I like flogging and spanking. I am up in my head way too much. As a sub I put a lot of pressure on myself to br as perfect as I can. Sensory stimulation like impact play gets me out of my head and just caught up in all the "feels".

Very engaging. Thank you for sharing.

You need to sit silently and decide who you ARE and who you will be fulfilled by being for your TRUE self. In my professional/public life I exuded dominance over everything, but it was a role. When I touched the doorknob to my home, all the stress, expectations, and pressure were blocked from Read more… entering my home, because my True Self, I am a submissive. It is not a "role" I act for an audience of one! It is my base.

@BlondieDoll I agree to the moon and back. Every person has lost something or had something taken away. What I know is true for me, is that the physical loss of things no matter how sentimental or monetarily valuable have easily been forgotten or replaced compared to the loss of my trust and Read more… safety. The people who recognized that in me and went out of their way to assure me I would always be safe in their presence have been my biggest blessing. Someone who knows my hard limits and has never said, "come on, just this once" or "if you really love me" before making a request. When I talk about my late husband/Dom my most heart felt description is he gave me me my first sense of being safe and having a home. He is why I like hearing "good girl", because it gives me back that sense that I am perfect, precious, and cherished so highly I know anything I ever need is already guaranteed.

If you go to a different sex positive place like fet life dot com under the menu you go to events and it shows all the kink events, parties, clubs, Munches in your area

When the younger guys approach me, one of the things I suggest to them is asking one of the guys over 60 to mentor them if they have been in the "Lifestyle". Going to parties, dungeons, clubs, gangbangs, whatever kink events have rules, etiquette, processes or you can be banned. Tell him you will Read more… buy him a couple of beers and have a list of question. Get it straight from the Dom's or Sub's mouths.

I have blocked more people on here in two weeks than 20+ years on FetLife dot com.

I read on another thread a younger man assumes female on this site is here for one reason and he feels annoyed when a female say no to him. This site promotes kink activity without also promoting kink community etiquette, protocols, values, and morals. The kink community is just that, a community Read more… with a well defined structure and rules.This is a dating site. FetLife site is the doorway to the kink community.

This and the same insights from a sub who was on their side of a situatio such as this should be mandatory reading. For anyone new to the lifestyle.

If they call you mommy they probably want validation and safety. Make them *** but be their rescue from hood, blindfold, confinement

If you are not getting anything out of it, you don't sound in charge. What do you want if you are in charge? Set limits, boundaries (" one call a day, 5 minutes, make it count...; or "you don't call me, I call you. Now hang up!)