wi**** Posted Wednesday at 03:40 PM One thing I hear alot is how women are overwhelmed by messages from guys asking to do sexual acts in them. Or constant verbal approvals of their pictures that borderline the obscene on this app. Women want the attention and admiration and love the freedom this app provides but sexual pressure or obscene confirmations is not what they want. On one hand I can understand the point of view of the men. Women want to feel good about them selves and gain attention from those she feels worthy. However Guys see it as a sexual being wanting the kind of attention they are willing to give. It may be true to a point but its more complicated than that. It becomes a double edge sword and they end up recieving too much wrong attention. Which can scare them turn them off and mass delete messages with out reading them. And remove their pictures with haste or just flat out ignore the messages. The good guys that may respond kindly. Have heartfelt messages that share admiration and genuine hope of connecting get lost in the sea of crap. I feel ashamed for my kind and feel sorry for the women out there. But there is hope. My advice to women would be maybe send a message to the quite ones. The cute guys that dont have a perfectly procured one liner. Maybe spend a moment with them to see if they are worth talking to. Ones that seem genuine not cocky and confident. Some of the most respectful but kinky men out there that can shatter ur expectations dont know how to get the ball rolling. But will succeed in pleasuring you beyound ur wildest dreams if given the chance. Those with the most confidence and loudest alpha voice may seem tempting. But they usually have the most to hide and tend to be the most selfish. The strongest men tends to have a good woman beside them. If they dont seem that strong yet its because ur not there. If they already are strong be cautious. Most of the time its a fake it to make it act. ---------------------- what would your advice tips be for others on the site? How do you make the most from your time here?
Te**** Posted Wednesday at 06:29 PM You seem to suggest that women should modify their behaviour, but not the men?
Ms**** Posted Wednesday at 06:30 PM I identify with most everything you said here. I think your generalizations are pretty accurate. In the end, each person can stand on their own and how they choose to communicate with others. Its easy to stand out from the usual, by just being different. I try to answer and communicate with people who reach out, even if Im not interested, I can just say so. But you are right, there are times it can be overwhelming, especially if people are not messaging me as a human, but rather as a sex object. I too, removed most of my photos for this reason, and I seem to get more genuine communication. After that, if I want to share more, I will, when I feel comfortable or a connection with that person. I think the best way to connect is just that, reaching out to get to know a person. If someone wont give me a chance, its just a sign to me, that person isnt for me. My vaule is not based on them picking or ignoring me.
Ch**** Posted Wednesday at 06:32 PM Your advice to women is to send messages to men that appear to lack confidence? Because men that present as confident do so to hide personality defects? Did we get that right? And that strong men without women won't present as strong? If someone asked us for advice about the difficulties of online dating, we would definitely not point to this post as a prescription. It goes off the rails for us after "the good guys". We have yet to meet a woman that does not find confidence sexy. "Cocky" is a different story, as confident and cocky are not synonymous. If we are going to make wild generalizations about women it is that they like to be valued, emotionally and physically made to feel safe, even when they might want to feel "not safe" for a while (some danger can be hot). But if women are going to take a gamble with a person, to find out more, someone that is confident that they have the strong moral qualities above are likely who they'll choose.
Yi**** Posted Wednesday at 06:36 PM Women don't need advice to send mssgs to nice quiet guys. But women should message the profiles who grab their attention. Many do that , unless their instinct is men should pursue women. It's also an ancient instinct that men want to fuq anything with a hole.
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 06:36 PM Author Not suggesting modification whats so ever. Only pointing out the common situation I hear the most and offering a out of the box solution. Obliviously both parties motifying behavior would be ideal if caught in the cycle. However its seems pretty common knowledge that a man acting on predator instincts will not modify for genuine reasons. If anything will be more likely to hide their true self. Which become dangerous for the female And asking the quiet genuine men to act more alpha and predator like would have similar negative effects. But good on u to point out the flaw in the discussion.
