I Got Comfortable Taking Then I Learned This

[mr****]

Something I had to learn as a Dom: I got comfortable taking.

I liked being in control. I liked being wanted. I liked asking for what I wanted and watching her willingly give it to me.

And I got very comfortable there.

But experience taught me something: being dominant doesn't mean taking everything just because it's being offered.

I had to learn when to take, when to give, when to push, and when to leave something alone. I had to learn that my pleasure matters, but so does understanding what her submission actually means.

I’m not interested in pretending I’m some perfectly balanced Dom who figured it all out from day one. I learned by paying attention, listening, making mistakes, and understanding the difference between what I could take and what made the dynamic better for both of us.

So I want the submissive perspective.

When you submit to a man, what makes you want to give him more?

Is it the way he takes? The way he handles what you give him? The confidence to ask for what he wants? Or something deeper?
What is it that most Doms miss?

Tell me the part of submission you wish more men understood.

[sc****]

The more communication, more trust in a relationship the more I submit. Submission for more than just basic sex needs is earned. A good Dom or Master always has your best interest at heart even if you as the submissive don’t know it yet. You listen, you learn, and you guide, you tell- but ultimately it is my decision every time I submit. You thrive to make each other better not just sexually ( if your dynamic isnt purely scene related ).

[ia****]

I love having and back and forth. Banter and quick wit. I love the playfulness of the dynamic and running my mouth until he proves he can handle me then my submission is taken from me. (Obviously I give it) but ya know what I mean.

[SU****]

Communication, Communication, communication! Trust is built through openness, unwavering honesty, and strict respect for the submissive's boundaries. ❤️

[Deleted Member]

Safety, desire, and care. Too many men walk around thinking being a dom means bossing others around when that couldn’t be further from the truth. That’s a bully, and using it as an excuse to degrade and berate women just makes you an asshole. I think submission is freely given when the other person knows that despite the scene or activities their partner cares about their wellbeing first and foremost and treats them with the respect and adoration they deserve. If the only thing you do is use and ***, she’ll argue, fight, and resist any semblance of control over her personhood. But if you can show her that no matter what, she is safe with you, there’s a whole world of possibilities that will open up.

[guppy400]

@BlondieDoll I agree to the moon and back. Every person has lost something or had something taken away. What I know is true for me, is that the physical loss of things no matter how sentimental or monetarily valuable have easily been forgotten or replaced compared to the loss of my trust and safety. The people who recognized that in me and went out of their way to assure me I would always be safe in their presence have been my biggest blessing. Someone who knows my hard limits and has never said, "come on, just this once" or "if you really love me" before making a request. When I talk about my late husband/Dom my most heart felt description is he gave me me my first sense of being safe and having a home. He is why I like hearing "good girl", because it gives me back that sense that I am perfect, precious, and cherished so highly I know anything I ever need is already guaranteed.

[de****]

It's when He has a code He lives by and is consistent in that. What He wants doesn't change based on what becomes available it is a constant, a *** of nature. You know you won't be hurt because He doesn't break His stuff and when things don't go perfectly He takes responsibility. In that context what I want doesn't matter I know He will take what He needs from me.

[Sw****]

So for me it would be when the Dom is clearly paying attention to me as much as he is enjoying what I’m giving him, that my needs are just as important as his are, to be addressed when he wants, but not altogether forgotten. And also vocalising.
The more I hear he is enjoying, the more I want to give.
I guess it comes down to how he handles what I am giving. Make me feel cherished and safe and I will give everything I can.
Also communication. If something is discussed or if I say something, don’t just listen but also hear what is being said…

[48****]

HEY

[Da****]

Lesson of the day. Just because they say they are a DOM, does not mean they are. I thought I would find a lot more educated people who are serious about their safety and the needs of those they choose to play with. My expectations dropped me off a cliff lol.

[Deleted Member]

September 17, BlondieDoll said:

Safety, desire, and care. Too many men walk around thinking being a dom means bossing others around when that couldn’t be further from the truth. That’s a bully, and using it as an excuse to degrade and berate women just makes you an asshole. I think submission is freely given when the other person knows that despite the scene or activities their partner cares about their wellbeing first and foremost and treats them with the respect and adoration they deserve. If the only thing you do is use and ***, she’ll argue, fight, and resist any semblance of control over her personhood. But if you can show her that no matter what, she is safe with you, there’s a whole world of possibilities that will open up.

Ohhhh to have this 😮‍💨