Finding my voice that gets lost in the heat of the moment

[Sh****]

My babe is a Gynephilic Phallosexual. So naturally he loves trans women. But unfortunately he fell in love with me. A cis female. He told me he’d never been dominated by a woman before and how it was his dream amongst dreams to be able to experience that. So naturally I wanted to give that to him. When the right trans woman couldn’t be found, we settled on me strapping up and taking charge. Well I have trouble being vocal. I use my femme bottom man on a daily basis but he’s still not satisfied. He now wants to be sissyfied and for me to take full control, no more switch, he don’t want to top anymore at all. So I am trying to find my voice but it’s been so hard because the only place I am allowed to have a voice is when I’m strapped up. When I am not, I should be. So I’m trying to fill this role that’s been given to me properly. How do I assert myself. How can I command respect and if it’s not given take it. I feel like I need a practice buddy for some hands on training or a teacher to show me the ropes . Ill thoughts?..

[st****]

Go on a field far away from civilization nd scream as loud as you can. Open up your deepest inner self by trying various things

[No****]

Is it a voice you want to find? You say a lot about what your partner wants but not much about what you want.

[Pi****]

Im gonna hold your hand while i say this… Your husband is trying to be a power bottom. He wants you to “dominate him” but he is dominating you to fulfill his desires without any respect or care what yours are. “Unfortunately” you fell in love with him. He did not fall in love with you. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this- but you should know the truth.

[xVoxDraconisx]

Your a good woman. You still need to be satisfied in yourself too though. Not gona lie, pretty jealous that dude found one like you. I havent had much luck personally. No many lassies are into pegging. But yeah, as previously said by others, see previous replies. Hope everythin works out for you. x

[Th****]

You owe it to yourself to be open and honest with him. Your needs are equally as important as his are. Sadly it seems like he’s being selfish and putting what you need, want and desire on the back burner of no burner at all.

I practice enthusiastic consent. If it’s not “F— Yes” energy it’s not worth it. So you need to ask yourself is it worth it. What are you getting in return and are you happy.

How would he feel if you were to seek outside help to have your needs met?

[TexasVikingKing]

It sounds like you're both confused about dynamic. He wants to be dominated, but is using dominance to be dominated? Him shoving that role at you and expecting you to fill it should be a flag.
And explain what you mean by "only place im allowed to have a voice is when I'm strapped up"? He takes lead on everything else outside bedroom by mutual agreement? Or he tries to run everything but then demands to be dominated?
And it sounds like you have been made to feel guilty about him not being able to find what he wants. "Unfortunately he fell in love with" you? That screams something is off with whole thing

[ro****]

Cut your losses and leave for someone who wants what you want

[sa****]

I don’t think he’s thinking about your needs at all and that’s a bit selfish of him based on the info you’ve supplied. You don’t seem interested in this dynamic as much as he is, which sets up a bit of a mismatch, meaning you both could be sexually incompatible. For that I say, if sex is important to you, it’d be best to leave and find someone else who can fulfill your needs with no issue, because clearly it’s not that this partner of yours wants to try something something new, he wants to change you completely to satisfy his own fantasies.

[guppy400]

You need to sit silently and decide who you ARE and who you will be fulfilled by being for your TRUE self. In my professional/public life I exuded dominance over everything, but it was a role. When I touched the doorknob to my home, all the stress, expectations, and pressure were blocked from entering my home, because my True Self, I am a submissive. It is not a "role" I act for an audience of one! It is my base.

[ey****]

it doesn't seem healthy at all.  everything here seems to be centred around what he wants. What do you want?

Equally, if he is constinantly not satisfied - like, it feels like as soon as someone trans smiles nicely at him he'll be off - so maybe make that decision for him.    It feels like he's treating you as a "you'll do" 

[Go****]

You could honestly use this to your advantage and take control and be the dominant partner- get the things you want out of the relationship if you feel it's worth having.

[ni****]

There's absolutely no way I could dominate so I understand why you find it difficult. But I do have to agree with the majority here where are your needs or even mutual desires in this situation?
Exploration wants must come from both sides rather then from a place of being eager to please.
Trust me this will just lead you to a place of resentment which will completely rot away.

[TheZenCommander]

I'm always happy to mentor if you're looking for that.

[ca****]

If he's not respecting your authority in the moment, and is being a brat, gag hin with a tea towel. You can also blindfold him. He might be really into that.

Seriously though.... it sounds like you might have married a trans woman who doesn't know it yet. The fascination with trans women, then the move into sissy kink, and then not wanting to top anymore.... but still being unsatisfied with all of it. this is kiiiinda textbook trans egg behavior.

It *could* be years before the need to actually publically transition becomes too great. The good news for you is that if and when she does transition she will probably not want to do that sissy stuff in the same way anymore.

So consider for yourself what it would mean for you if that happens some day. Pre transition and the first year or so are awkward times as you are likely experiencing. What are your needs and boundaries? In what ways would you support her, and can you consider why it would be like being in a relationship with a woman? How can you both exist in ways that are authentic to yourselves?

[Al****]

Sounds like you peg him a lot

[Sw****]

Have you considered getting a packer?
Packer flaccid phallic and balls that fit in a harness as usually worn sith dildo.
Considering what you want to be in domme role.y history has me concerned with full control being a energy draining "mommy" role if applied 24/7.
Just don't want OP to make the same mistakes in femdom I did when ***d to switch.

[Valaya]

I find it difficult to stay verbal during sessions. I think it can be difficult to navigate the change in the dynamic of a relationship. For instance, I've been with my partner for 8 years and I feel like I've learned more about him in the last year than the entire relationship.