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 06:45 PM Author 13 minutes ago, ChromeStarz said: Your advice to women is to send messages to men that appear to lack confidence? Because men that present as confident do so to hide personality defects? Did we get that right? And that strong men without women won't present as strong? If someone asked us for advice about the difficulties of online dating, we would definitely not point to this post as a prescription. It goes off the rails for us after "the good guys". We have yet to meet a woman that does not find confidence sexy. "Cocky" is a different story, as confident and cocky are not synonymous. If we are going to make wild generalizations about women it is that they like to be valued, emotionally and physically made to feel safe, even when they might want to feel "not safe" for a while (some danger can be hot). But if women are going to take a gamble with a person, to find out more, someone that is confident that they have the strong moral qualities above are likely who they'll choose. Someone got a little offended didnt they haha. Didn't say lack confidence. I said good geniune men who dont apear cocky and confident. Not cocky or confident. There is a difference.
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 06:46 PM Author 16 minutes ago, MsRed32514 said: I identify with most everything you said here. I think your generalizations are pretty accurate. In the end, each person can stand on their own and how they choose to communicate with others. Its easy to stand out from the usual, by just being different. I try to answer and communicate with people who reach out, even if Im not interested, I can just say so. But you are right, there are times it can be overwhelming, especially if people are not messaging me as a human, but rather as a sex object. I too, removed most of my photos for this reason, and I seem to get more genuine communication. After that, if I want to share more, I will, when I feel comfortable or a connection with that person. I think the best way to connect is just that, reaching out to get to know a person. If someone wont give me a chance, its just a sign to me, that person isnt for me. My vaule is not based on them picking or ignoring me. I enjoy ur take on the situation. Thanks for posting a comment
Lo**** Posted Wednesday at 07:11 PM That’s how my partner got me “off” this app. He was non-sexual, funny, smart, got what I said, didn’t push, showed interest and affection, checked on me daily and waited patiently for three month until I was ready and sure I want to meet him….that was February 2025 and we grow stronger every day🫶🏻
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 07:14 PM Author 38 minutes ago, YinKissesYang said: Women don't need advice to send mssgs to nice quiet guys. But women should message the profiles who grab their attention. Many do that , unless their instinct is men should pursue women. It's also an ancient instinct that men want to fuq anything with a hole. Women dont need advice. That is true. Gentle guidance if wanted maybe. And Just because its in men's nature to want to fuck every hole doesnt mean they should message everyone they see with the desire to so right away. Treating people like humans should be first priority. An art form lost since the age of the internet.
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 07:16 PM Author 4 minutes ago, LovedLady said: That’s how my partner got me “off” this app. He was non-sexual, funny, smart, got what I said, didn’t push, showed interest and affection, checked on me daily and waited patiently for three month until I was ready and sure I want to meet him….that was February 2025 and we grow stronger every day🫶🏻 The perfect example of a strong start with great potential. Congratulations on being one of the rare
Lo**** Posted Wednesday at 07:19 PM 3 minutes ago, willwantsit said: The perfect example of a strong start with great potential. Congratulations on being one of the rare Thank you so much 🫶🏻 I know I’m very lucky 😅 I wish more guys would be like him, women here would love that😊
la**** Posted Wednesday at 07:58 PM First I restate your intentions into person 1 and person 2 instead of men & women. We don't know how everyone's identifiers. Both persons involved need to know their boundaries and stick to them. If a message is not within your boundaries, tell them. Don't be a prick about it. Remember consent is not an option in this, it's a requirement. So without consent don't violate it by being crude and assuming this is just a pick up site to get laid. Read the profile. You get consent by conversations first. Don't "assume" right off the bat. When folks come at me with "hi, I saw your profile and like what I see, are you interested " - that is a convo starter If you come at me with "hi, I saw your profile and like what I see, are you interested in these sexual acts " - my response is typically something like "thanks for playing along but this is not a good look on you and if this is how you typically start your convo then we likely won't vibe to move forward. Hope you find what you are looking for, but it isn't here, have an awesome day" That is just a couple thoughts for consideration........
