Shame I missed it. It looks like a good discussion was had. I enjoyed reading the notes

[Ch****]

I am amazed! Perfect communication skills

[li****]

2 hours ago, ChastityPup said:

It was a pleasure doing the munch with Shenna. Thank you Lilm and Pixie.

You're very welcome pup we always love having you and shenna as hosts and if you ever think of a topic you'd love to host let us know ❤️

[Deleted Member]

I’ve seen kink shaming to many times on social media sites i think it’s wrong to shame someone because there kinks ain’t the same as other people and wrong to be judgmental.

Edited July 20, 2021 by Deleted Member