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 08:06 PM Author 7 minutes ago, lake-oswego271905 said: First I restate your intentions into person 1 and person 2 instead of men & women. We don't know how everyone's identifiers. Both persons involved need to know their boundaries and stick to them. If a message is not within your boundaries, tell them. Don't be a prick about it. Remember consent is not an option in this, it's a requirement. So without consent don't violate it by being crude and assuming this is just a pick up site to get laid. Read the profile. You get consent by conversations first. Don't "assume" right off the bat. When folks come at me with "hi, I saw your profile and like what I see, are you interested " - that is a convo starter If you come at me with "hi, I saw your profile and like what I see, are you interested in these sexual acts " - my response is typically something like "thanks for playing along but this is not a good look on you and if this is how you typically start your convo then we likely won't vibe to move forward. Hope you find what you are looking for, but it isn't here, have an awesome day" That is just a couple thoughts for consideration........ I appreciate you reiterating my post in ur own words. When it comes to male/female identities. I dont confirm to current political or gender standards. I believe all should be allowed to do what they want and identify how they feel. And speaking so to someone directly i would always adhere to their identification preference. But when speaking in general terms I will always speak how ive grown up speaking. If male and female biology is not wanted than the essence of such personality wise can be interpreted. If it doesnt relate to the thems and theys of the world im sure they can still understand the concept of the message and not take offense to the wording.
Mr**** Posted Wednesday at 08:06 PM When opening oneself up to possibilities, one opens oneself up to a less filtered version of reality, however that ends up. Most of the time the volume of what you don't want shoots up dramatically (after all, clear requests in a clear bio are provably non-deterministic when acting as a filter for mates, sad as that is). First advice is: loosen your grip to loosen the reins. For every area of life where you defilter your experience by exposing yourself to MORE™️, you must take both the result and yourself less seriously while also treating the options you entertain with greater scrutiny. (If you take yourself seriously while doing that, it becomes a literal job—and that mandates a funding flow.) Second advice is: keep your grip. After the previous advice, remember why you started this path and what that curious little intrigued thought was that prompted it. That has to stay absolute no matter the silver tongues you stumble into.
Mr**** Posted Wednesday at 08:07 PM When opening oneself up to possibilities, one opens oneself up to a less filtered version of reality, however that ends up. Most of the time the volume of what you don't want shoots up dramatically (after all, clear requests in a clear bio are provably non-deterministic when acting as a filter for mates, sad as that is). First advice is: loosen your grip to loosen the reins. For every area of life where you defilter your experience by exposing yourself to MORE™️, you must take both the result and yourself less seriously while also treating the options you entertain with greater scrutiny. (If you take yourself seriously while doing that, it becomes a literal job—and that mandates a funding flow.) Second advice is: keep your grip. After the previous advice, remember why you started this path and what that curious little intrigued thought was that prompted it. That has to stay absolute no matter the silver tongues you stumble into.
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 08:11 PM Author 4 minutes ago, MrDDS said: When opening oneself up to possibilities, one opens oneself up to a less filtered version of reality, however that ends up. Most of the time the volume of what you don't want shoots up dramatically (after all, clear requests in a clear bio are provably non-deterministic when acting as a filter for mates, sad as that is). First advice is: loosen your grip to loosen the reins. For every area of life where you defilter your experience by exposing yourself to MORE™️, you must take both the result and yourself less seriously while also treating the options you entertain with greater scrutiny. (If you take yourself seriously while doing that, it becomes a literal job—and that mandates a funding flow.) Second advice is: keep your grip. After the previous advice, remember why you started this path and what that curious little intrigued thought was that prompted it. That has to stay absolute no matter the silver tongues you stumble into. Im gonna admit. It took a couple of reads to fully understand this post. Not many people make me feel stupid. Congratulations on that. But I get ur meaning and enjoy ur perspective. I like the push but pull dynamic you laid out.
la**** Posted Wednesday at 08:13 PM 7 minutes ago, willwantsit said: I appreciate you reiterating my post in ur own words. When it comes to male/female identities. I dont confirm to current political or gender standards. I believe all should be allowed to do what they want and identify how they feel. And speaking so to someone directly i would always adhere to their identification preference. But when speaking in general terms I will always speak how ive grown up speaking. If male and female biology is not wanted than the essence of such personality wise can be interpreted. If it doesnt relate to the thems and theys of the world im sure they can still understand the concept of the message and not take offense to the wording. Not to take away from the reason of your post, but if we don't give recognition to a change and how we identify and stick to society's norms of men and women, then that norm is harder to change And in my opinion is a discredit to those who are trying to get away from societal norms
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 08:22 PM Author 8 minutes ago, lake-oswego271905 said: Not to take away from the reason of your post, but if we don't give recognition to a change and how we identify and stick to society's norms of men and women, then that norm is harder to change And in my opinion is a discredit to those who are trying to get away from societal norms There is a whole different topic in regards to identity. Typical social media aiming the desire to poke hightly senstive topics with the purpose of dividing are things i dont want to get into. Being that im not involved in the lgbt+ community i will continue to speak in terms and topics i can understand and relate to. Which consist of normal biology and terms regarding straight male/female dynamics. Anything outside of that is beyond my knowledge and experience and dont pretend to feel otherwise. As I said. Speaking directly i will always adhere to their requests. Speaking in general terms. I will adhere to my experience and knowledge. And wont pretend to know more than I do.
Mr**** Posted Wednesday at 08:32 PM 21 minutes ago, willwantsit said: Im gonna admit. It took a couple of reads to fully understand this post. Not many people make me feel stupid. Congratulations on that. But I get ur meaning and enjoy ur perspective. I like the push but pull dynamic you laid out. Sorry about that friend, but I'm glad you got the gist. In case others didn't: expect more trash with diamonds mixed in and be cool with that, but also never accept trash when you started out looking for diamonds. (If you started out looking for trash... I guess you have only made your work harder, best stick to your own hometown? 😂)
la**** Posted Wednesday at 08:45 PM 23 minutes ago, willwantsit said: There is a whole different topic in regards to identity. Typical social media aiming the desire to poke hightly senstive topics with the purpose of dividing are things i dont want to get into. Being that im not involved in the lgbt+ community i will continue to speak in terms and topics i can understand and relate to. Which consist of normal biology and terms regarding straight male/female dynamics. Anything outside of that is beyond my knowledge and experience and dont pretend to feel otherwise. As I said. Speaking directly i will always adhere to their requests. Speaking in general terms. I will adhere to my experience and knowledge. And wont pretend to know more than I do. RESPECT
u-6a1379509f386 Posted Wednesday at 09:13 PM When i first joined this app I was definitely overwhelmed with the messages. 99 out of 100 were vulgar right off the bat. But sometimes that 1 can surprise you in a good way☺️. A great concersation starter led to a relationship. Once I found what I was looking for, I would take the time to reply to the respectful ones, that I was not available. But even that sometimes got dicey with men persisting about sharing, threesomes, watching, etc. I finally took my picture down, wrote in my profile that I had a dom and was not interested, and just stopped responding to other messages. It sucks that I'm sure that makes it harder for the genuine ones out there who made the effort to write a nice opening message, and i hope they eventually find who they are looking for.
wi**** Posted Wednesday at 09:18 PM Author 4 minutes ago, u-6a1379509f386 said: When i first joined this app I was definitely overwhelmed with the messages. 99 out of 100 were vulgar right off the bat. But sometimes that 1 can surprise you in a good way☺️. A great concersation starter led to a relationship. Once I found what I was looking for, I would take the time to reply to the respectful ones, that I was not available. But even that sometimes got dicey with men persisting about sharing, threesomes, watching, etc. I finally took my picture down, wrote in my profile that I had a dom and was not interested, and just stopped responding to other messages. It sucks that I'm sure that makes it harder for the genuine ones out there who made the effort to write a nice opening message, and i hope they eventually find who they are looking for. Thats great to hear you were able to weed through the trash to find one of the good ones. I am sure he feels lucky he made it through. Sucks to hear about all the crap u had to endure just because u wanted to stay involved. Im sure it gives other hope who read this. Appreciate u posting.
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